Sometimes I find having a lot of young kids (6, 5, 1 & 1) very tiring. This weekend was one of those weekends.
I had the distinctively 168 hour / Laura Vanderkam thought that I currently work 32 hours a week (If I'm in work all week, which I haven't been for 3 weeks in a row). I do my own sport (gym with gym buddy, circus class with other gym buddy, and any of my own running and yoga) around 8 hours a week. I spend about 55 hours a week sleeping.
The math shows I spend 73 hours a week parenting and managing a house and actively watching kids and doing all the stuff that family life involves.
I chose to have kids, and kids on good days (many days!) they bring clouds of joy. I'm also eternally thankful I don't have newborn twins. My kids are all healthy. They sleep. Problems are generally simple. This is all good.
But also, toddlers are hard, and TWO toddlers is hard. It's physically demanding and mentally exhausting. They will be 2 at the end of this month. They are amazingly independent: they can walk up and down stairs, open doors, they climb in and out of their own highchairs. They feed themselves with utensils and Aubrey can even serve herself her own food at the table.
In the meantime, I have two other great kids who I feel I barely pay attention to because I am often maxed out taking care of twins. Even when the twins aren't around (ie, if Andy takes them out) I am then desperate to get some of the pile of house and life admin done... sort the toys, do the dishes, prep the dinner, rotate the clothes, update the budget... everything.
On Saturday we had planned a trip to the pumpkin patch. We have been every year and I booked tickets. Lily asked for pumpkin waffles for breakfast.
I woke up at 6, prepped waffles. Chopped melon.
A screaming fight over melon ensued between the 5 and 6 year old regarding who got more pieces. I had cut up an entire cantaloupe but it was apparently not enough and not fair. In the midst of this, the 5 year old told me she did not like these waffles (the ones she asked for and I had spent 20 minutes making at 6am).
I definitely did not respond with kindness. I told the kids we are never eating melon or waffles again. Then I changed it to "we are never having melon or waffles for a month" which is more reasonable but also devolved into a screaming argument.
I looked at the rest of the weekend: We had morning pumpkin patch and an afternoon family party, followed by the 6 year old's birthday on Sunday where he would be out all day with Andy, and I would be home with Lily and twins all day again. I told Andy I needed some me time and so I went for a 10 mile run.
After the run I was too tired to be grumpy at the kids, or at anyone. Success?
I'm currently on a work trip this week, two nights in Leeds. I visited Leeds 3 years ago, around this time, and enjoyed it immensely. I'm hoping I'll get the same thrill and distance and rest this time and come back with more energy and excitement for the remaining hours of my non work non sleep week.
Anyways, no great realizations at the end of this blog post. Sorry it's a bit of a whiney one! I know my life is filled with luck and opportunity and good things. The sun even came out on Sunday...
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| They stopped fighting long enough for this photo |
Good times! I bet that 100% of the people reading this have been on the receiving end of the "I hate waffles and I've always hated waffles especially your waffles even though this morning I asked you to make me waffles" tirade. I also bet that your "not with kindness" response was much more mild than what the rest of us have said in that situation. Some days the littles are on a mission to push all the buttons.
ReplyDeleteI don't have the answer either but I hope that you enjoy your time in Leeds!
Good on you for recognizing what you need and filling your cup! (And also, for being able to run 10 miles on a moment's notice!)
ReplyDeleteParenting littles is hard and you sound like a super woman to me. I think 1.5-3 years is the absolute worst age, all danger and no reason. I recently told my youngest one (who was sad they didn't have another sibling) that if I could have woken up to a 4 or 5 year old, I would have had a 3rd but alas, that wasn't a possibility.
Your kids are so close together in age and you're already such an active family--I am SURE that when the bigger kids are 10-12 you'll have no trouble finding ways to make wonderful memories with them and getting plenty of kid time (whether its 1:1 or the whole group).
I would have threatened to never serve waffles or melon again - guaranteed! We can only do our best. - Kat
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