I feel like on this blog I do a fair amount of cute photos and then some "oh this is hard" chat and then more "we went to france!" chat.
I don't really see many families with 4 kids in our age range that I can compare(?) myself to, so maybe I'm just doing it badly, or maybe I'm doing it well, or maybe it's like a tough mudder race and there is no bad or good because who would even want to do that? (lots of people... but it's morning and I can't think of a better analogy)
There is a mom at school with 3 kids, girl (8), girl (5), boy (1.5) and she always seems so calm with her kids walking next to her and not being chaos. Other than that... I don't know many 4 kids families or even 3 kid families.
Anyways, let me invite you to join my play date yesterday!
A friendly aquantence had asked to meet up in the park after school. I like her and haven't seen for a long time. It was Friday, it was sunny. Why not?
3:00 Twins were not happy to be up from nap, Aubrey was very sad. I threw snack and drinks in the pram, got the twins in the pram, picked up the kids from school. Walked to the park.
3:45 Got to the park. There were lots of kids there. Aubrey was still sad. Clara was curious. Ezra and Lily ran off and I couldn't see them. Friend showed up! Friends mum helped push Clara on the swing. Aubrey was sad.
3:50 Lily said she needed a wee. Friend and Lily went off for a wee in the woods.
3:55 Aubrey started yelling "wee wee potty" and I realized she had pooped AND I had forgotten the nappy bag.
I asked a stranger for a nappy and he said he didn't have any.
I saw another friend with a 1 year old and managed to squeeze Aubrey into a size 4 nappy and clean up her teeny tiny poo while she stood on a bench at the park.
I caught up with friend's mum for 2 minutes.
4:00 Lily and friend came back and Lily said she needed a poo RIGHT NOW.
I asked friend if she wanted to come back to my house so that Lily could do a poo. She agreed (probably because this play date had literally lasted 15 minutes so far)
4:15 We got back to my house and Lily did do a poo, and then Aubrey was sad and vomited on the floor. I tried to clean it up quickly while friend's mom was outside
Lily went to find friend to show her the giant poo. Because... kids. I didn't catch this because of aforementioned vomit.
I told Lily and Friend to go outside and play. They did. Friend's mum watched everyone outside while I cleaned up Aubrey and got her new clothes.
4:20 I noticed our neighbour I've never met had a girl who was looking through our garden and wanted to come play. I invited her in. She played with the kids in the garden while I tried to talk with friend's mum.
4:25 Clara fell down and broke her plastic bike in two and started crying.
4:30 All the big kids ran in to neighbours garden.
4:40 Friend said she had to go (which was the right time) so we yelled into neighbours garden to get kids back.
4:45 I couldn't get over to say goodbye because Clara had gone to the back of the garden and was trying to climb in neighbours garden and I was carrying Audrey
I managed to carry both Clara and Aubrey to the gate to let friend out and say goodbye.
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So that's probably the end of that acquaintanceship right?
I do really value being social and so have tried to keep different friendships and acquaintanceships going throughout these young kids years, but I'm thinking maybe it's just not a good idea. Maybe my family in its current state is just not world ready, and the best thing to do is just not try. Maybe 4 kids is just not something that people should have to engage with so closely.
Chat GPT drafted me this nice text I can send to the remaining few people who have invited me/us to do things:

I made the mistake of stepping into the other room to read this. Part-way through, I thought I should check on my little guy. Sure enough, I walked into his room to find a craft he'd made totally dismantled, shredded paper and beads all over the floor. Kids are chaos.
ReplyDeleteHaha! I mean, that's basically what we call "Recycling" here... saves me the effort of binning my own kids art? Kids love destruction.
DeleteThis is Lisa - blogger won’t let me log in. What a rough play date! You have a lot going on with 4 kids and the twins being so young. I think it’s totally reasonable to opt out of playdates unless you can leave the twins behind! Otherwise it’s just too much chaos! I struggle with 2 kids so can’t fathom having 4, even though I am 1 of 5 in my family of origin. But I am also an older mom (had my kids at 37 and 40). And I find parenting to be a young person’s game. Hang in there - it will get easier! I’ve gotten to the point where I can mostly chat with the parents during a play date and it’s quite enjoyable!
ReplyDeleteThanks lisa! Yeah I think i might have to skip any invites if I have the twins, it's just too hard. I don't understand how people have 5 (or 4!) kids. I had the twins at 38, but I feel quite average age for the parents I see... although I don't really spend time with parents of 2 year olds so maybe they're all 5 years younger than me.
DeleteI had such a short period of playdate chat before the twins came... now it's back to chaos.
Oy, that sounds rough. And the dreaded "I have to poo!" - my kids are (much) older now, but that brings back memories.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you didn't have much of a chance to catch up with your friend. Kids tend to completely take over our lives, don't they. There's no way around it, you just have to go through it. I am at a different stage now - the only kind of "play-dates" we have are the ones where the kids get dropped off (and the oldest drives himself). No advice here - parenting is hard - hey, you do what you can and everything else will collapse into place.
This was remarkably relatable - especially the kid needing to poop while out and about. My kids are 6, 4, 2, and 3 weeks and going anywhere is often chaotic. (Haven’t gone many places with all four yet of course, but it was chaotic with just three.) Mostly we just solider on and recognize that it’s all going to be nuts but the alternative is going stir crazy. There are definitely times after a particularly squirrelly outing where I question ever leaving the house again lol
ReplyDelete- joymariecooks (blogger won’t let me login)