RachelinFrance reporting for blogging!

 Hello internets!

I am not disappeared

We are in Arles, France. Just me and the big (5 & 7) kids. Travel toddler twins would be a lot.

Little Lily was very tired yesterday after staying up until 11pm the night before travel.

We survived a trip to a French grocery store. I forgot that “meil” means honey. I don’t actually know French, but we now have honey Cheerios. We also have pitted olives. And yogurt that “tastes different”

Ezra asked if they eat Shepards pie here. My non traveling British kids are in for an adventure.

More family arrive today. I am excited to be on adventure again! Even if my adventure started with a 8:30 bedtime. 

Busy week, Burn it down Energy, Major Ennui, and more shopping updates

This week was busy - I had another work trip to London & Leeds, which was good, but also this time some of my colleagues (who I like) came as well and so instead of eating dinner alone and sleeping early I went out to dinner and spent time with people and I am now feeling person-burned-out.  Which isn't great because generally I like people, and I rarely ever see these colleagues in person, but I am just... tired.

On my first night my colleague asked me if I wanted to meet for breakfast and I told her I was going out to a cafe to do some journaling and planning and I would see her in the office.  I think she gets it and wasn't offended.  I don't get a lot of me time, and this is my "me time"

I went to my favorite cafe in the world and had my favourite breakfast and coffee and played with my planner and it was nice.

Also on this work trip, I got to go to a building while it was being built in London and go up to the 37th floor on one of those goods lifts on a building site and it was super fun and also a bit scary and also mostly amazing.  I am an office person but I work for a company that works for companies that do building stuff and so they organized this trip as an all in day adventure.

Also I will share this blurry photo of my new work outfit. :

 I bought this pair of shoes from Hush Puppies and they are actually pretty comfortable

Am I the most stylish person to ever enter an office? No I am not.  But do I look office ready and have an office look now that I can replicate without stressing every time?  Yes I think I do.  I am pleased with office wardrobe refresh project.

Anyways, that was my Monday-Wednesday.  Today I was tired and I had a big bag of "burn it all down energy".  I spent part of the day complaining to my colleague that I was going to get fired (I'm not - but the problem is that I've entered the sort of "business efficiency" operational space, and my efficient mind believes that if I am not being efficient then the most business efficient thing to suggest is to not employ me), looking at other jobs, and then contemplating moving to the North of England.  I'm not sure where this general sense of unrest has come from, but it's super uncool since everything is actually pretty good.

This evening I spent an hour sorting the house.  I cleaned toilets (I know, I never clean toilets!) and then I updated the photo albums for January.  One great thing about having a generally hard month (January) is that I took barely any photos and so the albums were super easy.  Aubrey had 7 photos for the month.

It's February 12th and I have taken exactly 7 photos this month.  There's only so much "here we are in the house while it's raining" that one can photograph.  Also "here's a sick kid" doesn't make for good photo memories either.

Anyways, it's 9:30 and I am getting really into reading The Women and staying up too late because it's so compelling, which it obviously was going to be since everyone has been talking about how great it is for ages.  So... I'm off to do some reading.  And then some sleeping.  And then more kid things.  

Maybe I'll take more photos.  or move to the North of England.  Or quit my job.  Although quitting would really be a waste of my new work wardrobe.

Are you suffering from February Ennui?  Do you get major burn it down energy?

Weekend Update with RachelinWales (just chilling)

Hello!  Happy Monday!

Sometimes Andy and I practice answering the question "how was your weekend" on Sundays so that we can be prepared to not sound insane if we get asked in work.

"How was your weekend?" Andy will ask me.  "oh, it was good, did a bit of house stuff, went for a walk, and just had some quiet time at home" I'll practice saying.

How was the weekend?

On Saturday morning it was cold and rainy and I decided we were not doing tennis and instead doing some hanging out at home.  My mom took Ezra on a mini adventure, and Aubrey, Clara, and Lily hung out at home while we did some house projects.  For instance... photo mounting project:

Just 6 months after we moved the kids rooms around and 6 weeks after we bought peg boards at IKEA we finally mounted the first pegboard and some pictures I bought for Lily.  Her room is finally coming together and this wall is no longer austerity wall, it is unicorn rainbow mermaid wall!

Lily seemed a bit low energy, and wasn't really eating food, which are two big warning signs for impending doom.  She was supposed to go to a birthday party, but I decided she seemed not very well and texted apologies.  She was sad, but was very excited for a sleepover with grandma that evening so was OK resting and saving up her energy.

During twin nap Andy finished another house project - replacing the light in our bedroom that we haven't liked for years and also had burned out bulbs we weren't replacing because we didn't like the fixture (cutting noses despite faces?)

We like the new fixture much better.

Ezra came home from errands and kids did something(?) while I did a toy sort and tried to return kids toys to the right rooms, and got a pile of clothes and unused toys ready for donation

At 2:30 I decided Lily probably wasn't well enough to go to Grandma's for a sleepover, but she really wanted to at least watch a film, so I drove her, Aubrey & Ezra to Grandma's to drop off some things and so the big kids could watch a film.  Grandma's house is 0.3 miles from our house (I was driving because I had big things to drop off).

Exactly one minute into the two minute drive Lily proclaimed "I'm going to be sick!" and then vomited on the back seat of the car. Ezra started yelling "there's sick next to me!" and so I pulled over, got everyone out of the car, and called Grandma who walked down to pick up Ezra.  Andy was taking Clara for a walk, so he picked up Aubrey, and I drove Lily back to the house and stuck her in the bath and started cleaning the car.

I am lucky that this is the first time I have ever cleaned sick out of a car, but it is gross, and I also wish we hadn't sat Lily in the back seat with the fabric floor.  We have weatherproof mats in the middle seats.  Lesson learned.

Lily watched Moana while taking a bath.  I cleaned the car and started laundry.

Andy came home, Lily fell asleep on the sofa, everyone else had dinner, I had a shower and helped with twin bedtime and then I went to book club!

Being in a book club was one of my 100 dreams - I was so excited when a friend invited me to book club. This was our first book club. I brought 3/4 a bottle of wine, because as I told book club "I was going to bring a full bottle but I had a day and needed some wine".

We read and discussed The Housemaid,  which was a fun read

We mostly just chatted because it was the first time we all met and we all got on really well

Suddenly there was no more wine and it was midnight! I walked home, read, and went to sleep at 1am.  As expected, Lily came in our bed at 3:30am, and so I slept in Ezra's kids bed until 6:30am when twins got up. I realized Ezra needs a non-toddler mattress (especially if I am going to sleep there).  Added to list of things to do.

Ezra had swim lessons (Lily was still poorly) so I drove him and Grandma to the pool, then we picked up pastries from a local bakery.  We all hung out in the house and did some playing outside because it stopped raining for 2 hours.  Over naptime I watched Mary Poppins Returns with Lily, and in the afternoon I took Aubrey and Ezra swimming and met up with a new-ish friend.  

Grandma made dinner, we did baths and bedtimes,  Andy and I went out for a short walk, and then I packed my clothes for a two day work trip to Leeds, set my alarm for 5am, and said to Andy

"So, what did we do this weekend?"

"Just a bit of chilling around the house really" he said.

And before we went to bed we did one more load of laundry and took apart the car seat for washing and emptied the trash to make sure there was no sick-clean-up stuff left in our house.

You know, just chilling.

Coat Closet Confessional - 2026 Coat Organization Project.

My name is Rachel and I have a Coat Closet Confessional.

I own a lot of coats.

Entryway Stairs.  13 of these are mine. 2 are Andy's

Not just coats... Jacket.  Jumpers.  Fleece things, zip up hoodies.

The problem is that I have, or have had, a lot of hobbies requiring specific outdoor gear.

In the olden days, before outdoor hobbies, I owned a lot of jackets for the sake of fashion but they all served the same purpose really.  I still have some of these, but the jacket clutter has grown.

I think I have somewhere between 15 and 20 Coats/Jackets/Zipper Jumpers (ie, outerwear... not including sweaters or things I can wear to work).

I've looked at them a lot and thought "I should get rid of some".  But also... which some?  All of them have potential uses.

I decided to look at it the other way.  Now, one of my goals this year is to do a Coat Audit.

Rather than looking at everything I own and deciding what to keep, I'm going to think about everything I do and decide what outwear I need to do all these things, and *then* work backwards to figure out what I should keep or not keep or maybe I need a different jacket that does more than one thing?

Things that have avoided the cull for years are as follows:

Green fleece with a broken zipper:

It's my favourite colour.  It's at least 15 years old. I wore it to the Cardiff half because I figured I could use it to the start to keep warm and then throw it away enroute (they collect jackets for charity at these things, which is pretty cool).  But then it wasn't that cold so I decided to just leave it with my bag and take it home after.

Green jacket that is neither waterproof nor warm:

I got it from Macys in... 2005.  And it looked great when I wore it with skinny jeans and boots but also I don't wear either of those anymore, and I actually can't remember when I wore this one last.

I also don't wear it because I own this green jacket that is waterproof and warm and I use it a lot right now for being outside in terrible british weather:

There are so many more like this.  I've got a reflective yellow waterproof jacket, and I've got a reflective yellow non waterproof jacket that also zips off into a vest.  I've got a purple waterproof that probaby isn't actually waterproof.  I've got a softshell that doesn't really fit.  I've got a brown puffer jacket that is super warm and a black one I got for free that's less warm but good for getting smelly or dirty (ie open water swimming or campfire).  I've got a purple patagonia that's a bit small and not that warm.  I've got a windproof that's super light and packable and was great when I used to be a road rider.  I have a purple zip up fleece, a fuzzy zip up hoodie, and old zip up hoodie... My jacket situation is Arials Whoosits and whatsits Galore

Anyways, the point of Jaket project isn't to share my hoarder shame on the internet, but to actually figure out what I need and then work backwards from there.  

That's a project for another day, but this year is the year of coat project.

February Thoughts, Planning thoughts, Clothing Thoughts.

Lily loves drawing Unicorns.  
These unicorns are currently everywhere.

February Thoughts

I've decided to have a bit of a monthly focus for February, but I don't have a great word for it.  It's basically "do things to reduce stress".  Here's what I have so far:

• Sleep.  Get enough sleep. Try to get up early, but not if it means getting less than 7.5 hours of sleep.  Focus on bedtime over wake-time (wake time is pretty set by the kids)
• Move. Walking and stretching and low impact bike rides (not every ride needs to be a HIIT ride, even if they are super fun)
• Comfort. Don't be unnecessarily uncomfortable - make sure I am not cold or hungry.  Wear slippers. Change into soft trousers/pyjamas. Light a smelly candle or add a scent to the diffuser
• Environment.  Nightly house reset, for shared spaces.  I like waking up to a tidy downstairs.  I hate tidying up downstairs in the evening.  BUT... a tidy environment reduces my own stress so I will do a house sweep every night and put things away and try not to resent it.

While these things probably seem like good ideas for life I'm committing to them for February only because February is a short month and you can do anything for 28 days.

Planning Thoughts

On Sunday I sat down and wrote out a plan for the week.  It looked like a very exciting week - I had gym with my gym buddy, a live Peloton ride, our cleaner was coming... I was excited for the week ahead.

Maybe I often live in the future because it is exciting and fun in a way that now sometimes isn't.  Looking at my week ahead looked sparkly and full of possibility! Looking at the week behind included getting vomited on by a toddler.  Looking at the present on Sunday was... fine. Vomit-less.  But still, I fully expected my week plan to not happen.  

Rather than be sad about it, I tried to enjoy thinking about how much fun the week *could* be, while also realizing I would probably get vomited on and miss most of the things.

Monday morning I woke up and started reading Best Laid Plans and had coffee and did a stretch and looked at my planner and then the day went... well! I was able to think in work and had an overall very good day.  Unfortunately our cleaner cancelled (they have come once, and cancelled twice, which is why I'm not feeling  the "oh I have a cleaner it's great" vibes... but still at least our Bathrooms got cleaned once).

On Tuesday I was tired, did not do morning routine, but did get a Peloton shout out for my 200th ride from Bradley Rose! 

And I went to the gym with my gym buddy for a legs routine which was fun.  We do evening gym and so I didn't get to sleep until 10:30pm.

On Wednesday I woke up with the kids, rolled out of bed, downed coffee, got kids off to school, sat down at my desk and started responding to emails and doing other random unfocused work.  At 8:55 I had a pop-up notification on outlook for a blood test, which I forgot was booked that morning, so I ran to the car and drove really fast (and also slow because traffic) to the GP, where I arrived 2 minutes late (they cancel if you're 5 minutes late).  I had my blood draw, then went back home, then proceeded to be mostly unfocused until 3pm when I panic started to get work done and then didn't "finish" until 5:20 when I realized I was meant to get the kids and relieve the nanny by 5:30 so I ran to pick up and left everything an unfinished mess.

Anyways, my glorious "flow through live" organization system is still a work in progress. 

Clothing Thoughts

I know this should include real photos but clothing upgrade project is moving along!  The Burgundy Blazer from my last post is amazing and I love it.  The shoes were painful and returned.  I managed to find one dress from my new favourite store - Crew

I also found a pair of Chelsea boots from Clarks. Are they fancy? No.  Are they boots? yes.  As the British say - it does what it says on the tin

I used to love buying shoes and owned lots of shoes.  Now, work shoes are my final clothing upgrade issue.  I gave up and bought black work trousers from Boden, which fit great but are £75 which is why I resisted for a long time. 

Also they are not ankle grazing on me because I am not a tall model.

But what shoes go with work trousers?? I feel the internet will say "everything goes with black trousers".. but does it?! I am not wearing heels or pointy toe shoes.  I think my trouble buying shoes now is that I want between 99% and 100% comfort.  When I was younger my threshold was maybe 15% to 20%.  I remember once going out on a date with Andy where I told him I couldn't walk home because my shoes were too painful to walk.  

The brogues I ordered were both painful and ugly, so those have gone back.

I ordered these shoes, which I'm not sure are work appropriate, but I think they look cool.  Also £30 (down from £75) which might indicate they are actually not cool... but we will see.

I have a series of office days coming up and I am tired of looking dumpy or feeling dumpy or both.  Also, there are a LOT of things on sale now, so I've been able to try lots of things (the Blazer was £64 down from £129!).  I will calculate the cost of this office clothing refresh soon, but if you have any shoe advice in the interim please help!

5 on a friday - sickness, planning, shopping, and shopping

5 Quick things during twin nap:

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This week the vomiting bug moved from Aubrey to Clara, who suffered from Wednesday onwards.  Aubrey has been tired and off her food, Clara has been sick... it's a bit of a sickness house.  Thankfully our fabulous nanny has been watching them in the day, although I did decide she had gone above the call of duty when Clara threw up on her so finished work early to take over.  There are lots of nice things about having a nanny - I came downstairs to find Clara cuddling her on the sofa.  She didn't seem sad, or like she needed me.  Having additional emotionally available caregivers for kids is great.

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On Thursday I was supposed to be in London for a leadership meeting.  I left the house at 6am, got to the train station, and the car park was full.  This has never happened to me before.  I went to another train station but the next train was delayed and I realized at that point I wasn't going to make it to London in time for the meeting.  at 7:30am I got back to the house, to the surprise of everyone.  Andy was particularly happy because poor Clara had a nappy blowout in the night and required a bath and full clothing change.  I was sad to miss the London day, but next time I'll take a taxi or a bus or park at my local station.  It just means an even earlier start.

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When getting dressed for London I realized that nothing I own fits me right now.  I'm going through a... less trim phase.  Also, I'm 41 now.  Maybe the dresses that suited me 5 years ago just... don't.  I did some research on workwear and decided I needed a few new pieces to sort out my wardrobe.  Mostly - a blazer.  I have a black blazer but it's very "interview" and I do not work at "interview" job.  Everyone is pretty casual, but I like to dress a bit more business when I go into the office.  Fun fact - when I first met Kyria (on my way back from the office) she said "oh you look like a grown up" which I love because that is the aesthetic I am going for in work.  Someone who is a grown up.

I've ordered these to try:

I also need some new work shoes, because I'm not super into my ballet flats anymore.  I'm not sure if these will look grannie on me or smart professional, but I am hoping it's the latter

I also am excited to announce that I own some sweatpants (or Joggers, as is British) now! I am very happy to have added soft fuzzy trousers to my rotation.  For a person who spends as much time at home with toddlers as I do it seems insane that I did not own "soft trousers" (as Ezra calls them)

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Today was week 4 of 2.5 hours nursery for the twins on a friday and the potential for 2.5 hours of Rachel time!  Just to recap

Week 1 - did not make it to nursery due to very bad morning trying to get kids out the door

Week 2 - Twins went to Nursery while Andy and I did home stuff

Week 3 - Clara was ill (fever)

Week 4 - Clara was (recovering from vomitting bug)

I'm not having great luck with Rachel Days, but Clara did watch me try on clothes and sort laundry so that was nice.  

We also went to the big Sainsburys and bought wrapping paper and boxers and toilet bowl cleaner, so that feels like a big accomplishment.

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Today is Best Laid Plans book launch day in the UK! I know it's been out for like a month elsewhere, but I am excited and hoping it will be the kick I need to sort my planning system out so my brain stops being overfull all the time.  I actually did a "brain dump" today and there's just... a lot.  But also, what am I supposed to do with this brain dump? Keep working on things? Some of it is to do, some is thoughts, some is... just randomness.  

I generally don't use Amazon but I got a voucher for participating in an inclusive design study about mobility and access to public spaces with twins. I didn't realize I would get a voucher, I was just excited to participate. But then I used the voucher to pre-order Best Laid Plans so it was a win win win win.

8pm EDIT: Amazon drivers work late! So do Waitrose grocery delivery drivers.  Time to enjoy a super classy Friday night...

Organize 365 had an awesome podcast today about mental load and memory.  I am currently loving Lisa's podcasts.   

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And the twins are up!  This weekend is a funny one, it feels like there's not much scheduled but also not much me time.  Not sure where to go with that.  On Saturday we have Tennis in the morning (and I get a 30 minute Rachel coffee and walk!) then I am taking Lily to the pool with her best friend and then having the friend and parents over for pizza dinner.  On Sunday I have just Clara all day and no car, so I'm not sure what we will do.  We could take a bus! or a train? I don't really have a great idea for entertainment, but if all goes well I'll have a 2 hour nap of Rachel time to... do Peloton? blog? read? finish photo albums (currently 2 months behind)? Take a nap? Plan? read Best Laid Plans?  The world is my oyster... in a very time limited way.

What are you up to this weekend?  What would you do with a 2 hour twin nap on Sunday? Any workwear style advice for me??

Birthday Update - Cake, Shopping, Films, Fun, and some mild sickness.

My birthday sort of started Saturday night - Andy and I watched a film! We saw the new Naked Gun and it was funny and reminded me of the old Naked Gun films and how much I loved them as a kid.

We also opened a nice bottle of wine our friends brought us from the States when they visited in 2022.  It's from our favourite winery in Washington - AniChe - and it was delicious even if we could probably improve our wine storing situation.

Unfortunately on Saturday night Aubrey was sick in her crib, so at 1am we did a full bedding change and then went back to bed.

On my actual birthday (Sunday) and the big kids were very excited about the concept of breakfast in bed.  Lily (5) didn't want to sleep late so woke me up at 6:15 asking if it was the morning.  Andy brought me coffee in bed, which he used to do every day before we had kids and oh wow is coffee in bed a great way to start a day.  Then the kids brought me breakfast, which was porridge since Lily recently learned how to microwave porridge in school.  I had a lie in reading until nearly 7:45am.  I can't believe that sort of relaxation was daily before.

Big kids made some decorations to celebrate

I took the big kids to swim lessons, and then got home and had a cuddle with Aubrey definitely wasn't feeling great.  She proceeded to vomit on me, but luckily we had been given a washable fleece blanket and most of the vomit went on that and me rather than the sofa, which is great because washing our sofa is hard.  Aubrey and Clara lazed about on me, the kids made a pirate ship, Aubrey was sick some more, and the birthday proceeded roughtly as I thought it would

Twins went to sleep around 11am (early!) and the rest of us had lunch and then the kids watched a film while I did a Peloton ride.  I had planned some live rides for my birthday (forever chasing the shout outs, still never had one) but there was a big storm in the US and all live rides were cancelled.  Sad!  

After Peloton I took Clara, Ezra, and Lily to a friends house for a play date and dinner. She made Fajitas, which are my favourite, and my most favourite chocolate cake from Anna Jones.

I called my family and then was in bed reading by 9pm.  

On Monday I had the day off work (my work gives "Birthday Leave" which is awesome) and I had planned to go to town to try and buy some much needed clothes.  Aubrey was still not 100% but wasn't being ill anymore, so she had a quiet day with Nora and our Nanny and I took the train to Cardiff.  It turns out, buying clothes is really hard! Unlike the internet, stores don't always have all the sizes of things. Also, it's not like I can filter "Jeans" - I had to look in a lot of places.  Finally I went to the old standby of Marks and Spencers and found two styles that suit me and bought one of each, and then wrote down the size and style for future shopping.

I met up with a friend for lunch which was awesome, and finally went to a makeup store to buy some ilia foundation which I had run out of.  It was my lucky day because the foundation was on sale! So I also bought a Ilia multi stick.  The shop gave me birthday samples and they had a promotion where I could spin a wheel to win prizes, and I spun to the diamond prize which meant I got three prizes, and it all felt very "Birthday"

I went home to finish my shopping list and ordered some more jeans and some sweatpants and vitamins and a few things from Lush as the remainder of my birthday presents to myself.  Yes, 41 is the glamourous year of sweat pants and vitamin based gifts! 

Overall it was not a crappy birthday, which is a weird thing to say when I was actually vomited on, but mostly I'm happy that January is almost over and we are getting 3 minutes of extra daylight every day (if it stopped raining enough to see the sun) and within a month it will be light at 7am which is the right time for the sun to come up (not 8am like it did on my birthday).

Saturday Confessional - Things that are not going great

Kid art is going great and not related to this post

Hi! My name is Rachel and if I wasn't me I would compare myself to me and feel bad about it. (EDITED TO ADD: what I meant was that when I read my own posts sometimes I think "oh wow that person has it all together!" and then I realize that person is me and I do not have it all together.  It wasn't meant to imply anyone should feel bad about not being me... if I was less tired I could think of a better way to word it.)

I do try to do a good job blogging the bummer bits of life, as well as the good bits.  I have no problem with stream of consciousness "parenting is hard" posts.  But then, sometimes parenting isn't as hard and things can still feel blerg.

Here are some non parenting things that are not going great:

Sleep

Yesterday one of my happy things was my current reading life.  I *am* reading a lot now and that's great! But one of the main ways I get lots of reading done is by waking up multiple times a night and not being able to get back to sleep... I hate 3:30am on the clock.  We've also had some kids wake ups on top of the me wake-ups.  I was at about 6.5 hours average sleep for the past 2 weeks and that is not enough sleep for me.

Last night I slept through the night and it was great.  

Exercise

My exercise is going OK this year but only on work days, I cannot figure out how to fit movement into kid days.  I mean, I could be doing exercise right now instead of blogging, but I'm not.  Sometimes, at great effort, I get a 30 minute Peloton ride in during twin nap while the big kids watch a film with Andy.  It's a lot of effort for 30 minutes of sport.  So at most, I am exercising well on 4/7 days, and fewer if I go to the office.

Mornings

Maybe it's the aforementioned sleep, but I cannot get up in the morning.  I used to be a 5am morning person.  Now I wake up around 6 or 6:20 and then don't want to get out of bed and then sometimes do get out of bed but don't want to start anything I like doing (ie a blog post) because any kid could get up at any time.  This morning I got up at 6am and started writing this blog and now twins are awake at 6:30 and I don't know why because this is so early for them.  

In general I would rather not try to have morning time than try and fail to have morning time.

Birthdays 

I have a weird relationship with birthdays.  I don't think I really care about birthdays, but also last year I did the ultimate not caring and didn't really celebrate my birthday at all.  It was my 40th and it was on a Saturday.  I took Lily to a play date with people I didn't know very well and didn't mention it was my birthday.  Lily did mention it, which was awkward.  I did a Peloton ride with a friend which was fun and we had the same friend over for pizza which was fun but it all felt a bit... forced?  Or like it wasn't measuring up to some birthday metric, doing a live peloton ride at 9am shouldn't need to be reserved for a 40th birthday, and neither should eating pizza with friends.  But also, I didn't plan anything better or more, and didn't have the headspace to plan, so that turned out to be my 40th.  A mostly at home day.

In retrospect, I didn't want to be disappointed with my 40th so I pretty much planned for disappointment and it was all exactly as planned.  Is that success?  It felt like even more pressure at the time because it was my 40th birthday and it was on a Saturday.  People asked if I was having a party.  I generally didn't tell anyone it was my birthday.

AI has now informed me that I will never have a round number birthday on a Saturday again.  My next Saturday birthday will be my 140th.  If I want to celebrate a milestone on a weekend, my next "milestone" birthday will be my 75th on Sunday January 25th, 2060.  

All this to say, Birthdays are odd.  I would love to be a Birthday person who plans a big things and enjoys stuff, but I am not that.  Maybe it's because January isn't the time for planning big things?

After some more AI-ing it appears my 45th birthday is a Friday.  Maybe that birthday will involve a trip somewhere sunny.

Photo Albums

After 5 years of consistently updating my photo albums monthly I am just... behind.  I havent started the kids new albums (each kid gets their own album which runs from birthday to birthday).  Lily's needs updating from September, the rest from October.  I fished all their current albums and then... stopped.  Our family album runs through November (not as bad as I thought!) but needs December adding and then Printing.  It just feels like... a lot.  

I could stop now, but it also feels a bit unfair that the big kids will get yearly albums from ages 0-7 and 0-5 and the twins will get 0-2 only.  I think I need to carve out some time to just get caught up.  Once caught up it's about an hour or an hour and a half a month.

Social Life

This is totally on me - I am tired.  I don't feel like seeing people and doing stuff.  Over Christmas I think we had one too many play dates and my desire to "hang out" went negative.  Normally I am all over the "people are a good use of time" mentality.  I usually love having people over, doing stuff with people, going out to a meal, grabbing a coffee... but right now my social battery feels drained.  And then I feel worse because I have texts from people I like wanting to hang out and the limiting factor to our hang outs is... me.  I hope I get back to social soon.

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I'll stop there on my list.  I've got no great solutions, but I have started time tracking again because I am feeling very time pressured (and like I have no me time) and I'm sure that's not true.  Hopefully I'll get some more time & energy soon and then I can tackle some of the above. 

Do you have things that are not going great? Want to swap some things with me? Are you a birthday person?

Friday update, house goals, food things, and some happy things

Last week Andy and I took Friday off to get house projects done. It was great.  We had goals of mounting 3 shelves and 3 pegboards and instead mounted 1 shelf and no pegboards, but it didn't matter because mostly it was a really nice at home day and we haven't had one of those in ages.  When Andy used to work from home we could sometimes get things done midday... now he's in an office fulltime and it feels like things just build up.

We "finished" Ezra's room with the addition of the shelf and wall sticker:

The boy loves a cluttered aesthetic.  

I cleaned out our "pantry" shelves (which are actually bathroom cupboards we mounted in the dining room)

I threw away poppyseeds that expired in 2021 and sesame oil that expired in 2023. I chucked away some spices that were over a year out of date and put chutneys and jams in the fridge so we will eat them and not just save them forever.  I also baked my Trader Joes Pumpkin Bread I had been saving for a special occasion.  Trader Joes Pumpkin Bread is magic.

Because of the reshuffle I could move the pasta "backstock" from the kitchen shelves to the "pantry" and make room for the air frier!

I am loving having an air frier.  Really we would need a bigger one but I have been eating more veggies because I can quickly make roast veg just for me and I love roast veg.  For example, I added a pepper and mushrooms to this leftover fish curry to make it extra veggies:

There's no way I would turn on the oven just to roast some peppers and mushroom.  But the air frier is easy.  I know it's basically a tiny version of our oven, but it's cheaper and faster and less cleaning and I am here for it.

Speaking of cooking, I made a Lasagne!  I made this 30 plant Lasagne. It was in a magazine.  It wasn't the best Lasagne but the fact that it's even possible to make a lasagne means life less chaos than it used to be.  I even made a white sauce.  Are you so impressed?

In other news, Aubrey and Clara have started 2.5 hours of nursery on a Friday now.  It started last week, so of course Clara is now ill and missed nursery today.  It's still calmer being home with one two year old than with two of them.  Especially in this moment, where I am writing this blog post, and Clara is having a snooze next to me:

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I have a million half written blog posts in my head, but days have been so busy recently. But in honor of Elisabeth, here are some quick HAPPY THINGS:

• I picked up a set of super fancy montessori toys at the charity shop - these are about £100 new and I got them for £12

• Most of the kids are healthy right now
• My reading year has started strong - I've finished 3 books so far.  
• I got invited to a book club! I've wanted to be in a book club forever and I'm super pleased to be invited
• I've managed Peloton a few times this week
• I've got a new make-ahead lunch staple that I'm enjoying - Fruit, Yogurt, and a bunch of nuts and seeds (Chia, Hemp, Flax)
• The big kids are doing great in new swim lessons and are actually learning how to swim
• I'm enjoying Saturday morning tennis - kids have a 1 hour lesson and I get a 30 minute walk, a latte, and 30 minutes of watching a bunch of kids "play tennis"
• It's my birthday on Sunday and as I was writing the postman brought me a delivery of my favourite cake - thanks mom!
• My work gives us a day of leave for our birthday so I have Monday off work with childcare.  Time is an awesome gift.

How was your week? What is your favourite cake? Do you take (or get) a day off for your birthday?

Budget Fun Time! Where our money went in 2025

It's budget fun time!

Andy and I keep a budget in excel. We make a best guess at what life will cost (based on last year) and then we live our life.  I think rather than "budget" I track "where our money went".  

We track expenses but not income and take a monthly snapshot of our cash position to make sure we are not going bankrupt slowly or quickly. 

Here's where our money went in 2025:

Categories as follows:

Groceries (10%). Online grocery order, butcher, local shop.  Occasional alcohol if Andy and I are drinking together or having wine at home.  We try to buy sustainable and organic and so probably spend a lot more here than we could.  But we also try to buy on sale and don't each much meat.  Overall, food costs what it costs.

Andy and Rachel Fun Together (1%) We started this category last year because it was our 10 year anniversary and we both turned 40.  We had fun together, we went out to eat, we went mountain biking.  We went climbing.  It was a good budget item.

Bills (20%) Includes gas, electricity, council tax, car tax... all the bills.  about 50% of this is our mortgage, which we are trying to overpay but still have at least 5 years left.

Dining Out (2%) This is mostly cafes for lunch or coffees. Dining out is only applicable if we are eating with other members of the family - if we eat out alone or with friends it's a hobby budget item.  And if we eat out together then it's a "fun together" item.  We went out to lunch once this year (as a family) but we do go out to a coffee shop with the kids fairly often.

House (4.5%) We thought of the house things we wanted to do and then did a bunch of other things last year.  We got a new washer, we replaced our bath panel, we bought a stupidly expensive bin (trash can) because it fits the exact space and has 3 compartments for our new multi-recycling system.  We split the cost of trimming trees with our neighbour.  We got a new hoover, and we built a ground frame for our outdoor slide.  There was a lot of house expense.

Clothes (2%) We just don't buy a lot of clothes.  But also... we look like we don't buy a lot of clothes.  We sort of want to spend more here because both Andy and I can look a bit un-put-together.  I buy all the kids clothes second hand and manage a very complicated clothing rotation system but I don't have good luck second hand clothes shopping for me.

Misc (1%) This is basically photo albums, holiday cards, and stamps.

Transport (2.5%) This is petrol, parking, train or bus tickets, and some bike things for Andy's commuter bike (and his waterproof commuting jacket)

Rachel & Andy Hobbies (7%) Hey, we had a lot of hobbies and a lot of fun this year! We intentionally gave ourselves big allowances this year.  I sometimes get apple music, I sometimes get massages, I sometimes go swimming, I go to the gym, I buy new running shoes.  It was a bumper hobby year for Year of 40.  We expect to spend less in 2026.

Entertainment (1%) We usually get Disney+ or another streaming service in the winter.  This also covers entry to museums, our castle membership, and other entertaining things (theatre tickets etc)

Kids (3.75%) This is stuff just for the kids, like swim lessons, tennis lessons, if we go to soft play or something that is mainly for kids.

Child Care (33%) This is insane to me.  Here's an article about how childcare costs in the UK are the second most expensive in the world.  And here's a BBC article about how childcare in Wales is more expensive than the rest of the UK.  I realize we have 4 kids and a nanny and a bunch of childcare, but we also still barely make it work with being in work.  I feel so lucky I have a job where I can afford childcare, and I also feel that having a the resources to have a job (as a woman) shouldn't be something I have to be grateful for in 2026.  

Gifts (1.5%) This year I decided to be more generous with gifts for people.  I don't know if I feel like a better person because of it, but I do feel like I've spent less mental energy on gifts now that I'm not trying to buy to a budget (ie if I see something someone will like I buy it for them).  Or if someone at work is leaving or having a baby I'll just give them £5 or £10.

Health & Personal Care (1.75%) We have the NHS and a lot of healthcare is free (as long as you can wait 20 years) but some stuff (dentist) still costs money.  Also toothpaste and vitamins etc  go here.  And my haircuts and hair dyes because if Andy would learn how to cut hair then I wouldn't need to pay someone to do it for me. I cut everyone else's hair (although my hairdresser sometimes cuts my daughters hair for free because she is lovely) (my daughter and my hairdresser are lovely)

Holiday (8.5%) We booked A LOT of travel for 2026! We have already booked France in Feb (me and the big kids), Portugal in March/April, Austria (just Andy and big kids), Camping in July.  Also, last year we went to Sweden! Andy took Ezra to Birmingham and I took Lily to Bath overnight.  And our Christmas away was also not cheap.  But it's all fun, and I'm super excited for holiday times.  ! 

Do you budget? Do you try and stick to certain amounts of spending or do you track what you spend or neither? Do you have budget goals?  

2026 goal - build a better organisational system for my life - a bloggy rant about planning and an overfull brain.

Our garden is the perfect representation of how my current life organization feels

One of my goals for next year is to get organized.

I feel like people say all the time "oh you are so organized" and while I do somewhat agree, I also feel like it's out of necessity and effort rather than a state of being.  

Like when I am a runner or doing a half marathon I am not actually that fit, I am just a person who does a lot of running.  That's how I feel about my planning right now... I'm not necessarily good at it, I just do a lot of it.

I carry a million things in my head all the time (which might be why my head kind of reaches its limit, and then instead of being nice to my kids I use all my brain resource to plan 100 meals and packed lunches and school pick ups... and so then when someone needs something (like basic human niceness) I don't have that thing because I already used up all my things with a million other things.)

And I know this is all a bit twee because there is a literal book about how to plan your life now but it's not out in the UK until Feb so blargh.

I started reading "Rest" recently because I probably need to. (I probably need to both rest and read the book Rest)

I've long realized that one of the problems with my current way of managing the million spinning plates is that it is highly dependant on my own steady state of productivity and emotional resilience.  I am good at dropping balls and picking up balls and tossing balls and keeping things moving in the right direction while remembering that we need to add tunafish to the grocery order and also it's library day tomorrow and also holy crap am I good enough at my job to have gotten two promotions in a year and do they regret hiring me and are they going to go back to full time in office and should I just look for a new job now to avoid the slow process of being terminated...

Anyways, as I was saying, there are a lot of balls in the air and I'm not always at the 100% or 90% I want to be because no person is, and definitely no hormone driven person is.  

I know there's a billion hormones involved in having babies and nursing, but as a person who spent almost 6 years straight doing all that I am fairly sure that there are also a huge amount of hormones involved in being a 40+ year old human female.

Anyways, as I was saying, one of my goals this year is going to bo to get a better organizational system in place for all the many things that are happening. One of the cornerstones of this system will have to be TIME and a designated time to plan and review.

Andy and I are pretty good at doing this on a weekly level, but our FLOM at this point is almost a meal planning exercise with some basic weekend ideas thrown in.  

So this friday is a planning day.  I don't really know what that means yet.  And then, on that planning day, I am going to pick another planning day.   And then when I have my days I can... plan them.  

So that's a very long winded explanation of one 2026 goal - build a better organisational system to support my life being awesome that is not entirely based on me always being awesome.

5 Randoms on a friday - house stuff, twin stuff, air frier update and viral youtube from 12 years ago.

I know you all have been anxiously awaiting a curtain update.  I realize I am terrible at taking photos that match, but here are (half the) old curtains:

And here are the new sage curtains:

They need to be hemmed, but I like it better.  It's way calmer.

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Today was supposed to be the twins first morning at nursery (2.5 hours) and I was supposed to get 2.5 hours of time to myself, which I was OVER THE MOON EXCITED FOR.  Unfortunately the big kids could not get out the door for breakfast club (which closes at 8:40) and so by the time I got them to school (8:55) there wasn't enough time for me to get the twins to nursery and instead of a Rachel morning I took the twins to gymnastics.  

Luckily there is a twin charity that runs a hotline for twin parents in the UK a nice lady on the phone helped me feel slightly less depressed about missing my only teeny tiny Rachel moments.

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This evening I tidied the lounge (I was too tired to do any cleaning during twin nap and used it to lie in bed and read, which is fine and nice, but also meant the house was a depressing mess all day) and organised our christmas cards!  This brings me joy always. 

 It's been lovely to get cards from some blog-o-friends this year,  Thank you!

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I am really enjoying this air frier so far! I've used to to make really quick roast veggies for my lunches.  On Wednesday I actually meal prepped myself a pasta thing with pesto and lentils and roast aubergine and mushrooms and tuna feta and it meant I had delicious protien and veggie lunch on Wednesday and Thursday.  I also used it to make grown up dinner on Wednesday which was potatoes and salmon and leeks (you saw my leek right?).  

The food comes out good and cooks quickly.  Unfortunately we really don't have space to own one at the moment, but I am trying to figure out if I can rejig our existing food storage and maybe I can find shelf space.

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In the olden days of the internet there was a video of a talking cat on youtube which Andy and I thought was hilarious and so just 13 years later we have taught Clara to to say "Oh Long Johnson" and "Oh Long Piaaaaano" now and it cracks us up.

She also says "Six Seven" a lot.  Because my kids are jokes.

Crashing into the new year, toddler chaos, kid activities, weekends, and the ongoing search for the potentially imaginary "downtime"

I'm definitely not feeling any sort of "new year energy" - I think for me that maybe comes in August?  I wish I had it in January, but mostly I feel like new year more sleep (not a goal, a biological necessity).

Return to school and work has been... fine.  I think my brain is broken and I probably should have taken a sick day or something because I definitely did not perform at 100%, or even 30% this week.  I feel like I started to get into my work at about 11am this morning and now it's the weekend (in this context, 3 days of childcare) and I am already lacking in patience for kid shenanigans.

The 5 & 7 year old are also tired from their reentry into school.  This afternoon Lily did the classic crying walk home from afterschool club where she was freezing cold (because it was raining and freezing) but could only take one tiny step at a time (because she was tired) hence becoming more cold, and more wet, and more tired.  But - FYI - she was certainly not tired at 7:30 bedtime.  She told me.

The twins are completely thriving with our nanny.  She does all the amazing toddler focused play and chat that bores me to tears.  I am trying to figure out how to use more nanny help to destress my life, but even if we ask her to work on a weekend we still need to find something for the big kids.  Also, the dream for Rachel hobbies is quiet time in the house, which necessitates kids out of the house.  I think in the summer we will be at the age that we could perhaps ask her to take all the kids to the park... but for now there's just a lot of kids at home.  All the time.

Also, our house is a clutter chaotic mess.  We've used January sales to top up on things we need, but not yet put all these things away.  For instance, we bought new shelves for the kids rooms, but the one thing you certainly can't do with kids around is put up shelves.  

I was listening to a podcast where someone said "it gets harder as it gets easier" and I feel that is where we are at with the twins.  They are easier - they don't need constant 100% attention or they will die - but they are harder.  They need stimulation and they have opinions.  Clara does NOT want to get in her car seat sometimes and it's nearly impossible to get her in.  Aubrey will ONLY WEAR TIGHTS AND A JUMPER and I cannot seem to explain that tights are not leggings or trousers and need to be worn with a dress.  Andy is way better at doing 2 year old life, but I find it tricky.

Also, on the theme of ever diminishing "me" time, we signed up for weekend kid activities.  After being a weekend activity-free family for 7 years the kids started tennis lessons in November.  They love it.  I love them running around.  I love having a bit of structure to the weekend.  I like the other families in tennis lessons.  

BUT... our weekends now have a Saturday morning activity that is definitely not for all 4 kids.  So we split the kids, but then neither parent gets down time.

Because I am a glutton for bad scheduling, I signed the big kids up for a trial of small class swim lessons on Sundays... at 9am.  Again, single kid activity, which means neither parent gets downtime on Sunday morning either

Further decreasing the downtime is that we have double birthday parties this weekend - Ezra and Lily have one on Saturday afternoon (it's Ezra's classmate, but I asked if Lily could come for logistical reasons) and then Lily has one on Sunday afternoon (at the same place as the Saturday party.  It's a gymnastics party, which is actually a pretty decent kid party venue).

All weekend slots are now taken up with activities such that, even if it were possible for one parent to watch 4 kids, we don't have any time in which to do this.  I foresee a downtime-less weekend.

No wonder I am so tired every Monday.

Maybe also if I can't do the stuff I like, I may as well like the stuff I do.  I may as well enjoy watching my kids learn to swim and maybe have some nice parent chats at the party.  I've invited some new friends over for a play date on Saturday morning while the big kids are at tennis, they have one two year old so our two year olds can play together.  It's not as good as a long run or a bike ride or being in the house alone, but, as my dad would say, "it's better than a punch in the face, depending on who is doing the punching".

I don't really get that saying either.

Oh, and a photo to leave you with!  This is the classic online grocery order.  I ordered one leek and one zucchini.  And obviously I wanted a leek 3 times the size of the zucchini right???  What is this monster Leek?

Sunday random - cold snap, house projects, hairbrush, misc shopping.

Well we made it to Sunday everyone.  16 days off work.  I did enter the holiday with a bit of fear, and it turns out it was well founded fear because that wasn't the best holiday ever.  16 days in the winter is a lot of winter days.

I didn't get any sports in this week, I didn't do any planning, I didn't set any goals.  The house is kind of a tip (british for a mess)

I did go swimming with the kids a few times (not my favourite activity but an essential life skill) and on Saturday I took Lily to my favourite soft play with Aubrey and Clara and I enjoyed a peppermint mocha (first and last of the season, not sure I like the drink as much as I like the idea of the drink).

It's been brutally cold (for cardiff) hovering at around freezing.  There is a snow and ice warning today.  I can tell it's been cold because £30 is a lot to keep a house at 18c/65f during the day for 4 days:

Also, I did start another house project... because why not.  

Our lounge has long annoyed me.  It photographs well, but the curtains are A LOT.  They reflect the fact that we decorated in November.  

They looked good in November.  I finally found a new pair of curtains I liked enough, but it was £200.  Luckily it was down to £150 in the January sales! So I ordered the curtains in Sage.  When we hung it up it was a definite improvement, but I should have also tried Olive as the color was not perfect.  So I have now ordered the same curtains in Olive and carefully repackaged the Sage ones so we can return one... but in the interim my lounge now looks like this

Not ideal.

Also, I ordered a new hairbrush! Here is my current brush, was which gifted to me by my grandma when I was in high school:

I spent a LONG time looking at brushes.  I think the one that is most similar is this:

But that seemed super expensive and I couldn't face paying for shipping.  I also thought maybe a round ceramic brush would be a good idea?  Maybe the type of brush grandma bought when I was 12 isn't definitely the right type for the rest of my life?

So I bought this one:

And this one:

In unrelated news... We are currently borrowing a Air Frier.

I am not sure what to do with this air frier.  Andy used it to reheat a mince pie and it cooked it very fast! I am not sure we will keep it since we need counter space, but before we give it back i want to try cooking some things in it.  So far my ideas are

• Something with Tofu
• Aubergine/Eggplant thing?
• Salmon

Does anyone have an love an air frier and can send me your favorite recipe you use it for?  Is this like asking "What should I put in a slow cooker"? 

I'm back in work tomorrow, which I am feeling OK about.  I think it will be a hard day because the twins have gotten very used to having me around and are in a definitely mommy phase.  The big kids have started sleeping late.  I'm not looking forward to getting out the door, or the crying.  I'm not feeling at all rested after using almost 2 weeks of annual leave.  But whether I'm rested or enthusiastic or not, work starts at 8am and I'll have to remind myself that everyone probably feels much the same.