- The IKEA bags had our carseats (4)
- There are also 2 travel bedrails
- And the backpack Andy is wearing
- And the pram I am pushing.
We somehow managed to explore the famous Quinta De Regaleria in Sintra
I promise, I'm not becoming a daily blogger. I have been getting up earlier (5:30am) and blogging appears to be the easiest thing that is both nice for me and OK to get fully interrupted by the chaos of potential kid mornings.
During our weekend planning Andy and I intentionally made this weekend a "family fun" weekend. We have had a lot of family arguing and not-fun recently and we decided it was time for some fun. On Saturday morning Ezra had his last tennis lesson and I was planning to take the girls to the library and park to ride bikes, then we could all meet up for coffee.
One of our children threw a massive wobbler about this. There was probably over an hour of crying by 8:30am. One of our children was late for tennis, and instead of meeting at the park I dragged the twins out of the house at 10:30 (this is late to leave for stuff) and we went to a local museum to look at animals.
I was catastrophically annoyed about the morning. I am not a martyr mum but we are basically becoming martyr parents. Nowhere on our weekend plan was there anything resembling intentional grown up fun for Andy or me. No gym, no bike, no personal time. Yes, kids at parks is "fun" but my exercise is basically 0 these days and it seems like it should be possible to fit 90 minutes of individual sport into a weekend.I feel like on this blog I do a fair amount of cute photos and then some "oh this is hard" chat and then more "we went to france!" chat.
I don't really see many families with 4 kids in our age range that I can compare(?) myself to, so maybe I'm just doing it badly, or maybe I'm doing it well, or maybe it's like a tough mudder race and there is no bad or good because who would even want to do that? (lots of people... but it's morning and I can't think of a better analogy)
There is a mom at school with 3 kids, girl (8), girl (5), boy (1.5) and she always seems so calm with her kids walking next to her and not being chaos. Other than that... I don't know many 4 kids families or even 3 kid families.
Anyways, let me invite you to join my play date yesterday!
A friendly aquantence had asked to meet up in the park after school. I like her and haven't seen for a long time. It was Friday, it was sunny. Why not?
3:00 Twins were not happy to be up from nap, Aubrey was very sad. I threw snack and drinks in the pram, got the twins in the pram, picked up the kids from school. Walked to the park.
3:45 Got to the park. There were lots of kids there. Aubrey was still sad. Clara was curious. Ezra and Lily ran off and I couldn't see them. Friend showed up! Friends mum helped push Clara on the swing. Aubrey was sad.
3:50 Lily said she needed a wee. Friend and Lily went off for a wee in the woods.
3:55 Aubrey started yelling "wee wee potty" and I realized she had pooped AND I had forgotten the nappy bag.
I asked a stranger for a nappy and he said he didn't have any.
I saw another friend with a 1 year old and managed to squeeze Aubrey into a size 4 nappy and clean up her teeny tiny poo while she stood on a bench at the park.
I caught up with friend's mum for 2 minutes.
4:00 Lily and friend came back and Lily said she needed a poo RIGHT NOW.
I asked friend if she wanted to come back to my house so that Lily could do a poo. She agreed (probably because this play date had literally lasted 15 minutes so far)
4:15 We got back to my house and Lily did do a poo, and then Aubrey was sad and vomited on the floor. I tried to clean it up quickly while friend's mom was outside
Lily went to find friend to show her the giant poo. Because... kids. I didn't catch this because of aforementioned vomit.
I told Lily and Friend to go outside and play. They did. Friend's mum watched everyone outside while I cleaned up Aubrey and got her new clothes.
4:20 I noticed our neighbour I've never met had a girl who was looking through our garden and wanted to come play. I invited her in. She played with the kids in the garden while I tried to talk with friend's mum.
4:25 Clara fell down and broke her plastic bike in two and started crying.
4:30 All the big kids ran in to neighbours garden.
4:40 Friend said she had to go (which was the right time) so we yelled into neighbours garden to get kids back.
4:45 I couldn't get over to say goodbye because Clara had gone to the back of the garden and was trying to climb in neighbours garden and I was carrying Audrey
I managed to carry both Clara and Aubrey to the gate to let friend out and say goodbye.
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So that's probably the end of that acquaintanceship right?
I do really value being social and so have tried to keep different friendships and acquaintanceships going throughout these young kids years, but I'm thinking maybe it's just not a good idea. Maybe my family in its current state is just not world ready, and the best thing to do is just not try. Maybe 4 kids is just not something that people should have to engage with so closely.
Chat GPT drafted me this nice text I can send to the remaining few people who have invited me/us to do things:
I have felt good this week. The sun came out. It might literally be that all my mental ennui is due to cloudy weather. Would I be happy all the time in a more temperate climate? Maybe I need to move to the South of France?
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Today I have 2 extra hours of childcare. I decided not to make plans for the time, but to just do whatever stuff I wanted to do. I spent some time working on photo albums - Aubrey and Clara both had 7 photos in Feb so their updates were easy. I am saving Ezra and Lily and Family album for later since it includes the France trip and there are A LOT of photos.
While in snapfish I decided to order the 2025 Album I've never finished/printed. I added some missing text and then bought it! And I got the best discount I've ever seen - 60%. I thought 50% was the best, but now I'll know to hang on for 60% in the future
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Photo albums are a good reflection of how much things change between summer and winter. Winter just... sucks. I am not sure what can be done about it... Hygge is all well and good but it's not enough to carry from October to March. I realize Fall is in there too... but I feel like fall is about a month long and then winter is 5 months. I think bears have it right and next year I should plan to hibernate for all of January and Feb and come out on the first sunny day of March
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I can tell other people are also coming out of hibernation now, I've had texts off people I haven't seen for ages inviting us to play dates, which is nice. This afternoon we are meeting up with a friend of Lilah's who I haven't seen since October. It sometimes feels that our October Pumpkin Party is the closing ceremony of our social life. Maybe we need an Easter themed Opening Ceremony?
Getting up early is Working. I've started setting my alarm for 5:30am. Kids sleep until at least 6am (usually 6:30) and my mornings have started to feel longer. Yesterday I went to the office, which meant I left at 7:25am, but I had already had 2 hours at home. I didn't feel rushed and chaos, although I did forget my phone charger and bring headphones instead, and I forgot my water bottle, so it wasn't an ideal get out.
I did wear my new blazer and thrifted dress! But my selfie skills are super sub par. I have a whole head, I promise.
Not getting enough sleep is Not Working I know this is the other side of an early morning and I should be going to bed at 9 but kids finish bedtime at 8:00 and then dishes and house and stuff means I don't feel like going to bed at 9. I've been falling asleep around 10:30, which is 7 hours of sleep, and slightly under the 7.5 I sort of need to function.Budgeting for our house stuff is Not Working. Every year in January we make a list of house things we want to buy and then every year by March we seem to have bought totally different house stuff. Here was our planned costs for the year:
You may notice the Cleaner line item. Having a cleaner is distinctively Not Working. Maybe my standards are too high. Maybe good cleaners are totally full so when someone can fit me in it means they are not a good cleaner. The last cleaner combined bleach and chlorine to get the toilets clean. Apparently that is a "cleaning hack" that also produces chlorine gas and is super dangerous. The cleaner before was expensive and the house wasn't clean. I'm thinking about trying a service (not an individual), for a spring "deep clean" or also about just having a messy house for longer and/or realizing that I can hoover and dust in 2 years when the twins are in school.
There are a bunch of little things that I would say are Not Working (sport, ability to focus in work, fun nice family time on the weekends) but also overall some subset of these things are Working (I do get gym buddy once or twice a week, I can sometimes focus on things and intend to, we are trying to build more family fun into the weekend and it will be easier when the sun comes out) so overall, it's all fine.
And, to sign off in a very british way... after a long awful dark crappy cold wet winter... this weather is definitely WORKING
My house is too full.
I know I'm supposed to lean into minimalism to help clear the clutter in mind and space or whatever but I very much don't want to minimize the number of people in this house and people seem to come with stuff and there is stuff everywhere.
Did you know British houses generally don't have closets? The house we live in is 1950s and it has no closets. We built one "built in" into the twins room but otherwise... everything is in the room. No doors to hide anything.
I dream of a closet.
When we went to France both Ezra and Lily fell out of their beds almost every night. I asked why and Ezra noted that his bed has sides. I sort of forgot, but he has been sleeping on one of these toddler beds (although it is fully extended)
So we went on Gumtree and bought a twin bed for his room with no sides because it is a normal bed. It's also 10cm wider and now we are moving around the rest of his room. So it looks like this at present(Well, the bed is now made, and the hoover gone, but still... it's chaos)Can I do a "looking forward' post when we are 40% of the way through the month already? Why not - I make the rules!
In March I am excited about...
Date night Okay, this one already happened. We had our nanny come babysit on a Saturday and she did twin bedtime AND one big kid bedtime and another big kid stayed with my mom and it was amazing to not do bedtime. Andy and I had Wine and Pizza and stayed out until 10:30. It was fun.
Book Club A friend of mine started a book club and I love it. We read The Women for this month's book club (which also already happened because I am so late posting this). I enjoyed the book and the discussion. Is it really about friendship? I'm not too sure.
Massage I have a massage person I adore. She lives around the corner and she is always booked up and I started booking myself a massage ever 6 weeks or so. I know this is super 1%er but also, it's the same price as drinks or dinner out and I enjoy it so much and rarely ever go out for drinks or dinner.
Dinner with ex-colleagues I still meet up with some of my colleagues from the job I left in 2022 and we are going out to dinner this month and I'm looking forward to catching up with them
Theatre For Mothers Day (which is this Sunday in the UK) I am going to London to see The Lion King with my mom and Ezra and Lily! It is going to be a BIG day - London is 2.5 hours by train from me - but I think it will be memorable and fun. The kids are going to ride on a double decker bus! And see London things! They have only ever been to the train stations before in transit so it will be awesome to walk around London with them for a few minutes.
Going to the Office I haven't been to the Bath office since January and I have two Office days this month and I'm looking forward to seeing people (and wearing my new blazer!)
Holiday adventure It's Easter Half Term soon and I'm off to Portugal! That's really the highlight of course. More details soon - exciting times!
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There are a lot of exciting things happening in March. I am feeling very out of routine, even though part of what put me out of routine is awesome fun things that I want to do. Like going on date night, or out to dinner, or to London. I know these are far more memorable than whether I ate decent food and did decent sport. And I also know that going to london for a day does not preclude me from doing sport for two weeks. But... I get out of routine easy, and then I am out of routine.
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Also, there's some media stuff I'm excited about. For instance, I really enjoyed Writers and Lovers
Now I'm reading The Witches Guide to Magical Inkeeping. I have read one other book by Sangu Mandanna and I think her writing style is supposed to be magical and cute but I find it cute and boring. I'm still reading it thoughWe got home from France last Tuesday. We left Arles at 7:30am, took a train to from Arles to Marseille, and then flew from Marseille to Heathrow. We landed at Heathrow at 12:30, got food from Marks and Spencer, and then caught the tube to Paddington and the train to Cardiff and the bus home and arrived at 5pm
Some of us were very tired.At the end of the night I helped clean up, because I've apparently decided to become a PTA person. Oops.
Then... the weekend.
Saturday - big kids went to tennis in the morning, then had a double play date in the afternoon
The girl play date was so flipping cute! The boy one... not as much.France was amazing
I have been to France 3 times. Twice to Paris, both times a bit "meh". Am I allowed to say that? I'm saying that.
Once to the Loire Valley. Mistakes were made on that trip - it was holidays in France, everything was closed. I was pregnant and could not eat cheese or wine. It was a bit.. Meh.
I planned this trip a few months ago - I used ChatGPT to find a location most of my family could meet. It needed to be accessible from Chicago, San Francisco, Rennes (France), and London and had temperatures above 10 degrees and it picked out south of France. A friend of mine had visited Arles last year and had an amazing time so I decided to follow in her footsteps. Quite literally - I stayed in the same house.
(actually, short aside, I booked another town that had a cheaper AirBnB, and a week before we flew out I read about the town and realized it was possibly not nice at all and decided to rebook the AirBnB my friends had instead)
The big kids and I stayed overnight at Gatwick airport because we had early morning flights. We flew into Marseilles airport and then took a bus and a train to Arles. Arles is a cute little town in the Provence region.
I would like to someday do a full recap of the trip BUT the short recap is:
We ate a lot of Pain au chocolat, cheese, and fresh bread
We visited a super cool art building with a two story indoor slide:
There are amazing beaches nearby and it was sunny and 19c/70f one of the days
The house had an hot tub!
The kids had ice cream and rode a carousel at least half the days
We saw flamingos! A lot of flamingos!And a Roman colosseumHello internets!
I am not disappeared
This week was busy - I had another work trip to London & Leeds, which was good, but also this time some of my colleagues (who I like) came as well and so instead of eating dinner alone and sleeping early I went out to dinner and spent time with people and I am now feeling person-burned-out. Which isn't great because generally I like people, and I rarely ever see these colleagues in person, but I am just... tired.
On my first night my colleague asked me if I wanted to meet for breakfast and I told her I was going out to a cafe to do some journaling and planning and I would see her in the office. I think she gets it and wasn't offended. I don't get a lot of me time, and this is my "me time"
I went to my favorite cafe in the world and had my favourite breakfast and coffee and played with my planner and it was nice.
Also on this work trip, I got to go to a building while it was being built in London and go up to the 37th floor on one of those goods lifts on a building site and it was super fun and also a bit scary and also mostly amazing. I am an office person but I work for a company that works for companies that do building stuff and so they organized this trip as an all in day adventure.Also I will share this blurry photo of my new work outfit. :Hello! Happy Monday!
Sometimes Andy and I practice answering the question "how was your weekend" on Sundays so that we can be prepared to not sound insane if we get asked in work.
"How was your weekend?" Andy will ask me. "oh, it was good, did a bit of house stuff, went for a walk, and just had some quiet time at home" I'll practice saying.
How was the weekend?
On Saturday morning it was cold and rainy and I decided we were not doing tennis and instead doing some hanging out at home. My mom took Ezra on a mini adventure, and Aubrey, Clara, and Lily hung out at home while we did some house projects. For instance... photo mounting project:
My name is Rachel and I have a Coat Closet Confessional.
I own a lot of coats.
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| Entryway Stairs. 13 of these are mine. 2 are Andy's |
Not just coats... Jacket. Jumpers. Fleece things, zip up hoodies.
The problem is that I have, or have had, a lot of hobbies requiring specific outdoor gear.
In the olden days, before outdoor hobbies, I owned a lot of jackets for the sake of fashion but they all served the same purpose really. I still have some of these, but the jacket clutter has grown.
I think I have somewhere between 15 and 20 Coats/Jackets/Zipper Jumpers (ie, outerwear... not including sweaters or things I can wear to work).
I've looked at them a lot and thought "I should get rid of some". But also... which some? All of them have potential uses.
I decided to look at it the other way. Now, one of my goals this year is to do a Coat Audit.
Rather than looking at everything I own and deciding what to keep, I'm going to think about everything I do and decide what outwear I need to do all these things, and *then* work backwards to figure out what I should keep or not keep or maybe I need a different jacket that does more than one thing?
Things that have avoided the cull for years are as follows:
Green fleece with a broken zipper:
It's my favourite colour. It's at least 15 years old. I wore it to the Cardiff half because I figured I could use it to the start to keep warm and then throw it away enroute (they collect jackets for charity at these things, which is pretty cool). But then it wasn't that cold so I decided to just leave it with my bag and take it home after.Green jacket that is neither waterproof nor warm:
I got it from Macys in... 2005. And it looked great when I wore it with skinny jeans and boots but also I don't wear either of those anymore, and I actually can't remember when I wore this one last.I also don't wear it because I own this green jacket that is waterproof and warm and I use it a lot right now for being outside in terrible british weather: