I have now completed two full childcare days since I found out we don't have childcare for a few weeks.
Wednesday was OK, I took them to toddler gymnastics and then to a park after nap.
Thursday was... dull. I realize that some people are stay at home parents and just do toddler things all the time but I do not understand how those people do it. Twin toddler are cute an funny but by 10am my brain felt like it was rotting into oblivion. Maybe I am just succumbing to hustle culture and I need to learn to slow down and do nothing and enjoy the moments etc etc...
I will post a DITL post about Thursday another day. It looked cute on paper.
The good thing was that by 8pm I was completely exhausted so I went to bed and then got up at 4:30am so I could do some exercise before another twin childcare day.
I like to measure life on a scale of Good to Covid
Ezra was 18 months old at the start of covid, and Andy and I both worked 32 hours a week at the time. We split up days as follows:
5am-7am: One parent free time for hobbies, other parent sort house and life admin.
7am-1pm, One parent watched Ezra. Other parent worked
12:30pm Ezra went down for nap
12:30pm-6:30pm Morning work parent watched Ezra (hoping he stayed asleep to 1pm!) and other parent worked.
9pm-9pm: One parent free time for hobbies, other parent sort house and life admin.
9pm - everyone asleep
So really, right now is definitely more good than covid because we at least aren't trying to also work while watching twins at home? But still, I don't know how we lived like that.
I also compare things on a scale of Good to Newborn Twins. Right now is far easier than newborn twins.
BUT... it should be easier because we tried as hard as possible to get all our childcare needs met and also the twins are 2.5 and not newborn so there is no reason I should have to spend all day watching them put sticks into puddles and tell me they are wet. I know they are wet. A nursery teacher could tell you they are wet.
I have thought of a million ways to cope with the next few weeks but unfortunately really it's just going to be a bit of a struggle. Andy and I are cobbling together split workweeks for next week and the week after. I have emailed the twin's Friday nursery to ask if they could go any other mornings in the next 2 weeks. Big kid's school finishes on 18th July and I'll probably take 2 weeks off after that. And hopefully our brilliant nanny will be back after then.
I told my brother our predicament and he is flying in from France tomorrow to help, which is awesome. Even if he can't totally watch the twins (honestly, I don't think anyone really wants to look after nappy age twins) he CAN make it way more fun for me to hang out with twins and also hopefully give me some downtime in my twin days.
Also, I am particularly worried that when given the opportunity to go to work, my brain will not be able to focus, and then I will shame spiral out of my workday because it's very hard to PIVOT ON immediately from 3 days off for 2 days of productive normal work and then straight back into kid life for 3 more days
The only way through is through. It's cute but it is a lot.
Cute but a lot just about sums up so much of the little years of parenting.
ReplyDeleteI appreciated something Nicole sent me from a book a few months ago. There is the "Instagram" version of a day, and then the lived reality. There can be many very fun experiences and it can, as you say, look fun on paper. But there are the million little things that have to happen in there (prepping a bag to go to the park, changing nappies, dealing with dirty floors, putting on a load of laundry, EVERYONE STILL NEEDS TO EAT and that requires shopping for + preparing food and then cleaning up).
I'm glad your brother is coming to provide some distraction and an extra set of adult hands. And yay for park fun.
Where is Belle when you need her??? (She's actually babysitting all week next week, so she's going to be knee-deep in childcare, too... slightly more glamorous though as she gets paid for it.)
Thank you Elisabeth! I know you are very aware of how A LOT it all is. Definitely easier with another set of hands.
DeleteSeriously I need to find welsh Belle... I may have found one but she's going to University in the fall.... but I'm getting closer at least.
Everyone does still need to eat. Soooo rude.
That’s great that your brother is coming to help. I was a stay at home mom for a few years and there were a lot of boring parts. Maybe you can meet up with other families at the park plus you’ll have your brother with you for a while. Some adult conversation to break up the puddle talk went a long way for me.
ReplyDeleteI’m glad it is not as bad as Covid or newborn twins. Hope things go as well as possible for this stretch.
It's definitely not covid or newborns, yay. I imagine if one committed to being a SAHM for a few years you could balance out the boring bits with some really fun bits too. Having my brother here is a win for being less bored and also he's a good cleaner-upper too. Fingers crossed this week goes well and less jarring than last week
DeleteIt is much easier to be a SAHM if you have a regular schedule with it... I did it for years, and loved it (then went back to college teaching after that)..but I had a whole slew of friends that I did it with. Like having your brother there -- having other adults with you makes it fun. Good luck...
ReplyDeleteAhh Ann I am sure this is the magic! If I felt like I was really doing SAHM would totally make some great friends to do it with. Since it's a weird stop-gap in my normal routine I don't really connect with the SAHM crew as much. I have a few friends who are off different days but they don't have two year olds, and it's hard even to SAHM activities with friends of different ages. Tricky. I am glad you loved it and super cool that you went back to teaching after too.
DeleteI am so glad your brother is able to come and help out. It's hard to live so far away from family and have nobody to rely on when the childcare plan fails. I think taking it a week at a time is a good strategy, but yeah, it sounds very hard.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I am feeling much better this week although I haven't had any childcare days yet this week. I'm hoping that since I've been able to plan for it a bit it will be less... jarring.
DeleteBless your awesome brother
ReplyDeleteI know! He took Clara to the park yesterday! And vacuumed our house!
DeleteCute but alot, yes well said. I also felt completely befuddled by the toddler years. They require so much watching! And entertaining! And LOOKING! And redirecting! How wonderful that your brother is able to join you so you can tag team the kids AND have some adult stimulation.
ReplyDeleteSo much watching! Yes having another human adult around is so much more fun than endless two year old time.
Delete