Line a day journal and a 2024 goal

Today is the end of my 3rd year of line a day journaling.  

Here is the entry from 2021: I am so glad I'm not pregnant and no newborns.  First time since 2016/2017... 2022 will be better than 2021, and 2021 was better than 2020

And 2022: 2022 was better than 2021... 2023 should be an interesting year.  Is there a 3rd kid? am I that nuts? I love sleep

In case you wonder, I do sleep about 7 hours a night now, just in 2-3 hour chunks with 1-2 hours of awake time inbetween.  The sleep is actually not the worst bit of this newborn twin thing, I think the cyring is.  It's impossible to soothe two babies. I chose not to quantify how much crying I experience right now, but this is the last crying baby experience I will have! The babies are currently two months old, which means there's one more month of the worst times before they maybe start to get better?  

Andy has a theory that even though 12 weeks is when babies start to get better, 12 weeks is the lowest point for new parents because you realize just how exhausted you are from 12 weeks of babies.

If you've had babies, do you remember the first 12 weeks fondly? and do you remember experiencing the first 12 weeks fondly?  Those are two separate questions.

I have a coupe of low key goals for next year, but the one I am most excited about is that by December 2024 I want to only own clothes that fit.  No more maternity clothes, no more in-between clothes.  No more nursing clothes. Just clothes that fit me, as I am in December 2024.  

I have been saving all sizes of pregnancy and post pregnancy since 2018 and I am so excited to see all if it leave my house by December 2024.  I can also get rid of jeans that are too big or too small.  I want to open my closet to see all of my clothes, and have everything in it look and feel good.

Going in the right order and decluttering and tiny babies.

I really like the Lazy Genious Podcast.  I enjoyed the book too - great principles to go by.  It made me realize another reason I struggle with babytimes - I am generally really good at following her rule of "go in the right order".  But, with babies, it's so hard to figure out the right order.  Last night I left two almost asleep babies with Andy while I came downstairs to finish the house.  The "right order" would be cleaning lounge (easy), Dining room (middle-easy) then kitchen (because lots of things from the lounge and dining room need to go elsewhere, including the kitchen.  However, what if I only have 10 minutes?  The kitchen is arguably the  most important (because the dishwasher needs running and food needs putting away) but doing that first and then having time to do the lounge and dining room will make the whole process take longer.  Also, what if I want a snack?  Previously the right order was clean then snack, but now snack trumps clean... or does it?  

As another example - our house is currently exploding with stuff.  I need to get some clothes to the baby bank (donation center for baby things) to drop off, but every week the babies grow out of more things.  I also need to get the size 2-3 clothes out of Lilah and Isaac's room as Lilah is definitely in 3-4.  The right order would be to declutter first, then put their new/next size in.  But I do not have the ability to go to the baby bank. So things are coming into our house faster than they are leaving.  I do not like it.  

I did realize that we have 1 large box of each of the following:

0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-9 months, 9-12 months, 12-18 months, 18-24 months, 2-3 years, 3-4years, and 4-5 years.  The good news is that in one year we should be done with FOUR BOXES and only have created one more (5-6).  Horray!

Speaking of the right order, I am currently posting while Nora is asleep in the pram (fitfully, and requiring strategic rocking) and Audrey is in a wrap on me (because she never naps and is soooo tired).  In the time it took to post this I could have unpacked their 3-6 month clothes into their next-size drawer.  Or, Nora could have woken up while I was upstairs and then I wouldn't have clothes done or a blog post written.  

It's almost time for babies to wake up.  Perhaps the right order for now is watching more Ugly Betty while rocking the pram.

Goals time! a 2023 year in review

I've managed to do a tiny amount of thinking about 2024 goals, mostly because I am enjoying imagining what I want my life to be like next December.  

Last year I had a lot of goals, and looking back I achieved many of them.  I'm not going to run down every one here (there were a lot!) but let's look at some big wins and misses shall we?

Wins:

• We finally wrote our will! We haven't yet told everyone in the will the details of the will, or where to find the will, but we wrote it.  Goal for 2024 is to actually send the email to everyone.
• I ran a 5k. It was very slow, but I did it
• I got British citizenship
• We threw a party for our friends (it was Isaac's 5th birthday, but it counts!)
• I continued blogging
• I watched two movies (goal was to watch 1) - Glass Onion and the Weird Al story
• I read 60 books (goal was 50). A lot of my book reading happened in 3rd tri pregnancy when i couldn't sleep between 11pm and 4am every day, so although this seems like an accomplishment I don't feel the need to repeat it, at least in the way it was achieved this year)
• Send holiday cards was the goal - we did birth announcements instead (that counts, right?)
• I continued the kids photo albums and the family photo albums.  I started the Audrey & Nora albums - for at least the first year of life the twins are getting the same album.  Sorry twin blog readers if this doesn't seem fair, but they don't really do much without each other right now.
• I continued our monthly budget tracking

Not yets/Not evers:

• Potty train Lilah - this was going well until Isaac started school and we had twin babies.  She knows how to use the toilet, and she uses the toilet in nursery, but at home she likes nappies and we are going with it for now (she still uses the toilet for the important thing... three year olds have higher standards than babies
• Regular Yoga practice.  I did some yoga, then got pregnant. I think I would be a better person if I did more yoga, but I'm not sure this is the year of yoga either.
• Learn more about ACT.  I got some books on this and then I didn't bother reading them. I think I would rather read around it than actually learn it.
• See a show. We did not do this.  I was too pregnant at the end of the year, and I have to both find the show and find the childcare.  Sadly I'm not sure 2024 will be the year for this either.  Someday!
• Visit 4 castles.  I don't think this happened.  It turns out I like the idea of visiting castles more than I like visiting them.  Also, we only have 3 interesting castles around us, and I end up visiting the same ones all the time.  Someday I will go on a big castle tour with Isaac to further away and more interesting castles.
• Read one professional development book a month.  This is a lot of professional development.  I did not do this, but I read some.  

I had some major wins this year, and some minor "maybe later/maybe nevers".  The citizenship and will are two pretty major accomplishments - both happened early in the year.  Obviously having twin babies is a pretty big accomplishment as well... but I think surviving 8 weeks with baby twins is a bigger accomplishment than actually giving birth to them. 

Christmas morning random thoughts

7am appears to be my blogging time. I’ll take it!

(Isaac putting together his Hannukah Lego)

It’s Christmas morning and I am currently in bed with Nora sleeping on me and Audrey grumbling (but I think sleeping) in the bedside cot. Since the horror of two nights ago the babies have slept pretty well for two nights… so well that last night their second feed moved from 5am to 6:15 which put it a bit too close to their wake up (7:30) but too far from their wake up time to actually let them wake up. Hence… being stuck. And writing a blog.

And yes, I am aware that I might seem like a loony tune with my talk of baby wake up times and schedules. This is not something I did with either Isaac or Lilah. But I have too many kids and too many babies to be schedule-less so we have a defined start to babies day and a defined routine to their day. Otherwise it work be chaos… or even more chaos. If that’s possible.

For whatever reason this is the first Christmas where we are really doing Christmas things. I blame Lilah - she is far too observant. When Isaac was 3 he wanted grapes and banana for Christmas. We went to Sainsbury’s and bought them both. He had other presents and the first thing he opened was a book, which caused him to start wailing because he wanted grapes and banana. We directed him to grapes and banana and he opened it, then wanted to eat it right away. 

This year Lilah is 3 and she has told us that she wants Santa to bring her a baby dolls house and a scooter. We are in the interesting position of trying to decide what our family Christmas traditions will be. I don’t want to do Santa - it’s not something I grew up with. I grew up with only Hannukah. I love Christmas lights and trees and the festivities of Christmas but the actual day has little meaning to me. Andy didn’t do Santa as a kid either, but he did not go to the same nursery and school the kids did. Nursery and school are very into the Santa thing.

My idea is to tell the kids that Santa only visits people who haven’t had 8 presents for Hannukah already. I think that’s very fair. 

The kids have a couple of small things under the tree - a megasketcher for lilah and Lego for Isaac, plus 2 games we found at the charity shop. Hopefully we can open some presents this morning but after I get downstairs, as much as cuddling babies is nice I’m a bit sad to miss the kids first cognisant Christmas morning.

There is always next year! This year has felt like A trial for next years Christmas. I’ve been able to do so little. Next year I want to eat far more mince pies. I want to do more Christmas kid art, go to Christmas fayre and tree lightings and carols.  I want to see more friends. I want to look at more Christmas lights. 

I want to be remembering baby time with the glow of not experiencing it. And hopefully I’ll be enjoying the chaos of two 14 month olds (omg we are going to have to fortify our house) and a 4 and 6 year old. I think next year will be fun

A Night in the Life

Inspired by Birchies “day in the life posts” I present, a night in the life of 7 week old twins:

6:30pm Give babies their final feed. burp, change nappies, put on white noise... settle to sleep. 

7:15 - Go downstairs to start cleaning up from dinner and a quick tidy for the day. We had soup, bread and cheese for dinner and found out Isaac likes tomato soup!  Yay. Also, I love our dishwasher.

7:30 - Babies are already up again so Andy goes upstairs to settle.

7:45 - I finish downstairs and brush teeth. Check on Andy who has started the evening bottle. Help with nappy changes and burps until babies almost asleep

8:15 - head upstairs to guest bed and fall asleep super quick. 

12:30 - Andy comes to get me. Feed babies and burp and rock back to sleep.

1:45 babies are still awake (it’s very hard to settle two babies at once) so I wake up Andy for help. Andy comes to help settle

2:30 Andy puts an asleep Nora in the cot. Audrey is still upset so I continue soothing. Andy goes back to bed

3:00 I get both twins asleep in their cot.

3:30 both babies wake up - it's time for their next feed. Fun fact - baby feeds are timed from the start of one feed to the start of the next and 3 hours is a pretty age appropriate gap but pretty brutal too. I eat a mini cliff peanut bar to keep awake while feeding (and because they are delicious).  I have peanut butter ones and macadamia nut ones.  Peppermint are my favourite but they have caffeine, which I don't need at 3:30am.

4:15 Finish burps, nappy changes, and settle babies back in their cot. I fall asleep quickly and have weird dreams.

4:45 Audrey is awake. She needs a #2 but can’t make it happen. She is very distressed, and I do understand.  It's a rough situation. I eat a natures valley granola bar while soothing her because food is the next best thing to sleep.

5:15 - I get Audrey back to sleep. I have very weird dreams until...

6:00 - Isaac comes in my room and says he had an accident. He climbs in my bed and I say “shhh” hoping he will fall asleep.

6:10 - Lilah comes in my room looking for Isaac. I take them both back to their room. I can’t find any wet oh Isaac’s bed so it may have been a dream? I tell both of them they need to sleep until 6:20 - I can hear Audrey crying again next door

6:30 - I get Audrey settled on me. I don’t seep with babies on me so I watch some ugly betty. I also know Isaac and Lilah will be awake any minute so no point trying to sleep again now/

6:45 - Andy is awake and I give him a rundown of my night and take some aspirin for the headache I unsurprisingly developed overnight.

7:00 - I decide to write a blog post. Audrey is fast asleep on me. Nora is huffing and puffing in the cot. And at 7:30 it’s time to wake up the twins and start our day.

The darkest nights are pretty dark. I keep an phone note called “the night is dark and full of terrors” where I write down nights like last night. That’s not every night for me.. that was worse than recent… but I will be very happy to be on the other side of this baby phase.

Also, how did I not watch Ugly Betty before? That show is great. I love so many of the cast! I know there’s better English than that sentence but forgive me, I am tired.

Here’s the night gremlins looking less gremlin:

Plans, Routines, Adjustments

Today we are 7 week into this twin baby thing.  

I was told that twin families are exceptionally organized and I thought "hey, I can do that!" but some of the things we've had to change actually involve less organization.  Here are some recent changes:

FLOM: we don't have evenings anymore (I feed babies at 6pm, come downstairs to help with clear up at 7, and go to bed at 8) so we do a truncated FLOM on Thursdays.  We also use FLOM to review everything we can't in the week since we so rarely get a chance to casually sort out anything midweek.  So the Any Other Business topics can range from "should I buy reduced sugar ketchup or regular ketchup (sweeteners? Sugar? chemicals? akk!)" to "What is the plan for Christmas"  

Lunches: Isaac loved packed lunches.  I think it's partly due to the hip Planet Box lunch boxes we bought, and partially because school lunches included vegetables.  In Wales they brought in free school lunches for all primary age kids this year, but when Isaac requested packed lunch we started packing lunch in the  morning.  Turns out, it was too much.  Last week I told Isaac he was having school lunch now.  Not packing lunches has massively improved our morning

Hummus: we eat a lot of hummus. I like to make my own because it's super easy and fairly cheap.  Tahini, Chickpeas, Garlic, Lemon Juice, Salt, Olive Oil.  I could make hummus in less than 5 minutes.  I didn't mind if the kids ate it by the spoonful.  However... it was too much. So now we buy store bought hummus.  It's got a few more ingredients.  It's ok.

Laundry: Everything goes in at 40 now.  Everything gets tumble dried.  If it doesn't survive... oh well.  I only wear breastfeeding tops anyways now and this is the last time I'll need them and I only plan to wear them for another few months.  We do 1-2 loads a day (1 if by myself, 2 if I have help).  I don't have time for sorting or hanging.

Meal Plan: We don't plan meals to days anymore.  Every day is something from the freezer (We are still eating food provided by friends, and our meal box from Cook), and once a week Andy *maybe* makes something like pasta carbonara or scrambled eggs.  Kids are eating the following on rotation for every meal:
Starch: Potato/Pasta/Bread.
Protein: Fish Fingers/Chicken Nuggets/Beans/Eggs. 
Other: Fruit.

Hair: I'm not going to even comment on my current hair situation. Lilah captured it pretty well in this drawing:

(also, proofreading.  I wasn't great before, but thanks for sticking with my atrocious typo-heavy blog!)

Saturday rambling

I finished two books recently.  The audio of Tom Lake was AMAZING.  Meryl Streep is amazing.  I'm not sure if I'm biased beause it's recent or because it is all the rage on the internets right now but Tom Lake is one of my favourite books this year and definitely my favorite audiobook.

I also read Yellowface.  Interesting read.  Not the best thing ever but certainly thought provoking.  Good characters too.  I'm wondering if the Poppy War trilogy is worth reading too?  Also how is the author (RF Kuang) only 27 years old??  Cambridge, Yale, and Oxford Educated.  Some people are a different calibre of human.

I'm now at 59 books for the year and almost done with American Royals IV so this will be a 60 book year.  I wonder what next year will bring?

I'm starting to cultivate my TBR list for 2024.  Loving all the best-of lists that people are posting.

Also, it's a weekend.  This morning I left the twins with Andy and went to the store with Lilah to buy nappies.  They grew into size 1 slowly and out quickly.  I think this is what babies do.. move quickly and then slowly.  It wasn't the most exciting outing but it was great to get away from babies for a while.  Two babies every day is a lot of babies for a lot of days.

Tomorrow Isaac and Lilah have a playdate at a friend's house and Andy and I are home with twins. We could do anything??!  Well, anything within a 3 hour cycle of feeds.

Isaac is currently using star stickers and washi tape to decorate a nappy box.  Lilah is driving a lego car across a twin feeding pillow.  Andy took the twins out for a walk.  And I got a blog post written!

Better than yesterday, when kids were chaos and Dolly (Lilah) knocked over the Christmas tree.  This is why we got a small tree and decorated it with cheap plastic decorations of no sentimental value:

Happy Saturday!