Farewell to November - NaBloPoMo

It's the last day of November - and I've made it almost all the way through NaBloPoMo!  29/30 isn't bad at all.  It was amazing luck to find San's blog when I did, and I have "met" so many awesome bloggers in the last 30 days.  I am sure I found San through Elisabeth Frost via The ShuBox.  This is why I loved blogging back in the day - finding people through people is way better than Google/Instagram/Facebook.

My biggest learn from this month was I actually have say more than I think.  Some of my favourite posts of my own were on topics I didn't anticipate writing about.  I restarted this blog primarily because I wanted a space to talk about technology and gender - something I'm super passionate about - but I am also realizing I have a lot to say about the general logistics of life... and the gendered constraints of time.  

I've been on a "learning journey" since 2020... starting with Laura Vanderkam... continuing to Eve Rodsky.  Caroline Criado Perez  was another game-changing author for me.  I discovered Berne Brown later than most but all of this has changed my approach to life.  I wouldn't have moved jobs, I wouldn't have started a writing club, I wouldn't have restarted my blog, I wouldn't have started a local running club (currently on hold because winter - yuck) without the influence of these authors.

I did not read for nearly ten years of my life.  One year, the only book I read was The Hunger Games.  Another year, the Twilight series.  I read 50 Shades of Grey.  And that was about it - for 10 years.  In 2021 I decided to start reading again and finished 48 books that year.  This year I'm at somewhere around 52?

There is so much to learn, and to do.  There is a whole world of people doing things better and sharing that knowledge.  

And, on a more time management note - if I had time to write a blog every day for a month I definitely have time to do 5 minutes of strength training every day for a month.  But somehow, that seems far more daunting than writing.

Looking forward to seeing you in December!

November Goals - How it went

Time to review November goals!  I'm pretty sure I'm not going to accomplish any goals tomorrow - but if work lets of off early I guess I could go for a run or a swim...?  

It was a pretty good month:

Personal:
✔Barre3 x3 (I did 2 of 3, but I also did 2 yoga classes, so I give myself a ✔ )
❌Swim (nope)
✔ Mountain Bike (yes!  I love my new ladies MTB group!) 
❌Run x2 (no.  Zero running. I'll run again in April.  It's very cold and very dark)
✔Blog every day (almost! 29/30.  97% is good enough for a ✔)
✔ Schedule a haircut (Actually got a haircut!)
✔ Schedule a massage (Scheduled for my January birthday)

Family:
✔ Update Family photo albums & kids albums for October (done!)
✔ Take a Family Photo (We took some, but no good ones, so this will stay in Dec goals)
❓ Date night @home with Andy (I'm not sure... I know we went out?  I think our at home time was mostly tired.  We did start watching tv again sometimes.  I give this one a 80% pass?)
✔ Pub with Andy (yes!)

Adventure/Fun:
❌Go to the bank with Isaac to deposit birthday money (nope)
✔ Take Isaac on a big train/plane adventure (yes! Cumbria trip)
✔ Take both kids cycling somewhere - ideally a pump track (Yes - took the kids to the pump track for toddler takeover)
✔ Thanksgiving (yes!)
❌Plan my own birthday weekend (nope) 
✔ Organize community Play Street (yup)
✔ Take kids swimming (yes!)
✔ Visit a Castle (I think a roman ruin counts)

it's time to write out my December goals.  Next year I'm going to do more multi-scale planning. I'm not sure whether to break down goals/objectives seasonally or quarterly.  The finance person in me likes Jan-March, April-June, July-Sept, Oct-Dec.  Very Q1-Q4.  But also, I make seasonal fun lists... and the seasons don't match the quarters. I know, these are tiny conundrums on an otherwise exceptionally over planned life but it's what I think about.

Also, I am aware that this month's "goals" are not really moving me *towards* anything.  I think of them as lists of what a person who enjoyed their month will have done.  I guess sometimes enjoying a month is a good enough goal - I moved pretty hard towards personal/professional development in Spring/Summer 2022 so a fall of enjoyment and adventure may just be the ebb and flow of goal setting.

Do you make goals?  How often?  Do you review them?

Also, here are some happy kids at the jump park:

On Parenting, Resilience, and Expectations.

 Did I think I would be the kind of parent who brought their trouser-less two year old to a mechanic to get a flat tyre fixed?

No, I did not think I would be that kind of parent!

However:

Today at work I completed a "strengths profile". My strongest strength was "Organization" and my weakness was "Resilience"  It also pointed out that I think I am funny and that I've learned to have attention to detail but that doesn't come naturally to me.  So either the strengths profile has been reading my blog or the 160 questions did manage to provide some insight.

Also, we now have a non-flat and non-temporary tyre.  It cost £19.50 to repair.  I didn't know you could get 30 minutes of mechanic time for under £50. 

Sunday - Thanksgiving dinner in Wales

We had our thanksgiving today! I love Thanksgivings.

Menu as follows:

• Turkey
• Gravy
• Cranberry Sauce
• Roast Potatoes & Carrots
• Sweet Potato Roast
• Unstuffed Mushroom Casserole
• Spinach Casserole
• Classic Walnut Stuffing
• Cornbread
• Pumpkin Pie
• Apple Crumble with Pecans

My mom made the turkey, Andy made the stuffing, Sainsburys made the Cranberry Sauce and I made everything else.  It's been a busy weekend! 

I did have help

Hopefully we'll have a new oven by thanksgiving next year, but I was pretty pleased at my oven Tetris

I decided against pecan pie but was happy I made a pecan dessert. Apple crumbles are so good and I don't know why I don't eat the more (obvious sugar reasons aside)

This week:

• Monday evening at home: review November goals and plan December goals (hint: I made 0 of 2 monthly runs in November)
• Writing club on Tuesday
• Office day then out to dinner with friends on Wednesday
• Andy at home night on Thursday
• Not attending Christmas Party on Friday and looking forward to downtime

Football - Cheering for Wales... or maybe not.

It's a very exciting time in Wales, with the Wales Football Team competing in the world cup for the first time in 64 years.  When I moved here 13 years ago Wales was a rugby nation.. the six nations was the sport we all followed. Heartbreak and triumph rested on the future of a grand slam, or a grand defeat.

Now, apparently, Wales is a footballing nation.  Wales has gone to Qatar to represent Wales, and to spread ideologies of tolerance and acceptance.

There might be a hiccup there, as Qatari officials threatened to break a Dutch camerapersons gear on because they weren't filming in the right place.

Or when Wales said they would play with armbands in support of LGBT, but then Qatar and FIFA said no, armbands aren't allowed, and although the rights of LGBT are important they are apparently not as important as getting the uniform standards correct. 

Or when the amazing Laura McAllister was told to remove her rainbow bucket hat because although Qatar is welcoming of all - Laura is gay and allowed to be there - she's just not allowed to support being gay.

I feel even more conflicted at the current adoration of Welsh Football as it's where I worked for a weird, amazing, and interesting two years of my life.  The team I worked with (not the men's team) were incredible - respectful and inspiring. 

I was aware of the men's team, and the people who worked for/with them.  While some were great people, some were not always kind, or respectful.  There were people and politics at play that would not pass for acceptable now. Things that that should not have passed for acceptable then.

When I worked in football I didn't see the #MeToo movement coming.  In my recollection, the women in the support staff, like all women, knew that being kind to people in positions of authority was beneficial to ones career.  Things that I was aware of then, things that were normal at the time, make me retrospectively uncomfortable now.   

The #MeToo movement was more than women telling men what they experience.  Men were surprised and blindsided - and they shouldn't have been.  To me, the #MeToo movement was also the moment that women told other women this is what WE experience. Every person - younger me included - who watched inequalities at play and said nothing was slightly complicit.  Clearly not as complicit as the men who were in power, and certainly not as much as the predators... but I feel a tiny piece of responsibility(??) stays with the observers.*

At the time I didn't think what I was witnessing was wrong.  I didn't realize there were other ways to be.  

Wales isn't unique, and it certainly isn't the worst.  Football isn't either.  But the when Qatar gloss over their human rights issues to host the world up, I am very aware that we are glossing over issues with our footballing structure as well.  While we can support our country with bucket hats and banners, our country can also use a moment of reflection on it's own inequalities at play.

*I thought this was explored really well in The Morning Show

Friday misc - reading and more

This week greats:

• New Yoga Conditioning class with new friends
• Overnight in London and meeting London colleagues
• Writing club at a pub!

Weekend greats:

• Out to dinner with friends tonight
• Local Christmas fair on Saturday afternoon
• Cooking Thanksgiving meal on Sunday!

This week improvements:

• House is disorganized chaos (for me)
• Yesterday's dinner was beans on toast so probably shouldn't serve it to the kids again tonight
• in a Meal planning lull

Reading News:

• Finished Tranquillity by Tuesday.  Even better than expected.  Thinking I need to buy a copy to refer back to... just wish it wasn't' £20 for a hardback.  I love a paperback.
• Went on a massive library hold spree after listening to the holiday gift giving episode of "What Should I Read Next"

Full hold list here

• Emailed the library to request more books.  The Cardiff Library has been amazing at ordering me books.  I'm hoping they will get Work Parent Thrive soon

Thanks for Thanksgiving

In the USA, Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday – it's like Christmas without presents. Everyone is off work, you get a four day weekend, and you get to see family and friends and eat food. And do Turkey Trots! And other Thanksgiving sports!

In the UK, it's a bit less exciting. Today I was in work. I ate sushi for lunch. I had scrambled eggs, beans and toast for dinner with the kids. In the evening I made it to the pub for my writing club. I am thankful for writing club.

The kids brought thanksgiving books to nursery today – Thanks for Thanksgiving is my favourite. 

Isaac brought it in to share with his friends. Isaac made me a Turkey with feathers and Lilah made a turkey handprint, although I'm not sure whether nursery did that for everyone or whether it was just for me because I so clearly love the holiday. I am thankful for a good nursery.

This morning we talked about what we are thankful for. Isaac told me he was thankful for friend that are kind and also for books. I said I was thankful that we all have our own beds and that our beds are nice and have blankets and pillows. Lilah said “Thank you for the food!” which is what we say before eating – I'm not sure the two year old really comprehended the conversation. I am thankful for good conversations with my kids in the morning.

We are having a thanksgiving meal on Sunday. I'm working on the menu now - I am definitely making pumpkin pie, but I always have trouble with the thanksgiving desserts. I see lots of things I want to eat but nothing I want to make. I don't like knowing how much sugar is in those pecan bars, I just want to eat those pecan bars. I am thankful for pecan bars.

My mom reminded me that we're only having 5 people for thanksgiving... I may have over planned the menu. I don't mind – I am thankful for leftovers.