We've recently revamped our FLOM (Family Logistics and Operational Meeting) by digitizing our agenda on google sheets, and also using tabs to followup on actions from meeting to meeting. Last week the AOB agenda was
- House Stuff - things we need for the kids rooms, trying to get new curtains for the lounge and a new rug and a new IKEA bench for outside
- Lily's birthday party - invite list and who is coming and what we need
- Back to school - what we need, who is responsible for buying it
- Gifts - all our kids have September/October birthdays, and then Hanukkah and Christmas after... so I figured maybe we could plan and order all the gifts now.
Those are just the AOB items... during the meetings we also go through the week, figure out when we are each doing sports/hobbies, plan the upcoming weekend, loosely plan the future weekends. And plan food for the week. And lunches for kids if needed. And loosely plan breakfasts.
Even with all these organizing systems, I still feel I keep a lot in my head, or at least I am responsible for a lot of house admin. Lots of reasons for this - I'm pretty good at it, I'm home more, I probably have higher standards for some things and I sometimes notice things earlier. Because I work from home I see all the clutter and to-dos about 50 times for every one time Andy sees something.
Some of the things swirling in my head at the moment.
Laundry
I am the laundry person. Our Nanny does laundry when she is here, but she only works 4 days a week, and that means I'm thinking of laundry 3-4 days a week. I'm also better about tracking when beds and towels need changing.
Ironing
I never iron. Neither does Andy. I didn't see the point, until I realized that all my clothes are wrinkled and look *soo* much better when ironed. But also, I have no interest in ironing. So, do I find an ironing person? Also, I only own 6 shirts, so that's probably not enough for an ironing person. But also, I have no interest in spending any time ironing. This does not have a solution at the moment.
Cleaning
I do more cleaning than Andy, but neither of us do a lot of cleaning. Except the evening house reset - chucking toys back in boxes, sweeping floors, wiping table and counters. I used to refuse to hoover/vacuum but I'm also tired of living in a somewhat yuck house so now I do try and hoover every few days.
I would love to hire cleaners again, but I failed to hire cleaners 3 times last January and it turns out it takes the same effort to fail to hire a cleaner (three in a row showed up twice then said they couldn't do it... maybe our house is really really gross?). Also, since the twins are generally always home, it's hard to hire a cleaner who can come when they are out and I don't think cleaners like working in a house with toddlers running around.
Food
I recently delegated the food shopping to Andy. His first response was "great, where's the list?" and I almost laughed. "oh no..." I replied, "there is so much more to food shopping than that"
- Scheduling the order. When will it come? Who will put it away?
- Checking the list
- Checking the cabinet to see if we are running low on things we use often
- Checking the meal plan and ordering whatever is needed
- Checking the perishable fruit and veg situation and considering what we may need in 2-3 days time
- Thinking about what other things we may be doing that might need more or different food (ie, might we have friends for lunch? order more rolls! Might we have people for dinner? Perhaps add some cans of something?
So far it's been a learning journey for everyone, but it's definitely made me realize how much headspace goes to food (not counting prep and meal planning!)
Photos
I am the default memory keeper... I take almost all the photos. Partly because I'm the one with the smartphone, partly because I am the one most attached to making the kids photo albums. The albums take 2ish hours a month. I update each kids album and the family album. The family one takes longer because I'm more selective about the photos and because I add notes, the kids ones are just photos.
In addition to making the albums, I have to curate the photos on my phone, delete the bad ones, crop the good ones, and make sure that when it comes time to upload to snapfish (where we get our albums) I'm not uploading 10 very similar photos.
Last year I tried to delegate this one, and after the first month each kid had only one page for the month because "there weren't any good photos". Which is true, many of the photos are not objectively "good". However, I like the albums to have photos which capture what we did, even if it's boring, or not well framed, or the kids aren't smiling. Life right now is made up of boring forgettable things and I want to be able to remember them when I'm older. So I took back the photo project, and each month has 5-6 pages of average photos.
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I don't really have a great point to this post, except it's a lot of stuff and I don't know how other people manage. Even delegating takes mental load to offload. I wish housekeepers were a normal thing that still existed. I would so much rather take my kids to a castle than clean a toilet.
Saying that, we have been to lots of castles lately, and I will not blog the state of my toilets.
Some castle photos, because this has been a very word-heavy post!
Is your head a swirling pit of to-dos and life admin? Do you delegate to other members of your household or are you the standard setter?