Bedtime improvement plan & blogger visits & weekend plans

Last night, for the first time in THREE WEEKS, we had a basically tearless bedtime.  This morning I woke up at 6:20am and thought "wow, I have slept so late today".  I am not saying these things to brag about my brilliant life, but to say that *maybe* twin sleep is getting better and *maybe* this is the start of me being a functioning human-person again and not just the "time for bed at 8pm" person I have been for 3 weeks.

When things start to get getter with kids/sleep one always asks "what changed"? Sleep is basically the most superstitious topic in parenting small kids.  

So what changed last night, in our first good bedtime in 3 weeks?

We found someone else to do bedtime.  A teenage girl.  The BEST toddler and kid entertainment that exists.

When I found out blogger extraordinaire Elisabeth was planning a long Europe adventure I reached out with a Wales visit pitch, and since she arrived on Wednesday I have both loved having her around *and* loved watching our kids hang out!  

We have basically been looking for a Belle since we had kids.  I told Andy many times about how teenage year old girls are *the best* for small kids and Belle has been even better than I imagined.

On Friday Belle joined us for school pick up for Ezra and Lily.  Andy asked why.  Why would a teenage  girl want to spend time with kids and toddlers?  Because that's how being an awesome teenage year old girl works.

We even managed to eat dinner outside Friday evening, even though the weather said chance of rain all day.  And her kids didn't mind foraging berries in our garden (because we are apparently raising feral welsh suburban children):

After dinner, Belle ran twin bedtime!  At one point she asked for help, because Andy had closed the stair gate and she was stuck in a room with a nappie-less Clara yelling "need a wee! Need the potty!" while Aubrey tried to take off her own nappy.  However, by 7:30, she read them a story, and by 8pm everyone (even Ezra and Lily!) was asleep.

For the first night in weeks, Andy and I hung out after bedtime and even watched a show.  I used ChatGBP to help find something to watch, and it suggested Big Mistakes, which seems a bit... meh so far.

This weekend we have the kind of weekend where *everyone* has something they are looking forward to.  

• Ezra and I are excited to explore South Wales with Elisabeth and co.  
• Lily, Clara, and Aubrey are excited to go to a 5 year old's birthday party at a soft play.  
• Andy is excited to take the big kids biking tomorrow 

I realize I am the worst scientist, because one good bedtime is not a trend, but this morning I can be optimistic it might be. 

Maybe we will survive this sleep transition.  Maybe.   

Have you watched any good shows recently?  How do I find a teenage year old girl to help us with our kids all the time?  

Probaby grumpy and complaining sleep thoughts about twins, a short Evening in the Life, and some grumpy golden hours

I'm fairly sure I have sleep PTSD.  Now that we are a few days into twin bed transition, I have basically immediately reverted to sleep survival mode. This isn't fully necessary as current sleep is a lot better than newborn sleep, but sleep uncertainty is high now and I do not like it.  

It turns out, I now have an exceptionally strong "Sleep Uncertainty" mode, which instantly triggers the following sleep protective behaviours

• Cut out all evening socializing
• Go to bed as close to 8pm as possible
• Use work (childcare) hours for productive work only
• Sleep as long as possible in the mornings
• Lower all standards for house cleanliness
• Lower all standards for family food
• Delay all house/life maintenance hobbies, such as budgeting and photo albums

These things all took me a long time to embed when twins were born, but I now immediately jumped back into them and as a result, I am not sleep deprived.

I am very grumpy in other ways, and the house is yucky, and I don't know how I'm going to survive the 4 day weekend, and I really miss my (only newly rekindled) love of exercise.

The other newborn twin adaptive behavior I am good at is patience. Not in the immediate kind (I'm not good at being patient with the kids) but in the longer term kind.  I am telling myself that they will sleep again when they are 3 or 4, and I will only live like a joy-less sleep stressed and hobby-less human for a few months or years.  (also, I told you this post was complain-y right? I feel like using the word "joy-less" when talking about kid stuff is really harsh, because perhaps I should find joy through all this precious kid time, but I find joy through kid time when balanced with periods of non kid time)

Are these really good adaptive behaviours? Not too sure.  They certainly don't make me fun to be around right now.

Laura Vanderkam is working on a book about the "Golden Hours".  I like this premise.  In life, the "Golden Years" are the time after retirement and before death (I guess? That sounds morbid).  In the same way, everyday we get hours between Work and Sleep that should/could have the same golden quality.  

Here are my golden hours from yesterday

5:30 Finish Work
5:45 Pick up kids from after school, child A throws massive wobbler about how he wanted the other parent to pick him up.
6:00 Family dinner (pasta)
6:20 Clean up family dinner while kids play downstairs with Andy

6:50 kid with most transition difficulty struggles to transition out of games, go upstairs with said kid
7:00 Andy works on twin bedtime, I work on Lily bedtime (Pyjamas etc) and Lily has milk downstairs
7:20 Read stories to Lily, Andy works on twin bedtime
7:45 Lily goes to her bed, Andy works on twin bedtime
8:00 Say goodnight to Twins, Andy says goodnight to Lily
8:05 Say goodnight to Ezra
8:15 Twins awake and happy, I finish tidying downstairs and reply to some emails
8:40 Twins awake and unhappily yelling
8:45 Lily awake due to unhappy twins
8:50 Tell twins goodnight again
9:00 Try to plan week with Andy but fail because we are too tired
9:10 read in bed
9:30 Sleep

In 4 hours, we spent 2 hours actively putting kids to bed.  That is too many hours.  For reference, bedtimes used to run from 6:45 (twins) to 7:45 (Ezra) and I could usually leave the house at 7:30 if I wanted.

Perhaps there is a reason Laura is writing about golden hours now that her youngest is 5 years old. I will also have golden hours again, someday. 

Or maybe the 20 minutes of reading and 20 minutes of emails are the golden hours I should be looking for?  I guess that is 40 minutes of gold, amongst an otherwise rather tiring 3hr 20minutes.

For now, I'll just squeeze my golden hours into my 20 minute 6am morning coffee and blog post.

Sunday Update: Reading, Sports, Sleep

FIRST.  A long time a go (like, months, sorry!) I got the most awesome lighthouse postcard from Elisabeth and Kyria!  It was so exciting to get mail, AND to tell the kids it had come all the way from Canada.  Thank you Elisabeth and Kyria!

This week felt mostly like this:

I mean, nothing objectively bad happened, but the babies sleep was AWFUL, and we had some truly terrible family dinners.  I've always thought family dinners are important but this week made me think maybe it's just too much for two human adults to try and eat with small kids?  

On Wednesday our nanny made a super tasty tuna pasta which the kids would not try, and then did a bunch of weird stuff with plain pasta.  On Wednesday I made a enchilada lasagne (a million times easier than this version).  And the kids only wanted to eat tortillas and cheese.  How long can a small human survive on just bread and cheese? I told them they had to have a plain bean and cheese wrap, which one child ate, and the other child picked all the beans out then said they were done.  BUT also my kids aren't done in the "I'll go upstairs and play" done - they're done in the "I'll make everyone else miserable whether I stay at the table or get down from the table" phase.  

Also, the babies didn't like the enchilada casserole, which is super annoying because they loved it last time and it was delicious.  So I shoved an entire dinner down me with grumpy babies and grumpy kids and then I was so grumpy as well.

Also, Audrey is still waking between 4:30 and 5.  Sometimes she used to sleep till almost 6 and in my head I thought she slept till 6 but I must now admit, like I did a year ago when they were 7 weeks old, there is no sleep after 5.  Never rely on getting sleep after 5am.

So besides being tired and annoyed, my week was fine?

Reading

I finished One Day In December and it was nice.  I dowloaded Real Americans but I'm not sure I have 11 hours to spend reading a book.  

My TBR is a bit meh at the moment and the ones I want aren't coming through fast enough.  I need to get on goodreads best of the year list and start picking some more.

Sports

I decided to try a Peloton challenge of exercising every day this month!

• Monday
• 30 Minute Hip Hop Ride with Cody Rigsby (Peloton)
• 10 Minute Core Strength with Adrian Williams (Peloton)
• 
  
• Tuesday
• 20 Minute Pop Ride with Kendall Too (Peloton)
• 90 Minute Hot Yoga with a friend (this was hard!)
• Wednesday
• 30 Minute Pop Ride with Jen Sherman (Peloton)
• Thursday
• 1 Hour gym session (upper) with gym buddy
• 20 Minute Focu Flow: Hip with Chelsea Jackson Roberts
• Friday
• Nothing, goodbye streak
• Saturday
• 30 Minute Indie Rock Ride with Mayla Wedekind (Peloton - Live!)

If I can do a "almost every day in Day in December" that's also good.  

Also on Saturday I was really pleased because I had the babies by myself and I saw a class was starting live at 9:30 (which is baby first nap) and I managed to get two babies changed and in bed for nap and change myself and get on the Peloton in 6 minutes.  After Peloton I managed to shower and change in perfect time to get the babies up at 10:15.  

This whole twin thing is super easy if you can live at 100% effort 100% of the time and be comfortable with success only 10% of the time even with all that effort (case in point - I wanted to ride during afternoon nap on Friday but Audrey woke up early and there was no other time in the day I could do exercise).  

[Alternate phrasing to that paragraph: this twin thing is basically impossible]

Sleep

Until Thursday I was at 7.1 hours average sleep, after an exceptionally painful 6.5 hours on Tuesday night (which resulted in me being so tired I missed a call in work because I knew I would be too tired to focus or be of any value).  I did other work in that time, but told the meeting attendees that I had a clash.  The clash was that I was too tired to pay attention ton an hour long call.

I decided to to revert to newborn life and start going to bed at 8pm again, so I've managed to claw my average back to 7.42 average, but 8pm bedtime is no way for a human adult to exist.

My line a day journal indicates that this time last year was the steep slide into twin baby horror; so while I am glad to not be reliving 7 week old twins, I am pretty sure that next year I will think "Man, I'm glad to not be reliving 13 month old twins!"

Maybe next year I will just plan not to leave the house after 6pm from November to Feb?  Maybe bears and other hibernating animals have it right.

How was your week?  Have you ever avoided a work thing because you are too tired?  Why is "I'm too tired" not an adequate reason to cancel all evening activities as well? 

Sunday Update: Reading, Sports, Sleep, Food Plan

Babies on the stairs! Up Up and away.

My first full week of work started with me coming down with cold-zilla. I basically haven't been ill for the last 11 months, except for one bout of mastitis in December where the vomiting started at 7:30pm and ended at 2am when it was time to do my 2am onward baby care shift.  I think I finally got ill on Monday because I actually had time to get ill.  I took a 90 minute nap at 3pm, but I had to be better at 5pm so I could do dinner and kid bedtimes etc.  For the rest of the week I have basically had EVERY cold symptom that exists. Sore Muscles, headache, tiredness, upset stomach, digestion problems, inability to sleep, shivers, one hand is cold, runny nose, sore throat.  

I don't mean to sound like a conspiracy theorist here but if I was to genetically engineer the perfect cold then whatever I have is definitely that.  I don't remember colds completely wiping me out when I was younger.  Then again, I probably had more capacity for being completely wiped out while younger. 

Anyways, this week was mostly feeling rubbish while still having to do all the kid things.  It's way easier to feel terrible in work than it is to feel terrible while watching kids, but my brain feels super dumb now and I hope that I can get back to regularly scheduled thinking soon.

Reading

I finished Spitting Gold and it was a perfect start of fall read.  

I started reading You Only Die Once and I think it's good but I need to actually pay attention, which is not the headspace I'm in right now.

Sports

I did leg day with my gym buddy on Thursday because I do not miss leg day gym buddy.  I am still sore 4 days later from doing a few sets of lightly weighted squats and I think this because of cold-zilla.  Otherwise, it was survival week.

Sleep

I have averaged 7.75 hours of sleep, which is good but also probably a sign of not being well.  Also, I started randomly waking up at night (hello woman entering her 40s life??! or perhaps nearing the end of nursing babies life??! either way, I blame hormones) which you can see in my time log:

Luckily the awake time helped me get some more reading time!

Food Plan

Sunday: Tacos
Monday: Veggie Burgers, Chips and Sweet Corn
Tuesday: Slow Cooker Quinoa Enchilada Bake
Wednesday: Nanny cooks dinner (fingers crossed this works well!)
Thursday: Freezer Curry & Naan
Friday: Macaroni and Cheese

We are trying to adjust our family schedule a bit with dinner at 6pm instead of 5:30.  So far we have had OK success with two days at 5:45.  I need to stop eating meals at toddler time and am trying to move my lunch from 11:30 to 12:30 with the addition of snack.

Also, I am on a vegetable lull.  Isn't now the vegetable time?  Shouldn't I be enjoying a bountiful harvest of veg (as reflected in affordability at the store?).  Instead I think I am just eating endless broccoli.

Misc from the blog-o-sphere

San does an awesome link list every month.  September is as awesome as usual.  Especially her link to sheet pan gnocchi meals.  I love sheet pan gnocchi and need to eat it more. 

I loved Elisabeth's post on Clean, Neat, Both or Neither.  Comments are gold too!  Thanks for the admission Elisabeth.

Jenny lives in Florida and loves pumpkins. I also love pumpkins, and I love people who write about pumpkin love.  Many of her recent posts have been pumpkin gold.  

-----

I am excited to be at the end of September.  I am ready for October.  Bring on pumpkins.  Let's get rid of this dumb coldzilla.

Sunday Update: Reading, Sports, Sleep, Food Plan

We had a week of sun this week which ended with rain and now I'm totally into FALL.  I'm ready! There are 100 days left in the year today! I am wearing my light sweaters! I put throw blankets out downstairs.  I will soon do a smelly candle inventory and redistribute.  I should probably swap my duvet to the 9.5 tog one and the downstairs curtains to the heavy ones.  I love fall.

Also, I started work this week! On Tuesday! I cannot believe I get to go back to work again on Monday.  At 5pm  on Thursday I wasn't totally exhausted.  I was excited to come downstairs and see my lovely kids having a lovely time with the Nanny.  I've done big kids bedtimes with less "I can't do this, your turn Andy" endings.   I keep thinking how lucky I am that I get to go back to work on Monday *and* they even pay me to be there. I get paid to be less tired.  People are happy to see me.  I can go to the toilet whenever I want.  It's just... good.  

Reading

I just finished Summer Romance.  It's only the second book I finished this month.  I have given up on Olga Dies Dreaming.  So far this year I'm at 37 books.  I think Summer Romance officially ends my summer reading and now I'm into fall.  Fall is life improvement reading and advetnure fantasy.  

The following are on my fall list:

• Uptime by Laura Mae Martin
• You Only Die Once by Jodi Wellman
• The Plan by Kendra Adachi
• Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin & Joe Dominguez

Fiction on my fall list:

• Trust by Hernan Diaz
• Spitting Gold by Carmella Lowkis
• The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley
• Starter Villain by Jon Scalzi

I read some fantastic books this summer.  But I will pick Sandwich was the best book of the summer for me.  You can see my full booklist here, I started adding star ratings but I realized I enjoyed so many books!

Sports

Monday: Long walk in the woods with babies in baby carriers.

Tuesday: 1.5 mile bike ride to my friend's house, 4.5 mile run/jog up local hill.  Then a train run down with head torches which was super fun! I like trail running at night with head torches.  1.5 mile bike ride home.

Thursday: Leg day at the gym with gym buddy.  I love leg day! I am so imbalanced.  My split squats are a nightmare.  I've decided I need to work on my split squats more.

Saturday: 3 mile bike ride to dinner with andy and then 3 mile bike ride home.

Since I still don't have access to my office I have decided to take it easy on my workout schedule.  We have set up the baby room, and the former baby room is being painted this week, and then Andy can move into that office, and then I can have floorspace in my office again, and then I plan to do more workout videos as a break from my workday.

Sleep

I'm averaging 7.25 hours of sleep.  On Sunday, after my mountain biking, I went to sleep at 8pm and slept till 6am.  I've been pretty good about going to sleep by 9.  

Food Plan

Why not incorporate a food plan here??

Monday: Jacket Potatoes with Tuna Salad, Cheese and Beans and Broccoli

Tuesday: Slow Cooker pinto beans and rice
Wednesday: Blue Cheese Burgers and chips and Broccoli

Thursday: Mystery Pasta Dish (whatever I feel like making)

Friday: Sushi (out!) and Toad in the Hole for the kids (Sausage baked in batter)

 This week is an exciting week because Lilah *finally* starts school nursery (like pre-k?).  I'm really not into the slow start school.  Isaac has been in for 3 weeks already.  However, check out this uniform situation.  Sometimes I am still surprised at how british my kids are.

Happy Fall y'all!

Sunday Update: Sleep, Reading, Sport

This week was my last week of maternity leave before starting work on Tuesday.  I had tried to plan a lot of nice things, but somehow many of them just turned a little... off.  But in very non-complainable ways.  For instance I really really wanted to see my Pilates teacher from when I did pilates when the babies were 3-6 months old and so I signed up for her class and then when I got there it was a different instructor.  The other instructor was fine... but it wasn't my super strong lady trainer I really wanted to see one more time.

I'm just going to go straight into 

Sleep:

I have been averaging 7.5 hours of sleep a night but I am waking up so grumpy because I am straight into grumpy babies.  The babies are on a 5:15am grumpy wake up, which is soooo tiring.   I feel tired. The big kids are usually asleep by 7:15pm, the house is ready for another day by 7:45pm, and so I have 9 hours to do whatever I want, including sleep.  

The evenings do just disappear because 1.5 hours of personal time is a bit tricky to really utilize, considering that I need about a 30 minute wind-down for bed.  So from about 7:45-9:00 I am free to do...

I guess that's the issue.  Sometimes I hang out with Andy.  Sometimes house stuff takes a bit longer.  I guess, if I just have 1 hour of leisure time a day, I should use it as such.  Laura Vanderkam would argue that 7 hours a week is a lot of leisure.  Perhaps this week I'll aim for 8pm yoga? Reading is also leisure and I do that for 30 minutes before bed, so I'm not completely blank for leisure, but I it does feel is short supply.

Also, if I'm going to be woken up at 5:20am every morning by babies, they could at least do me the curtously of not being pissed off about being awake at 5:20am every morning.  

Mornings have not been good.  I like mornings.  I don't like extended grumpy baby mornings. I am happier when I wake up before the babies, but I am not sure I want to chop my 1 hour of evening leisure into 30 minutes evening leisure and 30 minutes morning leisure by trying for a 8pm bedtime and sleeping until 5am.  I know this will pass... but it sure is taking a while.

Reading

I started reading Summer Romance but I mostly read while babies complain and it's not a great time to read.  It's better than Olga Dies Dreaming, which I have abandoned at 50%.  I got my copy of You Only Die Once from the library but my brain is currently so unfocused that I'm barely holding the pieces of Summer Romance together... and it's not a very complicated book.

Sport

Tuesday: Not as good reformer pilates class

Wednesday: Rode bike to local bike shop (up a mountain! 600ft of climbing!) then ran back down.  It took 40 minutes to ride 3.5 miles there and 50 minutes to run the 3.5 miles back.  It was an awesome adventure.  I listened to a 45 minute Peloton training run on the way back which was good fun.

Thursday: Arm workout with gym buddy.  New gym is great.  I realized old gym had big photos of people "working out and having fun!" on the wall.  All the people in these photos were very pretty.  New gym just has slogans like "Lift like no one is watching" and "you got this" and it's way more inclusive than old gym.  I like new gym

Today (Sunday) I am doing an all day ladies mountain biking day at a local trail center.  I am a bit scared because I basically haven't been biking in 18 months.  Right before I found out I was pregnant with twins I went on a biking and camping weekend trip. I intended to do so much riding during this pregnancy, and the last ride I did was to the doctor at 25 weeks pregnant.  I remember I ached for 3 days after that 2 mile ride. 

The good news about this trail center is that I get driven up hill with my bike in a van so I just have to ride down hill.  It's still going to be hard, but it will also hopefully be fun, and I will also get to hang out with my biking lady friends, and hopefully make MORE biking lady friends, and hopefully remember that I actually really do love mountain biking. 

Sunday Update: Reading, Sports Sleep

That was another... week.  Or was it a month? A year?  Last week included two days with our new nanny, lilah's last two days at nursery, Lilah's fourth birthday party, TWO trips to the same castle, a family play date AND a trip to a city over an hour away.  I knew summer would ramp up but it has certainly ramped. 

Reading

I am super glad I got a copy of the Rom-Commers instead of  the Friend Zone.  NGS wrote a (Spoiler filled) review of The Friend Zone and reading this review is far better than reading the book.  I'm almost done with Rom-Commers and have super enjoyed.  I have read so many great books back to back now.  This definitely feels like summer reading (a lot of these are from the MMD Summer Reading Guide).  

I added/kept a few books to my hold list to try and get a few more summer titles done before the end of "summer":

• The Blue Bistro by Elin Hildebrand
• This Summer Will Be Different by Carley Fortune
• The Stand-In by Lily Chu
• Summer Romance by Annabel Monaghan

I know I won't read all of these so some may be pushed into next years summer reading.  I also know that I like reading more non-fiction & self improvement stuff in Fall, so I've already put the following on hold

• Uptime by Laura Mae Martin
• You Only Die Once by Jodi Wellman
• Spoon Fed by Tim Spector

I'm also excited for Oliver Burkeman's new book Meditations for Mortals and Kendra Adachi's new book The Plan (BECAUSE OMG DOES THAT TIME/PRODUCTIVITY SPACE NEED MORE FEMALE WRITERS!)

I also want to Re-read Invisible Women soon.  

I'll likely finish the Rom-Commers today and fortuitously ended up first in line for Olga Dies Dreaming.  Excited to read this one nexgt.

Sports

Monday: 1 hour gym session with Gym Buddy (at new gym).  20 minute run (Peloton Mental Health Awareness Run).  10 minute Peloton Yoga Healthy Back focus flow

Wednesday: 20 minute run in pouring rain.  Came home for 20 minute Peloton Barre class instead.

Without consistant childcare for all children, that is my schedule. Three times a week may be a habit, but two times a week is just what it is for me right now.  School starts on Wednesday, and the week of the 9th is workout-polooza for me (because I love sports) and I can't wait.  I'm even going back to Reformer Pilates for one last session with my pilates buddy before I start work. YAY.

I know you're all waiting for my gym saga update, but gym buddy and I agreed we are not going to old gym.  The timing worked well as there was no contract and both of our monthly payments were almost due, so that has been cancelled and done.  Next week we are joining a new (even cheaper gym) and I am super excited for this fresh start.  Also the new gym offers guest passes AND my writing buddy goes there so maybe I can have some writing buddy crossover!

Also, gym buddy and I took a new gym selfie, because since we became gym buddies we have not taken many selfies.  

We did take lots of selfies when we were going out buddies back in the 2010s.  

Basically no change right?

Life pro-tip.  Highly recommend you find yourself a life buddy who becomes your gym buddy and your life buddy.  Makes life and gym way more fun.  Also when you get married and have kids with your life and mountain biking buddy you still have someone to do other sports with.

Sleep

This is just not good.  The babies are sleeping fine, 7-5:30 or 6am.  The kids are generally asleep by 7.  But I have so much I want to do, and so little time for myself in the day, that evenings are just full.  We are in the process of moving kids bedrooms around so I worked on clearing out my office.  I am listing and selling on Vinted again (yay!) to declutter our house.  I have appointments to book (of my own fun, like getting my hair done, and finding a time to do Pilates with my Pilates buddy).  One night I spent 30 minutes replying to texts because I don't really use my phone in the day for texting and it had just built and built.  Our weekly FLOM (Family Logistics Meeting) took almost 2 hours this week with all the transitions and school and birthday logistics.

Here is how I sum up my sleep

Did the 1:28am sleep meditation work?  I mean, I eventually fell asleep, so yes?  It would have been better if I hadn't woken up at midnight and then stayed awake untill nearly 3am for no discernable reason.

Last night I collapsed into bed at 7:30pm and woke up at 5:30 so with that 10 hour night I have crept back up to a 7.25 average across this week.  

How is your week? Is summer "over" for you?  Are you back to school now, have you been back to school for ages, or do you have ages left? Or that not play a role in your life at all?

Sunday Update: Reading, Sports, Sleep

It's a Sunday again!  This week had some definite highs and some lows.  Let's dive right in, shall we?

Reading:

I finished The Wedding People by Alison Espach and I LOVED it.  It was a book that was so good I wanted to read it slowly.  I want to hang out with the characters longer.  I want to go to a fancy hotel.  It was such a dark premise and then... joy.  MMD review here for more info.

I have so many holds for which I am first in line for BUT I didn't time it right because I wanted to read The Rom-Commers by Catherine Center and I had pushed that hold forward too much.  I would also read The Blue Bistro by Elin Hildebrand or The Stand In by Lily Chu, both of which I am first in line for.  But when I finished The Wedding People I was still first in line for all!  Then a copy of The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez came through, which I started, but it feels too late summer for "he loves/she loves".  When I checked Libby today my copy of The Rom-Commers was ready and so I will hopefully finish both books in the next 21 days since they both have a lot of holds.  Libby hold balancing/planning is hard!

Sports

This week was not a sports week.  

Monday: 20 minutes yoga

Wednesday: Totally awful trip to the gym.  

Thursday: 20 minute run

I don't have enough childcare to do sports right now.  Our nanny started this week for two days, but it's primarily for settling in.  And the babies are... unsettled.  I am unsettled.  Lilah is still in nursery some days, but Isaac is home all days, and it is all unsettling.  Also it was a full moon last week! And I felt terrible. Wednesday was the most unsettling.  Thursday and friday were entirely childcare days.  I don't even have baby naps now to do sport because I have Isaac on Thursday and all kids on Friday.  

Also the gym confrontation has really knocked me back.  I haven't decided what to do about it.  But some other pieces that have bothered me since the event (where a trainer at the gym accused my friend of training me - blog here) have registered as follows:

• Why did the trainer not ask my gym buddy if he was training me?
• Why did he wait to catch me alone (while my friend was getting his weights)?
• Why did he assume I wanted a trainer or to be trained at all? 
• Why did he feel it was OK to be aggressive to me but not to my (male) friend?
• Why did he do this in front of everyone at the gym, such that so many people saw the interaction and strangers even asked me what happened?  Was it to make me extra uncomfortable?

I also realized that for the last month I always felt like people were watching me, but I always told myself I was being silly.... that I deserved to be in the free weights space as much as anyone else.  That even though I was doing "dude" exercises it was OK and I was allowed.  And that people were probably just minding their own business and it was all in my head.  Apparently... I was being watched.  It wasn't in my head.  And I just feel... embarrassed.  

Mostly I feel profoundly uncomfortable about ever going back there.  My friend says we should go as we haven't done anything wrong.  He thinks that by *not* going they will think they "caught" us or that we were doing something wrong.  But I don't think I have the resilience for this right now.

Also, my friend feels very complimented (as he should be!) that gym workers think he is a trainer, since he is actually a small business owner.  I think I feel equally crappy that gym workers look at me and think "she looks like she wants a trainer".  

Anyways, I want to do more Peloton workouts and running.  I need to get out of my head more.  Hopefully this week.

Sleep

Babies are waking up around 5:15 but sometimes staying in bed till nearly 6.  I had a lot of trouble sleeping after gym incident.  I am sometimes waking up too early.  And writing buddy came over one evening and we stayed up later.  So for a combination of reasons, some my fault and some not, I have been averaging 7.1 hours of sleep this week.  I would like a bit more.  But without baby naps and without childcare I have so little me time that 7:30 onward feels like my only time for myself and it's hard to get myself to bed before 9:30.

Speaking of that - time for bed!

Did you have an unsettled week? Do you think full moons are unsettling?

Sunday Update: Reading, Sports, Sleep

I had to use my time log to remind me what happened this week.  A lot!  The twins dropped their 10:30am feed, so I am now free to roam the world from 7am to 3:30pm.  I used this freedom to go for a 6 mile hike with a friend on Wednesday while the two big kids were at camp. Andy took a day of annual leave to watch the babies. I told Andy it was the longest time I've been away from children (6 hours!) since before the twins were born.  He said that I spent at least 8 hours with no kids while I was in labour, so that also counted as a Rachel day too.

My dad is currently visiting so I have another person to witness the chaos that is twin life.  My apple watch tells me I stand an average of 16 hours a day.  That sounds about right.  We took Isaac to a museum, we failed to find parking at multiple cafes, and now we are looking forward to a few days of kid fun before he heads back to California.  

Reading

I am currently reading and LOVING Sandwich by Catherine Newman

For whatever reason I couldn't find this on Libby so I got an actual copy from my library.  It's got the UK cover of course, which is... weird.  I like the US cover better

Sports

Oh what a week! No real consistency with anything BUT I've done a lot of things I enjoy

Monday: 20 Minute Run, 30 minute Peloton Full Body strength, 10 minute stretching.

Tuesday: 30 minute Pilates with Kristen McGee

Wednesday: 6 mile hike. 1 hour bouldering at the climbing gym pm

Thursday: 1 hour Core and Cardio gym session with gym buddy. 

Friday: Watching kids and babies all day

Saturday: 30 minute Peloton full body strength, 10 minute postnatal Rehab, 5 minutes stretching 

The highlight of the week was definitely going to the climbing gym.  It was so fun to do bouldering again! I used to go climbing with Andy when we first met.  I was never a very good climber but I was always a very enthusiastic climber.  I would love to get back into climbing (of the indoor, bouldering variety.  I am too old and have too little time to faff around on rocks)

Sleep

My time log says 7.2 hours of sleep a night.  BUT, most of my sleep is consecutive now, which is great.  The kids have been exhausted from life, which has meant early bedtimes (7pm) and the babies are being their usual great bedtime babies.  

Now is probably the bedtime era I will look back on fondly in the future.  Except for the part where we spend an hour and a half putting kids to bed and tidying the house every evening. I might not look fondly back on that.  

Sunday Update: Reading, Sports, Sleep

My brother left on Wednesday, which was also the first day of summer camp for Isaac.  He's in camp 2 days a week for the next 3 weeks.  Lilah is still in nursery 3 days a week. The house was suddenly very quiet.  The twins were suddenly on good form as well.  They dropped their 10:30am feed and I am suddenly free to leave them with Andy for bigger adventures... such as taking Isaac and Lilah out to a local open air museum for 4+ hours, which we did on Friday.  

The weather has been HOT and then slightly less hot.  It's hovering around 70 for the next week which is perfect for me.  Last week I did not want to cook anything because apparently 75 degree weather means my brain doesn't work and the last place I want to be is in the kitchen.  

Anyways.. 

Reading

I finished The Postcard and it was immensely good.  I bet it would be even better if I could read French.  I highly highly recommend this book and it will probably make a best read of the year book for me.  Next I have a paper copy of Sandwich by Catherine Newman, which I find hard to read because I do most of my reading at night and in bed when other people might not want me to have the light on.  Maybe I will borrow certain other people's reading lights.  I've also got a Libby copy of This Summer Will Be Different by Carly Fortune, but I haven't started it yet because Libby says I am first in line for The Wedding People by Alison Espach and I *really* want to read that next and I keep checking the app to see if it's available.  1st in line with 8 copies in use.  It must be coming soon right??

Sports

I got my office workout room back on Wednesday (this is another downside of a combined office/guest room/gym) and so I have done a tiny amount of sport this week!

Thursday: 15 minute Flash 15 with Jess Sims.  Turns out workout out when it's 75 degrees makes everything super hard.  This was also a super hard workout to do after not exercising for a week.  I probably should have moved back into it more slowly.

Saturday: 20 minute run.  20 minute Peloton arm workout with Robin Arzon.  Also, I feel like this instructor is kind of annoying.  I used to find her inspiring and endearing.  I'm so mildly and inconsequentially conflicted! I need to try some new instructors.  I finished with a 5 minute stretch.

I've got more excercise scheduled in for tomorrow and this week, so hopefully I will get some more sport/me time now.  Especially with childcare for the big kids 2 days this week.  If the twins continue their solid 8:30-9:30 nap I should be able to do at least some exercise on Tuesday and Wednesday morning.

Sleep

I have averaged 7.2 hours of sleep which seems low BUT I feel like it's been pretty good sleep.  I wake up naturally at 5am now, before the babies start making noise at 5:30.  Babies havent needed to get up until after 6am all week.  Fingers crossed this continues.  Kids are also going to sleep well at 7pm again, so everyone it my house mostly sleeps from 7 to 5, and I am aware of how good this is.  I don't feel like a sleep deprived mess all the time. Sometimes I don't have my first coffee until *after* breakfast! And most of the time I don't take ibuprofen and coffee as a first breakfast at 5am like I used to. 

Highlight of the week:

This week we went to an open day at our local fire station.  Fire and Police and Ambulance were there.  It was really really cool

Nora Police

Sometimes you just have to ask random people to take family photos because with this many kids there will never be a right time for a family photo.

Isaac and Lilah learn CPR from the friendly paramedic

Have you ever heard of or been to a Fire Station open day?  Is 75 degrees too hot for you or too cold? Have you read The Postcard?

Sunday Update: Reading, Workouts, and Sleep

What a week.  A definite crashing start into summer.  Because Andy doesn't work on Mondays, Tuesday was the first day I really felt the start of "SUMMER".  As in, at 1pm, I told Andy I could not do this SUMMER thing and we were going to have to look for other options.  

I did not realise quite how much I depended on baby nap times for me to feel like a human person, and how having another (totally awesome) five year old around me all day was noticeably disruptive to my daily energy flow.  I can't put the babies in the pram for a walk after a bad nap, because Isaac may not want to go for a walk.  Taking three small children out is harder than two babies, mostly because the five year old has wants and preferences.  Also, can walk and move.

He is also very helpful and lovely.  BUT I definitely felt the shock of realising I didn't have to just make it to nap time, or to Tuesday (nursery&school day) before I got some down time, but instead until some nebulous later date.  Perhaps the 20th of August, when our nanny starts? As soon as SUMMER began I started counting down till the end.

However things did get better!  Wednesday as a fun day where I went out with just Isaac and no babies, to a 1600's manor house where people dressed up and spoke as if they were in the 1600s. Isaac loved it.  At one point, the milking maid asked if anyone had any questions and Isaac asked what time lunch was.  He's not a big imagination kid.

My brother arrived Wednesday night, and it's great to watch how exhausting my kid filled life is through the eyes of other people.  He's been immensely helpful and is immensely exhausted himself.  There are a lot of small children.  We have done low key kid adventures, including taking a super belated July 4th photo for our family calendar:

Reading

I finished Happily Never After and decided I needed something a bit smarter than continual chick lit.  None of my holds came through but I found a copy of The Postcard which has been all over the blog-o-sphere.  It's definitely not light reading but it is very good.  I forgot that it was a holocaust narrative and... wow.  I'm 25% through it.  

Workouts

I was somewhat ill on Sunday and Monday (a sore throat and upset stomach... which is a very odd annoying combo).  

Tuesday: 1hr gym with gym buddy (Pull and Cardio)

Thursday: 10 minute meditation that turned into 8 minute nap

Wed-Sat: nothing besides the usual watching 4 small children all the time.

I mean, it's not a very inspiring workout schedule.  In theory I could be going for a run right now... but I'm not.  The combo of Isaac being off school + guest staying in my exercise room  has meant I just don't want to workout.  It turns out that about 90% of my workout joy is in the alone time in my office, and that shoving a 20 minute run in 30 minutes of childcare just doesn't sound fun to me.  But it's great having guests and Isaac will have some camp days next week so I am sure this is a blip in a soon active schedule.

Sleep

I averaged 7.5 hours of sleep last week. This included a firepit night where I stayed awake until 11!  Babies seems to be sleeping somewhat reliably till 5am now. We are inching closer to 6am.  Kids have been going to sleep by 7pm again which is also fantastic.  There have been some odd nighttime wake ups, including Andy coming back a late from night mountain biking, but overall I am definitely getting a manageable amount of sleep, even if I am expending an unmanageable amount of energy getting said sleep.

9pm to 5am from my time log:

Also, I did work towards one of my yearly goals this week - I made a charcuterie board!  We had a garden party (or rather a "come to my house and play in our paddling pool" party) and I was inspired to create the following kid snack tray:

Anyone can make a tray of fancy meats and cheeses, but only a real professional melts cheddar cheese onto pita bread.

Have you read The Postcard?  What's your favourite summer snack?

Sunday Update: Reading and Workouts and Sleep

Hey! It's Sunday!

We had a surprisingly productive weekend, which included a massive sort out of my office in preparation for an eventual room reshuffle.  Also, the kids have been staying awake far too late recently so I decided to switch their room layout from two separate beds to bunk beds in hopes that not seeing each other might cut down on the shenanigans.  It didn't instantly help, but it has meant that their room has a lot more space.  I've called it their summer room:

Old layout:

New layout:

Anyways, on to the anxiously awaited Reading, Workouts and Sleep Sunday Update!

Reading

This week I finished The Husbands.  I liked it!  I am not great at writing book reviews.  At first I had trouble getting into the fantasy element of it (I hate the idea of being in a new life that I don't know while everyone else lives their lives that they do know and thinks I am living my life normally to... if that makes sense?) but about halfway through I really got into the book.  And it managed to not be boring while still having a somewhat Groundhog day premise.

Then I learned that I had been using Libby wrong.  I thought that when a book became available I could either put it back on hold and stay in the queue or just do nothing and stay in the queue.  Apparently the doing nothing option actually deletes my hold.  So I went back through and re-held a number of items.  I sometimes couldn't decide which hold I wanted and I would just let the hold lapse, but I'll be better about changing the "deliver after" date from now on.  I pretty much use holds as my TBR (as well as a short TBR tab, and a much. larger "notify me when available" list).

Although I am first in line for a number of things I didn't have any holds come through in time for evening reading so I randomly checked out a skip the line copy of Happily Never After.  It was under the "popular now" section and fits my summer lighthearted chick lit reading.  I am enjoying it so far but will enjoy reading something a bit more cerebral or literary next. 

Workouts

It was a pretty good week for exercise culminating in a great 5k time for me!  I think there might be something to both strength training and interval training.  "Surprise!" says no fitness person ever.

Monday: 

    2.2 mile run (while listening to a Robin Arzon Peloton class).  

    50 minute workout at a friend's house (arms and core class from Courtney Black).  

    10 min Peloton Robin Arzon Postnatal Core 2 Class

    10 min Peloton Healthy Back Yoga class

Tuesday:
    15 min Peloton Arms & Shoulders with Tunde

    1 hour hike with a friend up and down a hill

Wednesday:

    1 hour gym session with gym buddy (Legs & Core)

    45 hour super casual bike ride out to dinner and back (22 minutes each way)

Thursday: 

    20 min Postnatal full body with Robin Arzon

Friday

    Watching all the small children all day (can't really call it rest)

Saturday

    Ran my local parkrun (5k Race) while listening to a Robin Arzon interval training program.  Strava gave me a 5k time of 29:20 which is among my best! Parkrun official time was 31:20 which is still pretty good. I felt really good and was able to increase and decrease the pace a number of times.  I got all introspective on how running doesn't get easier, I just get faster.  How twins don't necessarily get easier - I just somehow do more.  How I often look for sustainability in my running pace and in my life pace when actually sustainability might mean unsustainable efforts followed by more sustainable efforts.   It was a very introspective post run!

But also, these results.  Yay.

Sleep:

This week has been a fairly unsustainable one on the sleep front.  I stayed up late one night going out to dinner with a friend. The big kids have suddenly somehow realised that they don't have to fall asleep at 7pm and it's like the seal has been broken - they are sometimes up past 8:30 and it's driving me insane. I am generally having trouble sleeping past 4:30am, and often Audrey is up around that time and although she doesn't need me, hearing her chatting in her room makes it hard for me to fall back asleep.  She seems to fall back asleep just fine.

My average for this week has been 6.83 hours.

I've finally caught some sort of kid disease so I am hoping it doesn't last long.  Sore throats should be illegal in the summer.  All the kids currently have runny noses.  I had hoped that a good night of sleep would fix me, but unfortunately I was up with a sad Lilah and a grumpy Audrey last night.  Maybe tonight will be the night I get lots of sleep and feel better.  And if not, I will continue to thank the world for ibuprofin and coffee.  

Did you get enough sleep this week?  Have you read anything great in July?  Do you have kids and if so do they stay awake past 7pm and if so how do you have any grown up time??  Is ibuprofin your favourite painkiller?

Sunday Udpate: Reading & Workouts & Sleep

Let's just jump on the now famous Sunday Reading and Running and Eating posts from Jenny and SHU and San (among others I'm sure!). 

This week I finished The Idea of You by Robinne Lee.  I feel like this would have been a great book club pick because while I don't think it's a particularly good book I would really like to talk about it with someone.  The basic premise is that a 39 year old mom starts dating a 20 year old musician.  Did I dislike it because the characters were boring?  Did I dislike it because it was cleverly inverting the "older man younger woman" narrative, but I wouldn't read a book about an old man who dates a young hot rockstar so of course I didn't like the inverse?  Did I not like it because the characters seemed perpetually able to go out to dinner like normal people while also being "the most famous person in the world"?

Also it was made into a terrible looking movie starting Anne Hathaway.  How is Anne Hathaway 41 and how is she also so gorgeous?  And how did they make this book into a film because my other issue with this book is it goes a little too far down the 50 shades of grey route of sexiness.  

I have a 7 day loan of The Husbands now.  It's quirky and engaging so far.

Workouts

I am still really into my Peloton app.  I also have friend workouts which I LOVE.  Working out with friends is the best.   I love socialising over movement.  Maybe it's the whole "approaching 40" thing but if I would so rather meet someone for exercise (riding? Strength training? walking? random sports classes?) than dinner or drinks.

Monday

20 minute run listening to a Peleton Run by Andy Spear.  

30 minute Pilates from Kristin McGee

Tuesday 

30 minute Barre class with sports friend. 

30 minute quick walk with friend and babies in carriers 

90 minute walk pushing the pram because babies were very grumpy.

Wednesday

Nothing. Just normal heaving 40lbs of babies around all day

Thursday (I had childcare so it was all-out exercise day!)

1 hour Core and Cardio with gym buddy*

45 minute Peloton ride on friend's bike

15 minute Arms & Shoulders workout on Peloton app

20 minute incidental bike riding to friend's house

Friday

30 Minute Full Body Strength workout on Peloton App

10 Minute Postnatal Phase 2 workout on Peloton App

Saturday

30 minute interval run (Peloton app)

15 Minute Arms & Shoulders workout on Peloton app

I've been listening to Peloton running soundtracks and it turns out interval training *is* the way to get faster.  I was doing a speed walk from Robin Arzon on Saturday but used it for a bit of running intervals / jogging and was incredibly surprised to see the following on Strava after.

I always thought intervals needed to be log, but most of what I've done recently is 20 seconds to a minute.  

In case you're wondering, I have abandoned couch to 5k now.  Probably because I've done a 5k now.

The main reason I've been able to get this amount of excercise is due to having childcare (our weekly babysitter) and husband with a super flexible job so he can watch babies for an hour.  I don't know where exercise will fit when I go back to work... but that's not for 2 months.  Anyways, I am feeling really good about my current level of sport.  

Sleep

Time log shows 8.2 hours on average last week but currently 7.3 hours average for this week.  I need to go to bed early tonight.  Babies are still shenanigan-ing at night, but I am pretty sure we are going to be on better sleep soon.  No one is feeding at night anymore (since Tuesday).  They're just... somewhat awake sometimes.  Here's 8:30pm to 5:00am:

*gym buddy knows I like crazy workouts.  For this one, he hung upside down from a rack while I laid on the floor underneath.  He did a hanging crunch with a 6kg wall ball, then passed it down to me where I did a normal crunch, then I passed it back to him from the top of my crunch.  I'm sure we looked ridiculous but I felt SO COOL. 

Have you read The Idea of You?  Have you seen the film? Do you like social exercise?  If you could do dinner, drinks, or movement with your friends which would you pick?

Sunday Randomness - Hair, Running, Sleep, Food.

On Friday I decided it was time to cut Lilah's hair.  I set up mommy hair salon in the kitchen.  It included the following hair cut menu:

Lilah picked curly hair.  I cut it exactly as I planned to (slightly shorter than it was)

We are not a big TV family.  We watch half an hour sometimes before dinner, and sometimes a little more if we are watching a film in parts.  Although I have a tablet the kids have never seen me use it and I've told them that our tablet doesn't do TV.  I have a kindle which Lilah has tried and failed to play music on (somehow she did factory reset it once??)  I debated letting lilah watch TV while I cut her hair since daytime TV is a general no... but I decided there is no reward for cutting a kids hair while they flail about.  I put on Bluey and she sat SO STILL and I was able to actually measure and cut and it turned out pretty OK (I mean, it looks basically the same, but it way easier to comb).  Next time I do Isaac hair I will definitely be using tactical TV.

[Also, If I cut both kids hair, and Andy's hair, then I can *definitely* spend more money on my hair.  I'm also wondering whether my hair cuts (at £35) or colours (at £80 - but I've only done this once as I'm trying to grow out my natural colour now) should be going under a different budget category.  It currently sits in Rachel Hobbies... but is having decent hair a hobby or a requirement?  I do enjoy some parts of the hair cut, but if Andy could make my hair look as good as the hair dresser then I would be happy to not spend the money.  Things to ponder.]

Saturday was a rough morning.  We are trying to get Audrey to sleep longer and I'm trying to drop the 5am feed.  on Friday she did great.  On Saturday she decided she did not want to drop or shorten the 5am feed and she let the whole house know.  Everyone was awake from 5am onwards.  And I had foolishly tried to go back to sleep after she woke me at 4:30, which meant that when I was awake again at 5:30 I was extra annoyed.  My mantra is "there is no sleep past 4:30" because at 4:30 or 5:00am it's so easy (especially on a Saturday!) to think "if only I could have another hour of sleep!"... but realising there isn't another hour to be had takes that decision away.

I don't look at the sky at 9:30pm and ask for another hour of light.  I can't look at the clock at 5am and ask for another hour of sleep.

Also, there are always earlier bedtimes! There have been a slew of bedtime related posts recently on the internets which I am very much interested in.  Apparently 9pm is not the terribly early adult bedtime I thought it was.  For some reason I've always felt 10pm is a good solid adult bedtime.  But maybe 8-9 is the way forward.  Maybe evening social activities are not a thing of the late thirties and early 40s era of lots of young babies.

But back to Saturday.  Because everyone was in a terrible state we all stayed home, the babies went down for a nap early, and I decided to go to Parkrun - a free local 5K.  This is my first 5k since having the twins, and part of my goal of doing 4 5k races this year.  It went way better than expected, mainly because I ran right behind two runners who had a perfect 11:45 pace which kept me from going out too fast and then walking.  I didn't walk.  I actually felt good the whole way, and picked up the pace for the last quarter of a mile.

I came in at 35 minutes, which is basically the same time I had on my last Parkrun (early March 2023... right before I found out I was pregnant).  It's also the same time I had when I did a Parkrun 3 months postpartum with Isaac.  At least I'm consistant?

It's been a while since I've stuck a meal plan on here.  So why not?

Sunday: Fish Pie
Monday: Chicken & Mushroom Risotto
Tuesday: Tray bake (Aubergine? Chickpeas? Onion? Mushroom? I should have got tofu)
Wednesday: Toad in the hole
Thursday: Jacket Potatoes and Tuna or Beans
Friday: Macaroni and Cheese

This is a very aspirational meal plan, and I highly doubt we will actually make all these things.  Often one night becomes leftovers or something else easy.  The later in the week meals (Jacket Potatoes and mac and cheese) can always be moved into the future.

Also, although it's June, its raining and 65 degrees.  I bet you can tell it's not warm from that menu.   

What are you eating this week?  Is it raining where you are?  If you do a budget, where do you allocate your haircare?