I do not have super high expectations of myself. I want to rest and relax and tick a few niggles off my to-do list.
I started the day with an iced coffee and some planner fun:
I haven't been super good about keeping my work planner updated with all my maternity appointments, so today I realized I scheduled overlapping appointments and have managed to change one to not overlap. I'm very lucky I get paid time off for all my maternity appointments as I have A LOT right now. I'm hoping it settles down soon... but I'm not *really* sure where that hope comes from since it will probably only ramp up from 30 weeks onwards.
One of the bad news/good news things about being pregnant is that I don't sleep well (bad) but that means I'm getting lots of reading done (good!). I just read How to keep House while Drowning by KC Davis. It was interesting and short but as a person who is pretty good at keeping tidy I don't think too much was applicable to me, although it's definitely a good reminder that I can let things go when twins are here. Also, I love having a cleaner and will certainly hire more help if I need to. I should probably get the kids to work on their tidying better.
This weekend I was with friends who started talking about how they would rather have fun than have a clean house. I totally understand this... but I also find having a clean (or at least organized) house allows me to have more fun. I hate spending time looking for things and I don't like having things on counters or piles that don't have a home. I know that my house is on the more organized side of the young children years... but I also think it stays organized because my kinds are not always home. I don't know how anyone with stay at home kids can keep a house clean. It seems impossible to me.
My fun thing plan for today is to do a yoga video, sort out the many things not in their place in the house, and make dinner. Unfortunately in recent tragic house news our new dishwasher broke - I think it's faulty and the warranty repair person is coming to look tomorrow. Fingers crossed they are able to repair it quickly... I am too pregnant to do dishes. Plus now that I've got the sweet taste of dishwasher life I don't want to go back to the old ways.
I will do a full weekend glamping holiday report soon, but the short version is, we loved it! Kids loved it. Andy loved not packing tents and sleeping bags. I loved having an outdoor shelter/kitchen area to cook in. All of us sleeping in the same room wasn't too bad. We probably won't be doing another holiday for a while, so this was a great farewell to holiday life (for now).
I wasn't a very tidy kid or teen, but the older I get and after having kids (and often parenting solo) having a tidy space is CRITICAL for my mental health. I like to think I do a lot of fun things, but I 100% don't enjoy those experiences as much if I know our home is a mess to come back to.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, some of our closest friends are ALL about adventure and their house is always cluttered and even on the dirty side. I am quasi-jealous they can so easily overlook the clutter and just leave their house in that state to head out on spontaneous trips. BUT, I have to be true to my personality and that means keeping a short lease on messes and regularly tidying.
You took the words right out of my mouth. SAME.
DeleteLook, I'll certainly let housework slide if there's something special going on but YES having a clean and organized home base makes for a better quality of life all around. It just such an energy suck to have a mess everywhere that you look.
ReplyDeleteHappy day off! I'm sitting here hiding from work while I catch up on the blogs.
I started that book but just like you I am tidy/organized and I actually DNFed it because (1) she was not telling me anything new and (2) in the first chapter she said that if you can't find time to donate your stuff to goodwill just throw it away in the trash. NO. I am sorry, but NO. You cannot fill up the landfill just because you can't stop at Goodwill. You can find a friend to help or just wait until you have time or give them to a neighbor but NO to putting it into the trash.
ReplyDeleteI am a fan of adventure AND a tidy house; I don't think they are mutually exclusive. I think the key to tidy is to stay on it little by little. If you always put the item back where it goes, you will not only be able to find it next time but you will not have to put it and a hundred other things away when you are feeling tired or you want to go out and have fun. So I choose both --- fun and tidy. It is possible.
I think I stuck with the book because it was short... and because I found it interesting to understand how less tidy people function and how they might struggle with things that I find easy. But yeah, I always do struggle with the border between "self compassion" and "no just drop things at goodwill". We only have very limited trash bin space so we couldn't possibly throw things away if there was another way to dispose of it... otherwise we would have to pay a lot more for more garbage space.
DeleteBut also, I'm definitely an "over donate-er" - I have asked whether it's OK to put in clothes that I don't think can be resold and I think the shops here have agreements with other organizations to sell scrap fabric by the pound.
Today I was at the local thrift store and I saw a set of bookends I recently dropped off for sale for £5. I bought the bookends for £1.95 from another charity shop, then donated when I decided they didn't really work. I was also excited to find out the charity furniture shop sold our table for £200 - we bought it 5 years ago second hand for £120.
That is exactly why I donate. I also read that some places will refurbish old electronics and donate them to schools etc. I would rather give the stuff to them and have them decide whether or not it is trash! I have heard horror stories of jeans etc. in landfills (and jeans are recyclable). I am trying hard not to be part of that.
DeleteI breezed through KC Davis' book and reflected upon it here: https://momofchildren.wordpress.com/2023/05/03/april-reading/
ReplyDeleteI am neurotypical so cleaning comes easy to me but there were bits that I could use as well.
For some reason I can only see your reviews of books 1 and 2 on the blog - it might be my computer though. That's a really interesting month of reading!
DeleteI am *not* a tidy person but my Husband is, so I appreciated the part in the book where she says housework is morally neutral because I always felt like it was a failing that I didn't prioritize keeping the house tidy. Being home with the kids these past weeks - the house has definitely devolved into a bit of a pit and I'm finding it hard to keep up because I find it exhausting physically to do it all myself and emotionally to have the kids do it.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the dishwasher! Ours was out of commission for a week and a half recently - so many dishes! We did give in towards the end and just ate off paper plates.
When my Husband and I were in therapy it came up that I would rather cuddle the baby than clean and he would rather clean than cuddle the baby. It was such an interesting revelation to me.
Interesting! I think I would rather clean than cuddle a baby.. depending on how messy my house is. I totally get the physical vs mental exhaustion. Today the kid spend 45 minute slowly putting their toys away because I said we couldn't do art until their toys were away. I had to keep reminding them which toys were still out... it's like they had toy blinders on.
DeleteI do try to keep the house clean/organized, but I also don't have kids, so it's a lot easier (I am assuming).
ReplyDeleteI hate cleaning and tidying up it sure is nice when it is done. I just recently listend to the audiobook "how to keep house while. drowning" and as you said there were some good reminders and hidden nuggets but overall I felt it was a bit lax on using resources. I can't get behind just washing one shirt if it is your laundry day. It bothered me.
ReplyDelete