Case in point: when Isaac turned 3 he really really wanted grapes and Banana for Christmas. He opened his grapes and banana with glee, then took it to the kitchen to eat it and forgot about the rest of the toys.
When Lilah turned 3, she had a wish list that included "A giant dolls house, a scooter, two chocolate cakes, dolls"
For me, Santa was NBD (no big deal) because growing up I celebrated Hanukkah and not Christmas, so all Christian things (Santa included) were not for us. We never had an opinion on the reality of Santa, because we had eight nights of presents to look forward to, so dudes coming down other people's chimneys were not particularly interesting.
I resolved that we weren't going to be a Santa family. We have a Christmas tree (very little this year, because twins).
Santa seemed like extra effort I didn't want to go to, and neither did my husband. Do you have to write "to kid, love Santa" on a card?? Do some presents come from parents and some from Santa? Do we have to hype up Santa?
It turns out, we do not have to hype up Santa, or do anything Santa, to bring the magic of Santa to live. Although Andy did sprinkle some toast crumbs around the fire place (to look like soot) and I did throw the reindeer food in the compost (It got eaten!).
As we put out the presents I asked Andy if we needed to write "From Santa' on one. "no" he said "kids don't read labels, and they don't care"
And it's true! They don't' care! they saw a bunch of presents and thought Santa had come. Maybe I'm going down a path of chaos and lies, but it's cute. And low effort. And I guess we are a Santa house now.
How Santa is your house? Am I telling lies to my kids such that they will never trust me again or am I bringing the magic to life? Or am I teaching them that they inferred "Santa" and it wasn't my construction at all, and perhaps giving them an early lesson in perception bias? Or, perhaps more likely, am I overthinking it all?
I think this might be a repeat story, so bear with me, but I thought that the way my husband handled Santa with the boys was brilliant. When they started to ask questions, he told them that "Santa is real if you believe in him".
ReplyDeleteI remember being a bit traumatized when I learned that Santa wasn't real and then getting in trouble for spilling the secret to another kid. But I survived! The bottom line is that it's fun.
The tinkerbell explanation! I love it! I guess maybe there is no right or wrong way to Santa...
DeleteNeither of my kids have ever believed in Santa. We were of the mind we wouldn't encourage or discourage. But when she was about 3, our daughter asked if Santa was real and we weren't going to lie so we said No. By the time our son came along there really wasn't much of a chance for him to believe and I don't think either of my kids feels like they've missed out on anything! They are very good about not spilling the beans, but it's always hilarious when people ask them what they want from Santa; when they were little they'd look at us and wonder what to say!
ReplyDeleteI believed a bit longer, but looked out and saw my parents filling stockings one Christmas morning so that was the end of that! And I learned about the tooth fairy when I heard a whole bunch of money clatter to the kitchen floor and then a few minutes later my Dad came into my room and lifted up my pillow...and put money under it. I was young, but very much smart enough to figure out the correlation!
And our kids have never believed in the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy or the Elf on the Shelf! I will say I think it makes Christmas easier for parents?
Wow your daughter is astute! I don't think I would tell my kids that Santa isn't real, but I did say he doesn't come to our house. So it's kind of on them that they inferred he did haha.
DeleteMy son LOVES being right, so I know if I told him that Santa isn't real he would tell EVERYONE at school and I don't want to be the mom of "that kid". I think I'll stick with "he doesn't come to our house"
Haha about the money clattering! Parents can be so un-stealthy (me definitely included!)
You are bringing magic to life but I think one gift, or a banana, is enough magic. We all learn the truth eventually but in my house (brother and I are in our 40s and have no kids) we still have presents from "Santa" but we know who really got them. However, it's still a lot of fun!
ReplyDeleteAww cute that you do grown up presents from Santa! It does sound fun.
DeleteMy husband was devastated when he found out about Santa. I was raised without, as my mom felt like it was lying to us. So we raised our daughter without. She REALLY wanted to believe for a bit there, when kids at school were so excited about Santa. Would the magic have been more fun? Perhaps. I don't know that we need magic for Christmas though. I'm happy to have family and friends, good food and fun.
ReplyDeleteOut of curiosity how do you do Christmas without Santa? DId you tell her Santa wasn't real, or didn't go to your house? I thought we were doing no santa until the kids yelled "SANTA CAME!" When they saw presents.
DeleteI agree - Family friends food and fun IS magic, really.