July 22, 2026

Twin sleep updates, bedtime improvement plan, 10% of my waking life is too much time spent on someone else's sleep.

Elisabeth is recapping her Cardiff visit over on her blog - it seems crazy that it was over a month ago she was here!  She recently posted about our trip to St. Fagans, which is my all time favourite museum.  I also can't believe a month ago I had two helpers for twin nursery and lunch.  

In some ways, I feel like Elizabeth's trip was the start of the twins being interesting little people.  I know that sounds terrible, but for me, twins are hard. It was hard to experience them as little people and not just moving bundles of need.  There are so many needs! Clara is especially clumsy, and can trip over nothing, and can be (understandably!) upset about it.  Aubrey is generally so happy, but also know her mind, and know the right way to do anything.  Clara is far more experimental.  Between them, there can be very strong (and very loud) disagreement on many things

However, recently, there is also a lot of fun.   They talk to each other! They build magna tile castles together! They play funny games and chose their own entertainment and sometimes can entertain themselves for 15 or 20 minutes.

They play with the big kids sometimes

They are really cute
Anyways - one thing Elisabeth's post made me realize is that it has now been almost two months of terrible horrible no good very bad bedtimes.  So while they are becoming cute little people, their bedtimes are a growing source of frustration.

When Elisabeth was here we were working on twin bedtime - they had just moved out of cribs in May (for safety reasons - I would keep crib to 5 if I could!) and every night was a long long bedtime battle/process that was just... bad.

Plus, we have 2 other kids to get to bed.   Crib bedtime started at 6:45 for twins, 7:15 for Lily, 7:30 for Ezra, and everyone was generally asleep by 8pm (one parent could usually start tidying up at 7:30).  Bedtimes for everyone were now taking a lot longer - and sometimes twin bedtime pushed big kid bedtime back to the point that no one was able to start dinner clean up until 8:30 or 9. 

Like all good problems, bedtime needed a spreadsheet.  


It was easy to see why Andy and I were starting to lose the plot - bedtime was taking an average of 1hr 15 minutes.  Every week, we were spending 8 or more hours of our life putting twins to sleep.  7% to 10% of the waking day was used "doing bedtime"

Neither Andy or I have done an evening activity in 2 months, Andy quit his run club, I barely made it to one book club, we missed our dinner date, we barely maintained a basic FLOM (we were so wiped out from bedtime that we couldn't really plan), I went to the office once since moving to beds.  It has been, honestly, bad.

Yesterday we devised a bedtime improvement plan.  I am cautiously optimistic.  There was some crying yesterday, but not a lot, and bedtime took 30 minutes, not 90 minutes.  I remember reading once that when it comes to kids sleep there is time and crying and you can chose one or the other or both. I don't have time for both.  

Fingers crossed for better bedtimes. It will be way more fun to enjoy time with fun little people when I know the fun will end with sleep. 

7 comments:

  1. I hope your new bedtime plan works. That is a long time to spend on bedtimes and like I've said before, you are at the low point energy-wise, so there should be a multiplier to account for how exhausted and worn out you are! I think the multiplier should be 1.5.

    We kept our kids in their crib for as long as possible, too! I definitely did not want to move them before they dropped their nap since I liked having them, well, caged in as bad as that might sound? Neither of them figured out that they could climb out of their crib. So they moved at 3.5-4 years of age. My parents definitely made some comments about our oldest being too old for a crib but oh well. Judge away!

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    1. I am all about the crib - my son was in a crib untill at least 3, he was so happy in his crib so I had no interest in moving him! He even used to climb safely in and out of his crib so we let him do it, we just moved him eventually when he broke a slat haha.

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  2. Uff, you’re basically putting FOUR kids to bed, although I am sure the twins take up most of the time… what a challenging evening routine. I hope it gets better. It’s interesting to hear how different Aubrey and Clara are… it’s the same with me and my sister. Same environment, totally different personalities. Ha.

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    1. It's so interesting to me how different they are - they really are just siblings born on the same day. It's cool to watch them grow up and I I'm excited to see what they're like when they're older too :-)

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  3. Bedtime is exhausting. I will say that we definitely let our kids cry some at bedtime, but it's admittedly a completely different ball game with two kids at the same stage AND in the same room.
    I'm glad you have a new game plan and hope that it all smooths out quickly. That is a lot of waking hours devoted to trying to get kids... unawake.

    I cannot believe this time last month we were just finishing up our 36 Questions with Belle. Gah. Time is flying.

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    1. Aww that was a fun night! Probably my most recent drink at a pub as well... and it wasn't even a beer. But the company (mouse exempted) was excellent!

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  4. Oh bedtime battles! Are the twins still napping? We’ve only got one (she’ll turn 3 in October) and I can empathize with your 1.5h bedtimes. You have my heart for doubling the toddler quotient plus two big kids! So much bedtime!

    If your kids still nap I wonder if you’re trying for too early a bedtime? I know it’s not your first rodeo so I’m loathe to even offer a hypothesis! My daughter still naps and is up by 3pm latest. Bedtime has crept after 9pm and I think it’s likely to remain late until she drops her nap. My husband and I were just reminiscing about evenings the other day… 😂

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