5 on a friday - sickness, planning, shopping, and shopping

5 Quick things during twin nap:

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This week the vomiting bug moved from Aubrey to Clara, who suffered from Wednesday onwards.  Aubrey has been tired and off her food, Clara has been sick... it's a bit of a sickness house.  Thankfully our fabulous nanny has been watching them in the day, although I did decide she had gone above the call of duty when Clara threw up on her so finished work early to take over.  There are lots of nice things about having a nanny - I came downstairs to find Clara cuddling her on the sofa.  She didn't seem sad, or like she needed me.  Having additional emotionally available caregivers for kids is great.

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On Thursday I was supposed to be in London for a leadership meeting.  I left the house at 6am, got to the train station, and the car park was full.  This has never happened to me before.  I went to another train station but the next train was delayed and I realized at that point I wasn't going to make it to London in time for the meeting.  at 7:30am I got back to the house, to the surprise of everyone.  Andy was particularly happy because poor Clara had a nappy blowout in the night and required a bath and full clothing change.  I was sad to miss the London day, but next time I'll take a taxi or a bus or park at my local station.  It just means an even earlier start.

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When getting dressed for London I realized that nothing I own fits me right now.  I'm going through a... less trim phase.  Also, I'm 41 now.  Maybe the dresses that suited me 5 years ago just... don't.  I did some research on workwear and decided I needed a few new pieces to sort out my wardrobe.  Mostly - a blazer.  I have a black blazer but it's very "interview" and I do not work at "interview" job.  Everyone is pretty casual, but I like to dress a bit more business when I go into the office.  Fun fact - when I first met Kyria (on my way back from the office) she said "oh you look like a grown up" which I love because that is the aesthetic I am going for in work.  Someone who is a grown up.

I've ordered these to try:

I also need some new work shoes, because I'm not super into my ballet flats anymore.  I'm not sure if these will look grannie on me or smart professional, but I am hoping it's the latter

I also am excited to announce that I own some sweatpants (or Joggers, as is British) now! I am very happy to have added soft fuzzy trousers to my rotation.  For a person who spends as much time at home with toddlers as I do it seems insane that I did not own "soft trousers" (as Ezra calls them)

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Today was week 4 of 2.5 hours nursery for the twins on a friday and the potential for 2.5 hours of Rachel time!  Just to recap

Week 1 - did not make it to nursery due to very bad morning trying to get kids out the door

Week 2 - Twins went to Nursery while Andy and I did home stuff

Week 3 - Clara was ill (fever)

Week 4 - Clara was (recovering from vomitting bug)

I'm not having great luck with Rachel Days, but Clara did watch me try on clothes and sort laundry so that was nice.  

We also went to the big Sainsburys and bought wrapping paper and boxers and toilet bowl cleaner, so that feels like a big accomplishment.

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Today is Best Laid Plans book launch day in the UK! I know it's been out for like a month elsewhere, but I am excited and hoping it will be the kick I need to sort my planning system out so my brain stops being overfull all the time.  I actually did a "brain dump" today and there's just... a lot.  But also, what am I supposed to do with this brain dump? Keep working on things? Some of it is to do, some is thoughts, some is... just randomness.  

I generally don't use Amazon but I got a voucher for participating in an inclusive design study about mobility and access to public spaces with twins. I didn't realize I would get a voucher, I was just excited to participate. But then I used the voucher to pre-order Best Laid Plans so it was a win win win win.

8pm EDIT: Amazon drivers work late! So do Waitrose grocery delivery drivers.  Time to enjoy a super classy Friday night...

Organize 365 had an awesome podcast today about mental load and memory.  I am currently loving Lisa's podcasts.   

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And the twins are up!  This weekend is a funny one, it feels like there's not much scheduled but also not much me time.  Not sure where to go with that.  On Saturday we have Tennis in the morning (and I get a 30 minute Rachel coffee and walk!) then I am taking Lily to the pool with her best friend and then having the friend and parents over for pizza dinner.  On Sunday I have just Clara all day and no car, so I'm not sure what we will do.  We could take a bus! or a train? I don't really have a great idea for entertainment, but if all goes well I'll have a 2 hour nap of Rachel time to... do Peloton? blog? read? finish photo albums (currently 2 months behind)? Take a nap? Plan? read Best Laid Plans?  The world is my oyster... in a very time limited way.

What are you up to this weekend?  What would you do with a 2 hour twin nap on Sunday? Any workwear style advice for me??

Birthday Update - Cake, Shopping, Films, Fun, and some mild sickness.

My birthday sort of started Saturday night - Andy and I watched a film! We saw the new Naked Gun and it was funny and reminded me of the old Naked Gun films and how much I loved them as a kid.

We also opened a nice bottle of wine our friends brought us from the States when they visited in 2022.  It's from our favourite winery in Washington - AniChe - and it was delicious even if we could probably improve our wine storing situation.

Unfortunately on Saturday night Aubrey was sick in her crib, so at 1am we did a full bedding change and then went back to bed.

On my actual birthday (Sunday) and the big kids were very excited about the concept of breakfast in bed.  Lily (5) didn't want to sleep late so woke me up at 6:15 asking if it was the morning.  Andy brought me coffee in bed, which he used to do every day before we had kids and oh wow is coffee in bed a great way to start a day.  Then the kids brought me breakfast, which was porridge since Lily recently learned how to microwave porridge in school.  I had a lie in reading until nearly 7:45am.  I can't believe that sort of relaxation was daily before.

Big kids made some decorations to celebrate

I took the big kids to swim lessons, and then got home and had a cuddle with Aubrey definitely wasn't feeling great.  She proceeded to vomit on me, but luckily we had been given a washable fleece blanket and most of the vomit went on that and me rather than the sofa, which is great because washing our sofa is hard.  Aubrey and Clara lazed about on me, the kids made a pirate ship, Aubrey was sick some more, and the birthday proceeded roughtly as I thought it would

Twins went to sleep around 11am (early!) and the rest of us had lunch and then the kids watched a film while I did a Peloton ride.  I had planned some live rides for my birthday (forever chasing the shout outs, still never had one) but there was a big storm in the US and all live rides were cancelled.  Sad!  

After Peloton I took Clara, Ezra, and Lily to a friends house for a play date and dinner. She made Fajitas, which are my favourite, and my most favourite chocolate cake from Anna Jones.

I called my family and then was in bed reading by 9pm.  

On Monday I had the day off work (my work gives "Birthday Leave" which is awesome) and I had planned to go to town to try and buy some much needed clothes.  Aubrey was still not 100% but wasn't being ill anymore, so she had a quiet day with Nora and our Nanny and I took the train to Cardiff.  It turns out, buying clothes is really hard! Unlike the internet, stores don't always have all the sizes of things. Also, it's not like I can filter "Jeans" - I had to look in a lot of places.  Finally I went to the old standby of Marks and Spencers and found two styles that suit me and bought one of each, and then wrote down the size and style for future shopping.

I met up with a friend for lunch which was awesome, and finally went to a makeup store to buy some ilia foundation which I had run out of.  It was my lucky day because the foundation was on sale! So I also bought a Ilia multi stick.  The shop gave me birthday samples and they had a promotion where I could spin a wheel to win prizes, and I spun to the diamond prize which meant I got three prizes, and it all felt very "Birthday"

I went home to finish my shopping list and ordered some more jeans and some sweatpants and vitamins and a few things from Lush as the remainder of my birthday presents to myself.  Yes, 41 is the glamourous year of sweat pants and vitamin based gifts! 

Overall it was not a crappy birthday, which is a weird thing to say when I was actually vomited on, but mostly I'm happy that January is almost over and we are getting 3 minutes of extra daylight every day (if it stopped raining enough to see the sun) and within a month it will be light at 7am which is the right time for the sun to come up (not 8am like it did on my birthday).

Saturday Confessional - Things that are not going great

Kid art is going great and not related to this post

Hi! My name is Rachel and if I wasn't me I would compare myself to me and feel bad about it. (EDITED TO ADD: what I meant was that when I read my own posts sometimes I think "oh wow that person has it all together!" and then I realize that person is me and I do not have it all together.  It wasn't meant to imply anyone should feel bad about not being me... if I was less tired I could think of a better way to word it.)

I do try to do a good job blogging the bummer bits of life, as well as the good bits.  I have no problem with stream of consciousness "parenting is hard" posts.  But then, sometimes parenting isn't as hard and things can still feel blerg.

Here are some non parenting things that are not going great:

Sleep

Yesterday one of my happy things was my current reading life.  I *am* reading a lot now and that's great! But one of the main ways I get lots of reading done is by waking up multiple times a night and not being able to get back to sleep... I hate 3:30am on the clock.  We've also had some kids wake ups on top of the me wake-ups.  I was at about 6.5 hours average sleep for the past 2 weeks and that is not enough sleep for me.

Last night I slept through the night and it was great.  

Exercise

My exercise is going OK this year but only on work days, I cannot figure out how to fit movement into kid days.  I mean, I could be doing exercise right now instead of blogging, but I'm not.  Sometimes, at great effort, I get a 30 minute Peloton ride in during twin nap while the big kids watch a film with Andy.  It's a lot of effort for 30 minutes of sport.  So at most, I am exercising well on 4/7 days, and fewer if I go to the office.

Mornings

Maybe it's the aforementioned sleep, but I cannot get up in the morning.  I used to be a 5am morning person.  Now I wake up around 6 or 6:20 and then don't want to get out of bed and then sometimes do get out of bed but don't want to start anything I like doing (ie a blog post) because any kid could get up at any time.  This morning I got up at 6am and started writing this blog and now twins are awake at 6:30 and I don't know why because this is so early for them.  

In general I would rather not try to have morning time than try and fail to have morning time.

Birthdays 

I have a weird relationship with birthdays.  I don't think I really care about birthdays, but also last year I did the ultimate not caring and didn't really celebrate my birthday at all.  It was my 40th and it was on a Saturday.  I took Lily to a play date with people I didn't know very well and didn't mention it was my birthday.  Lily did mention it, which was awkward.  I did a Peloton ride with a friend which was fun and we had the same friend over for pizza which was fun but it all felt a bit... forced?  Or like it wasn't measuring up to some birthday metric, doing a live peloton ride at 9am shouldn't need to be reserved for a 40th birthday, and neither should eating pizza with friends.  But also, I didn't plan anything better or more, and didn't have the headspace to plan, so that turned out to be my 40th.  A mostly at home day.

In retrospect, I didn't want to be disappointed with my 40th so I pretty much planned for disappointment and it was all exactly as planned.  Is that success?  It felt like even more pressure at the time because it was my 40th birthday and it was on a Saturday.  People asked if I was having a party.  I generally didn't tell anyone it was my birthday.

AI has now informed me that I will never have a round number birthday on a Saturday again.  My next Saturday birthday will be my 140th.  If I want to celebrate a milestone on a weekend, my next "milestone" birthday will be my 75th on Sunday January 25th, 2060.  

All this to say, Birthdays are odd.  I would love to be a Birthday person who plans a big things and enjoys stuff, but I am not that.  Maybe it's because January isn't the time for planning big things?

After some more AI-ing it appears my 45th birthday is a Friday.  Maybe that birthday will involve a trip somewhere sunny.

Photo Albums

After 5 years of consistently updating my photo albums monthly I am just... behind.  I havent started the kids new albums (each kid gets their own album which runs from birthday to birthday).  Lily's needs updating from September, the rest from October.  I fished all their current albums and then... stopped.  Our family album runs through November (not as bad as I thought!) but needs December adding and then Printing.  It just feels like... a lot.  

I could stop now, but it also feels a bit unfair that the big kids will get yearly albums from ages 0-7 and 0-5 and the twins will get 0-2 only.  I think I need to carve out some time to just get caught up.  Once caught up it's about an hour or an hour and a half a month.

Social Life

This is totally on me - I am tired.  I don't feel like seeing people and doing stuff.  Over Christmas I think we had one too many play dates and my desire to "hang out" went negative.  Normally I am all over the "people are a good use of time" mentality.  I usually love having people over, doing stuff with people, going out to a meal, grabbing a coffee... but right now my social battery feels drained.  And then I feel worse because I have texts from people I like wanting to hang out and the limiting factor to our hang outs is... me.  I hope I get back to social soon.

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I'll stop there on my list.  I've got no great solutions, but I have started time tracking again because I am feeling very time pressured (and like I have no me time) and I'm sure that's not true.  Hopefully I'll get some more time & energy soon and then I can tackle some of the above. 

Do you have things that are not going great? Want to swap some things with me? Are you a birthday person?

Friday update, house goals, food things, and some happy things

Last week Andy and I took Friday off to get house projects done. It was great.  We had goals of mounting 3 shelves and 3 pegboards and instead mounted 1 shelf and no pegboards, but it didn't matter because mostly it was a really nice at home day and we haven't had one of those in ages.  When Andy used to work from home we could sometimes get things done midday... now he's in an office fulltime and it feels like things just build up.

We "finished" Ezra's room with the addition of the shelf and wall sticker:

The boy loves a cluttered aesthetic.  

I cleaned out our "pantry" shelves (which are actually bathroom cupboards we mounted in the dining room)

I threw away poppyseeds that expired in 2021 and sesame oil that expired in 2023. I chucked away some spices that were over a year out of date and put chutneys and jams in the fridge so we will eat them and not just save them forever.  I also baked my Trader Joes Pumpkin Bread I had been saving for a special occasion.  Trader Joes Pumpkin Bread is magic.

Because of the reshuffle I could move the pasta "backstock" from the kitchen shelves to the "pantry" and make room for the air frier!

I am loving having an air frier.  Really we would need a bigger one but I have been eating more veggies because I can quickly make roast veg just for me and I love roast veg.  For example, I added a pepper and mushrooms to this leftover fish curry to make it extra veggies:

There's no way I would turn on the oven just to roast some peppers and mushroom.  But the air frier is easy.  I know it's basically a tiny version of our oven, but it's cheaper and faster and less cleaning and I am here for it.

Speaking of cooking, I made a Lasagne!  I made this 30 plant Lasagne. It was in a magazine.  It wasn't the best Lasagne but the fact that it's even possible to make a lasagne means life less chaos than it used to be.  I even made a white sauce.  Are you so impressed?

In other news, Aubrey and Clara have started 2.5 hours of nursery on a Friday now.  It started last week, so of course Clara is now ill and missed nursery today.  It's still calmer being home with one two year old than with two of them.  Especially in this moment, where I am writing this blog post, and Clara is having a snooze next to me:

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I have a million half written blog posts in my head, but days have been so busy recently. But in honor of Elisabeth, here are some quick HAPPY THINGS:

• I picked up a set of super fancy montessori toys at the charity shop - these are about £100 new and I got them for £12

• Most of the kids are healthy right now
• My reading year has started strong - I've finished 3 books so far.  
• I got invited to a book club! I've wanted to be in a book club forever and I'm super pleased to be invited
• I've managed Peloton a few times this week
• I've got a new make-ahead lunch staple that I'm enjoying - Fruit, Yogurt, and a bunch of nuts and seeds (Chia, Hemp, Flax)
• The big kids are doing great in new swim lessons and are actually learning how to swim
• I'm enjoying Saturday morning tennis - kids have a 1 hour lesson and I get a 30 minute walk, a latte, and 30 minutes of watching a bunch of kids "play tennis"
• It's my birthday on Sunday and as I was writing the postman brought me a delivery of my favourite cake - thanks mom!
• My work gives us a day of leave for our birthday so I have Monday off work with childcare.  Time is an awesome gift.

How was your week? What is your favourite cake? Do you take (or get) a day off for your birthday?

Budget Fun Time! Where our money went in 2025

It's budget fun time!

Andy and I keep a budget in excel. We make a best guess at what life will cost (based on last year) and then we live our life.  I think rather than "budget" I track "where our money went".  

We track expenses but not income and take a monthly snapshot of our cash position to make sure we are not going bankrupt slowly or quickly. 

Here's where our money went in 2025:

Categories as follows:

Groceries (10%). Online grocery order, butcher, local shop.  Occasional alcohol if Andy and I are drinking together or having wine at home.  We try to buy sustainable and organic and so probably spend a lot more here than we could.  But we also try to buy on sale and don't each much meat.  Overall, food costs what it costs.

Andy and Rachel Fun Together (1%) We started this category last year because it was our 10 year anniversary and we both turned 40.  We had fun together, we went out to eat, we went mountain biking.  We went climbing.  It was a good budget item.

Bills (20%) Includes gas, electricity, council tax, car tax... all the bills.  about 50% of this is our mortgage, which we are trying to overpay but still have at least 5 years left.

Dining Out (2%) This is mostly cafes for lunch or coffees. Dining out is only applicable if we are eating with other members of the family - if we eat out alone or with friends it's a hobby budget item.  And if we eat out together then it's a "fun together" item.  We went out to lunch once this year (as a family) but we do go out to a coffee shop with the kids fairly often.

House (4.5%) We thought of the house things we wanted to do and then did a bunch of other things last year.  We got a new washer, we replaced our bath panel, we bought a stupidly expensive bin (trash can) because it fits the exact space and has 3 compartments for our new multi-recycling system.  We split the cost of trimming trees with our neighbour.  We got a new hoover, and we built a ground frame for our outdoor slide.  There was a lot of house expense.

Clothes (2%) We just don't buy a lot of clothes.  But also... we look like we don't buy a lot of clothes.  We sort of want to spend more here because both Andy and I can look a bit un-put-together.  I buy all the kids clothes second hand and manage a very complicated clothing rotation system but I don't have good luck second hand clothes shopping for me.

Misc (1%) This is basically photo albums, holiday cards, and stamps.

Transport (2.5%) This is petrol, parking, train or bus tickets, and some bike things for Andy's commuter bike (and his waterproof commuting jacket)

Rachel & Andy Hobbies (7%) Hey, we had a lot of hobbies and a lot of fun this year! We intentionally gave ourselves big allowances this year.  I sometimes get apple music, I sometimes get massages, I sometimes go swimming, I go to the gym, I buy new running shoes.  It was a bumper hobby year for Year of 40.  We expect to spend less in 2026.

Entertainment (1%) We usually get Disney+ or another streaming service in the winter.  This also covers entry to museums, our castle membership, and other entertaining things (theatre tickets etc)

Kids (3.75%) This is stuff just for the kids, like swim lessons, tennis lessons, if we go to soft play or something that is mainly for kids.

Child Care (33%) This is insane to me.  Here's an article about how childcare costs in the UK are the second most expensive in the world.  And here's a BBC article about how childcare in Wales is more expensive than the rest of the UK.  I realize we have 4 kids and a nanny and a bunch of childcare, but we also still barely make it work with being in work.  I feel so lucky I have a job where I can afford childcare, and I also feel that having a the resources to have a job (as a woman) shouldn't be something I have to be grateful for in 2026.  

Gifts (1.5%) This year I decided to be more generous with gifts for people.  I don't know if I feel like a better person because of it, but I do feel like I've spent less mental energy on gifts now that I'm not trying to buy to a budget (ie if I see something someone will like I buy it for them).  Or if someone at work is leaving or having a baby I'll just give them £5 or £10.

Health & Personal Care (1.75%) We have the NHS and a lot of healthcare is free (as long as you can wait 20 years) but some stuff (dentist) still costs money.  Also toothpaste and vitamins etc  go here.  And my haircuts and hair dyes because if Andy would learn how to cut hair then I wouldn't need to pay someone to do it for me. I cut everyone else's hair (although my hairdresser sometimes cuts my daughters hair for free because she is lovely) (my daughter and my hairdresser are lovely)

Holiday (8.5%) We booked A LOT of travel for 2026! We have already booked France in Feb (me and the big kids), Portugal in March/April, Austria (just Andy and big kids), Camping in July.  Also, last year we went to Sweden! Andy took Ezra to Birmingham and I took Lily to Bath overnight.  And our Christmas away was also not cheap.  But it's all fun, and I'm super excited for holiday times.  ! 

Do you budget? Do you try and stick to certain amounts of spending or do you track what you spend or neither? Do you have budget goals?  

2026 goal - build a better organisational system for my life - a bloggy rant about planning and an overfull brain.

Our garden is the perfect representation of how my current life organization feels

One of my goals for next year is to get organized.

I feel like people say all the time "oh you are so organized" and while I do somewhat agree, I also feel like it's out of necessity and effort rather than a state of being.  

Like when I am a runner or doing a half marathon I am not actually that fit, I am just a person who does a lot of running.  That's how I feel about my planning right now... I'm not necessarily good at it, I just do a lot of it.

I carry a million things in my head all the time (which might be why my head kind of reaches its limit, and then instead of being nice to my kids I use all my brain resource to plan 100 meals and packed lunches and school pick ups... and so then when someone needs something (like basic human niceness) I don't have that thing because I already used up all my things with a million other things.)

And I know this is all a bit twee because there is a literal book about how to plan your life now but it's not out in the UK until Feb so blargh.

I started reading "Rest" recently because I probably need to. (I probably need to both rest and read the book Rest)

I've long realized that one of the problems with my current way of managing the million spinning plates is that it is highly dependant on my own steady state of productivity and emotional resilience.  I am good at dropping balls and picking up balls and tossing balls and keeping things moving in the right direction while remembering that we need to add tunafish to the grocery order and also it's library day tomorrow and also holy crap am I good enough at my job to have gotten two promotions in a year and do they regret hiring me and are they going to go back to full time in office and should I just look for a new job now to avoid the slow process of being terminated...

Anyways, as I was saying, there are a lot of balls in the air and I'm not always at the 100% or 90% I want to be because no person is, and definitely no hormone driven person is.  

I know there's a billion hormones involved in having babies and nursing, but as a person who spent almost 6 years straight doing all that I am fairly sure that there are also a huge amount of hormones involved in being a 40+ year old human female.

Anyways, as I was saying, one of my goals this year is going to bo to get a better organizational system in place for all the many things that are happening. One of the cornerstones of this system will have to be TIME and a designated time to plan and review.

Andy and I are pretty good at doing this on a weekly level, but our FLOM at this point is almost a meal planning exercise with some basic weekend ideas thrown in.  

So this friday is a planning day.  I don't really know what that means yet.  And then, on that planning day, I am going to pick another planning day.   And then when I have my days I can... plan them.  

So that's a very long winded explanation of one 2026 goal - build a better organisational system to support my life being awesome that is not entirely based on me always being awesome.

5 Randoms on a friday - house stuff, twin stuff, air frier update and viral youtube from 12 years ago.

I know you all have been anxiously awaiting a curtain update.  I realize I am terrible at taking photos that match, but here are (half the) old curtains:

And here are the new sage curtains:

They need to be hemmed, but I like it better.  It's way calmer.

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Today was supposed to be the twins first morning at nursery (2.5 hours) and I was supposed to get 2.5 hours of time to myself, which I was OVER THE MOON EXCITED FOR.  Unfortunately the big kids could not get out the door for breakfast club (which closes at 8:40) and so by the time I got them to school (8:55) there wasn't enough time for me to get the twins to nursery and instead of a Rachel morning I took the twins to gymnastics.  

Luckily there is a twin charity that runs a hotline for twin parents in the UK a nice lady on the phone helped me feel slightly less depressed about missing my only teeny tiny Rachel moments.

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This evening I tidied the lounge (I was too tired to do any cleaning during twin nap and used it to lie in bed and read, which is fine and nice, but also meant the house was a depressing mess all day) and organised our christmas cards!  This brings me joy always. 

 It's been lovely to get cards from some blog-o-friends this year,  Thank you!

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I am really enjoying this air frier so far! I've used to to make really quick roast veggies for my lunches.  On Wednesday I actually meal prepped myself a pasta thing with pesto and lentils and roast aubergine and mushrooms and tuna feta and it meant I had delicious protien and veggie lunch on Wednesday and Thursday.  I also used it to make grown up dinner on Wednesday which was potatoes and salmon and leeks (you saw my leek right?).  

The food comes out good and cooks quickly.  Unfortunately we really don't have space to own one at the moment, but I am trying to figure out if I can rejig our existing food storage and maybe I can find shelf space.

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In the olden days of the internet there was a video of a talking cat on youtube which Andy and I thought was hilarious and so just 13 years later we have taught Clara to to say "Oh Long Johnson" and "Oh Long Piaaaaano" now and it cracks us up.

She also says "Six Seven" a lot.  Because my kids are jokes.