Budget Fun Time! Where our money went in 2025

It's budget fun time!

Andy and I keep a budget in excel. We make a best guess at what life will cost (based on last year) and then we live our life.  I think rather than "budget" I track "where our money went".  

We track expenses but not income and take a monthly snapshot of our cash position to make sure we are not going bankrupt slowly or quickly. 

Here's where our money went in 2025:

Categories as follows:

Groceries (10%). Online grocery order, butcher, local shop.  Occasional alcohol if Andy and I are drinking together or having wine at home.  We try to buy sustainable and organic and so probably spend a lot more here than we could.  But we also try to buy on sale and don't each much meat.  Overall, food costs what it costs.

Andy and Rachel Fun Together (1%) We started this category last year because it was our 10 year anniversary and we both turned 40.  We had fun together, we went out to eat, we went mountain biking.  We went climbing.  It was a good budget item.

Bills (20%) Includes gas, electricity, council tax, car tax... all the bills.  about 50% of this is our mortgage, which we are trying to overpay but still have at least 5 years left.

Dining Out (2%) This is mostly cafes for lunch or coffees. Dining out is only applicable if we are eating with other members of the family - if we eat out alone or with friends it's a hobby budget item.  And if we eat out together then it's a "fun together" item.  We went out to lunch once this year (as a family) but we do go out to a coffee shop with the kids fairly often.

House (4.5%) We thought of the house things we wanted to do and then did a bunch of other things last year.  We got a new washer, we replaced our bath panel, we bought a stupidly expensive bin (trash can) because it fits the exact space and has 3 compartments for our new multi-recycling system.  We split the cost of trimming trees with our neighbour.  We got a new hoover, and we built a ground frame for our outdoor slide.  There was a lot of house expense.

Clothes (2%) We just don't buy a lot of clothes.  But also... we look like we don't buy a lot of clothes.  We sort of want to spend more here because both Andy and I can look a bit un-put-together.  I buy all the kids clothes second hand and manage a very complicated clothing rotation system but I don't have good luck second hand clothes shopping for me.

Misc (1%) This is basically photo albums, holiday cards, and stamps.

Transport (2.5%) This is petrol, parking, train or bus tickets, and some bike things for Andy's commuter bike (and his waterproof commuting jacket)

Rachel & Andy Hobbies (7%) Hey, we had a lot of hobbies and a lot of fun this year! We intentionally gave ourselves big allowances this year.  I sometimes get apple music, I sometimes get massages, I sometimes go swimming, I go to the gym, I buy new running shoes.  It was a bumper hobby year for Year of 40.  We expect to spend less in 2026.

Entertainment (1%) We usually get Disney+ or another streaming service in the winter.  This also covers entry to museums, our castle membership, and other entertaining things (theatre tickets etc)

Kids (3.75%) This is stuff just for the kids, like swim lessons, tennis lessons, if we go to soft play or something that is mainly for kids.

Child Care (33%) This is insane to me.  Here's an article about how childcare costs in the UK are the second most expensive in the world.  And here's a BBC article about how childcare in Wales is more expensive than the rest of the UK.  I realize we have 4 kids and a nanny and a bunch of childcare, but we also still barely make it work with being in work.  I feel so lucky I have a job where I can afford childcare, and I also feel that having a the resources to have a job (as a woman) shouldn't be something I have to be grateful for in 2026.  

Gifts (1.5%) This year I decided to be more generous with gifts for people.  I don't know if I feel like a better person because of it, but I do feel like I've spent less mental energy on gifts now that I'm not trying to buy to a budget (ie if I see something someone will like I buy it for them).  Or if someone at work is leaving or having a baby I'll just give them £5 or £10.

Health & Personal Care (1.75%) We have the NHS and a lot of healthcare is free (as long as you can wait 20 years) but some stuff (dentist) still costs money.  Also toothpaste and vitamins etc  go here.  And my haircuts and hair dyes because if Andy would learn how to cut hair then I wouldn't need to pay someone to do it for me. I cut everyone else's hair (although my hairdresser sometimes cuts my daughters hair for free because she is lovely) (my daughter and my hairdresser are lovely)

Holiday (8.5%) We booked A LOT of travel for 2026! We have already booked France in Feb (me and the big kids), Portugal in March/April, Austria (just Andy and big kids), Camping in July.  Also, last year we went to Sweden! Andy took Ezra to Birmingham and I took Lily to Bath overnight.  And our Christmas away was also not cheap.  But it's all fun, and I'm super excited for holiday times.  ! 

Do you budget? Do you try and stick to certain amounts of spending or do you track what you spend or neither? Do you have budget goals?  

2026 goal - build a better organisational system for my life - a bloggy rant about planning and an overfull brain.

Our garden is the perfect representation of how my current life organization feels

One of my goals for next year is to get organized.

I feel like people say all the time "oh you are so organized" and while I do somewhat agree, I also feel like it's out of necessity and effort rather than a state of being.  

Like when I am a runner or doing a half marathon I am not actually that fit, I am just a person who does a lot of running.  That's how I feel about my planning right now... I'm not necessarily good at it, I just do a lot of it.

I carry a million things in my head all the time (which might be why my head kind of reaches its limit, and then instead of being nice to my kids I use all my brain resource to plan 100 meals and packed lunches and school pick ups... and so then when someone needs something (like basic human niceness) I don't have that thing because I already used up all my things with a million other things.)

And I know this is all a bit twee because there is a literal book about how to plan your life now but it's not out in the UK until Feb so blargh.

I started reading "Rest" recently because I probably need to. (I probably need to both rest and read the book Rest)

I've long realized that one of the problems with my current way of managing the million spinning plates is that it is highly dependant on my own steady state of productivity and emotional resilience.  I am good at dropping balls and picking up balls and tossing balls and keeping things moving in the right direction while remembering that we need to add tunafish to the grocery order and also it's library day tomorrow and also holy crap am I good enough at my job to have gotten two promotions in a year and do they regret hiring me and are they going to go back to full time in office and should I just look for a new job now to avoid the slow process of being terminated...

Anyways, as I was saying, there are a lot of balls in the air and I'm not always at the 100% or 90% I want to be because no person is, and definitely no hormone driven person is.  

I know there's a billion hormones involved in having babies and nursing, but as a person who spent almost 6 years straight doing all that I am fairly sure that there are also a huge amount of hormones involved in being a 40+ year old human female.

Anyways, as I was saying, one of my goals this year is going to bo to get a better organizational system in place for all the many things that are happening. One of the cornerstones of this system will have to be TIME and a designated time to plan and review.

Andy and I are pretty good at doing this on a weekly level, but our FLOM at this point is almost a meal planning exercise with some basic weekend ideas thrown in.  

So this friday is a planning day.  I don't really know what that means yet.  And then, on that planning day, I am going to pick another planning day.   And then when I have my days I can... plan them.  

So that's a very long winded explanation of one 2026 goal - build a better organisational system to support my life being awesome that is not entirely based on me always being awesome.

5 Randoms on a friday - house stuff, twin stuff, air frier update and viral youtube from 12 years ago.

I know you all have been anxiously awaiting a curtain update.  I realize I am terrible at taking photos that match, but here are (half the) old curtains:

And here are the new sage curtains:

They need to be hemmed, but I like it better.  It's way calmer.

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Today was supposed to be the twins first morning at nursery (2.5 hours) and I was supposed to get 2.5 hours of time to myself, which I was OVER THE MOON EXCITED FOR.  Unfortunately the big kids could not get out the door for breakfast club (which closes at 8:40) and so by the time I got them to school (8:55) there wasn't enough time for me to get the twins to nursery and instead of a Rachel morning I took the twins to gymnastics.  

Luckily there is a twin charity that runs a hotline for twin parents in the UK a nice lady on the phone helped me feel slightly less depressed about missing my only teeny tiny Rachel moments.

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This evening I tidied the lounge (I was too tired to do any cleaning during twin nap and used it to lie in bed and read, which is fine and nice, but also meant the house was a depressing mess all day) and organised our christmas cards!  This brings me joy always. 

 It's been lovely to get cards from some blog-o-friends this year,  Thank you!

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I am really enjoying this air frier so far! I've used to to make really quick roast veggies for my lunches.  On Wednesday I actually meal prepped myself a pasta thing with pesto and lentils and roast aubergine and mushrooms and tuna feta and it meant I had delicious protien and veggie lunch on Wednesday and Thursday.  I also used it to make grown up dinner on Wednesday which was potatoes and salmon and leeks (you saw my leek right?).  

The food comes out good and cooks quickly.  Unfortunately we really don't have space to own one at the moment, but I am trying to figure out if I can rejig our existing food storage and maybe I can find shelf space.

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In the olden days of the internet there was a video of a talking cat on youtube which Andy and I thought was hilarious and so just 13 years later we have taught Clara to to say "Oh Long Johnson" and "Oh Long Piaaaaano" now and it cracks us up.

She also says "Six Seven" a lot.  Because my kids are jokes.

Crashing into the new year, toddler chaos, kid activities, weekends, and the ongoing search for the potentially imaginary "downtime"

I'm definitely not feeling any sort of "new year energy" - I think for me that maybe comes in August?  I wish I had it in January, but mostly I feel like new year more sleep (not a goal, a biological necessity).

Return to school and work has been... fine.  I think my brain is broken and I probably should have taken a sick day or something because I definitely did not perform at 100%, or even 30% this week.  I feel like I started to get into my work at about 11am this morning and now it's the weekend (in this context, 3 days of childcare) and I am already lacking in patience for kid shenanigans.

The 5 & 7 year old are also tired from their reentry into school.  This afternoon Lily did the classic crying walk home from afterschool club where she was freezing cold (because it was raining and freezing) but could only take one tiny step at a time (because she was tired) hence becoming more cold, and more wet, and more tired.  But - FYI - she was certainly not tired at 7:30 bedtime.  She told me.

The twins are completely thriving with our nanny.  She does all the amazing toddler focused play and chat that bores me to tears.  I am trying to figure out how to use more nanny help to destress my life, but even if we ask her to work on a weekend we still need to find something for the big kids.  Also, the dream for Rachel hobbies is quiet time in the house, which necessitates kids out of the house.  I think in the summer we will be at the age that we could perhaps ask her to take all the kids to the park... but for now there's just a lot of kids at home.  All the time.

Also, our house is a clutter chaotic mess.  We've used January sales to top up on things we need, but not yet put all these things away.  For instance, we bought new shelves for the kids rooms, but the one thing you certainly can't do with kids around is put up shelves.  

I was listening to a podcast where someone said "it gets harder as it gets easier" and I feel that is where we are at with the twins.  They are easier - they don't need constant 100% attention or they will die - but they are harder.  They need stimulation and they have opinions.  Clara does NOT want to get in her car seat sometimes and it's nearly impossible to get her in.  Aubrey will ONLY WEAR TIGHTS AND A JUMPER and I cannot seem to explain that tights are not leggings or trousers and need to be worn with a dress.  Andy is way better at doing 2 year old life, but I find it tricky.

Also, on the theme of ever diminishing "me" time, we signed up for weekend kid activities.  After being a weekend activity-free family for 7 years the kids started tennis lessons in November.  They love it.  I love them running around.  I love having a bit of structure to the weekend.  I like the other families in tennis lessons.  

BUT... our weekends now have a Saturday morning activity that is definitely not for all 4 kids.  So we split the kids, but then neither parent gets down time.

Because I am a glutton for bad scheduling, I signed the big kids up for a trial of small class swim lessons on Sundays... at 9am.  Again, single kid activity, which means neither parent gets downtime on Sunday morning either

Further decreasing the downtime is that we have double birthday parties this weekend - Ezra and Lily have one on Saturday afternoon (it's Ezra's classmate, but I asked if Lily could come for logistical reasons) and then Lily has one on Sunday afternoon (at the same place as the Saturday party.  It's a gymnastics party, which is actually a pretty decent kid party venue).

All weekend slots are now taken up with activities such that, even if it were possible for one parent to watch 4 kids, we don't have any time in which to do this.  I foresee a downtime-less weekend.

No wonder I am so tired every Monday.

Maybe also if I can't do the stuff I like, I may as well like the stuff I do.  I may as well enjoy watching my kids learn to swim and maybe have some nice parent chats at the party.  I've invited some new friends over for a play date on Saturday morning while the big kids are at tennis, they have one two year old so our two year olds can play together.  It's not as good as a long run or a bike ride or being in the house alone, but, as my dad would say, "it's better than a punch in the face, depending on who is doing the punching".

I don't really get that saying either.

Oh, and a photo to leave you with!  This is the classic online grocery order.  I ordered one leek and one zucchini.  And obviously I wanted a leek 3 times the size of the zucchini right???  What is this monster Leek?

Sunday random - cold snap, house projects, hairbrush, misc shopping.

Well we made it to Sunday everyone.  16 days off work.  I did enter the holiday with a bit of fear, and it turns out it was well founded fear because that wasn't the best holiday ever.  16 days in the winter is a lot of winter days.

I didn't get any sports in this week, I didn't do any planning, I didn't set any goals.  The house is kind of a tip (british for a mess)

I did go swimming with the kids a few times (not my favourite activity but an essential life skill) and on Saturday I took Lily to my favourite soft play with Aubrey and Clara and I enjoyed a peppermint mocha (first and last of the season, not sure I like the drink as much as I like the idea of the drink).

It's been brutally cold (for cardiff) hovering at around freezing.  There is a snow and ice warning today.  I can tell it's been cold because £30 is a lot to keep a house at 18c/65f during the day for 4 days:

Also, I did start another house project... because why not.  

Our lounge has long annoyed me.  It photographs well, but the curtains are A LOT.  They reflect the fact that we decorated in November.  

They looked good in November.  I finally found a new pair of curtains I liked enough, but it was £200.  Luckily it was down to £150 in the January sales! So I ordered the curtains in Sage.  When we hung it up it was a definite improvement, but I should have also tried Olive as the color was not perfect.  So I have now ordered the same curtains in Olive and carefully repackaged the Sage ones so we can return one... but in the interim my lounge now looks like this

Not ideal.

Also, I ordered a new hairbrush! Here is my current brush, was which gifted to me by my grandma when I was in high school:

I spent a LONG time looking at brushes.  I think the one that is most similar is this:

But that seemed super expensive and I couldn't face paying for shipping.  I also thought maybe a round ceramic brush would be a good idea?  Maybe the type of brush grandma bought when I was 12 isn't definitely the right type for the rest of my life?

So I bought this one:

And this one:

In unrelated news... We are currently borrowing a Air Frier.

I am not sure what to do with this air frier.  Andy used it to reheat a mince pie and it cooked it very fast! I am not sure we will keep it since we need counter space, but before we give it back i want to try cooking some things in it.  So far my ideas are

• Something with Tofu
• Aubergine/Eggplant thing?
• Salmon

Does anyone have an love an air frier and can send me your favorite recipe you use it for?  Is this like asking "What should I put in a slow cooker"? 

I'm back in work tomorrow, which I am feeling OK about.  I think it will be a hard day because the twins have gotten very used to having me around and are in a definitely mommy phase.  The big kids have started sleeping late.  I'm not looking forward to getting out the door, or the crying.  I'm not feeling at all rested after using almost 2 weeks of annual leave.  But whether I'm rested or enthusiastic or not, work starts at 8am and I'll have to remind myself that everyone probably feels much the same.

Goals Goals Goals! A Review of 2025 (spoiler alert - not done is the dominant theme)

 Oh Hey! 2025 is over! Let's have a review of my goals and how I did...

First, I think I only have one goals post from last year, and it's here.  I had a lot more goals than this, but apparently never got to blogging them.  So... how did I do?

Personal

Paint my Nails Monthly
    Yes. I've been pretty good about this... mostly if I can do it during a work meeting on teams.

Train for a 1/2 Marathon
    Yes. I trained and ran it.  I'm not super pleased with how the race went, or being really ill the week beforehand, or doing only 2 of the 3 training runs a week... but I did it.

Improve Accessory Situation.
    Nope. Have not bought, worn, or thought about this.

Strength Train 100 time
    Nope.  I did 85. Oh well.

Ride 50 miles in one weekend
    Nope. Did not do this or find a weekend where I could even try this.

Buy a blazer or jacket to classy up work clothes
    Nope. work clothes are sort of worse than ever.

Take a skills class at bike park wales
    Nope. I just couldn't find a day for it.

Go To Paris
    Nope. Postponed to next year or the year after or some other time

Take a bread making course
    Nope.

Take 15 in person yoga classes
    Nope.  But also the yoga studio I liked closed down.  I did 6.

Learn to style my hair, buy a new hairbrush, and potentially a new hairdryer
    Medium I got a hair drier, learned nothing about my hair, and even my husband thinks I need a new brush because now about 30% of the bristles are missing from my existing hair brush.

Professional

Grow professional network - reach out to 5 people

    Poor. I reached out to 1.  We had a good call and then nothing happened and neither of us pursued anything.

Spend 90 minutes a month on personal learning courses. 
    Nope. 

Document Successes Weekly and Monthly
    Medium... I have a bit of a monthly review going but work was weird and intense.

Mentor other people - figure out step forward for mentoring

    Medium - I had a mentee! For a few weeks until she quit.  So I guess that's not really a success and I haven't had headspace to move forward on this at all.

Family

Overnight trip with Ezra
    Nope.

Overnight trip with Lily
    Yes! Went to Bath

12 Adventures with Andy
    Yes... sort of.  Some of the adventures were a drink or lunch.  But I did manage to fit in 12 things that we did, including indoor climbing and a trip to Bike Park Wales.

See a theatre show with Andy or kids
    Yes - I saw a few this year, Andy and I went to Banff film festival.  I took the kids to a pretty average kids production of The Frog Prince.  We went to a kids ballet in Feb as well. 

House

Hang art in the office

    Yes... and then we moved rooms and now I still need to hang art in the house (there's less art than the end of last year)

Replace toilet paper holder downstairs

    Nope.

Improve lighting - buy a new lamp

    Nope.  If anything it's actually worse than last year, we now have light fixtures we don't like which also have burned out bulbs because we intend to replace them but haven't.

Replace bath panel

    Yes - but the new one we got (which was $$$!) is already falling apart so that is a mid fail.

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So... that was a year of random goals rarely achieved.  But even so, many of those goals were to dos, and they can stick on the to do list this year.

Because I am in a January funk I don't really have many goals for this coming year yet.  Which is fine, because days pass and at some point I can make goals again.  Maybe surviving 2 year old twins (and hopefully making some nice memories with the 5 and 7 year old!) for another year will be success enough.

It was the blergest times, it was the blargest times.

Daria commented on my last post with "do you ever get mad" which made me laugh out loud.  Yes I do get mad.

I haven't posted in the last few days because now I am finally experiencing the standard winter "everything sucks".

Since getting back from holiday I feel exhausted, behind on everything, and generally joyless.  Kids have had some bad days and I have had moments where I wish the floor would swallow me alive and then at least I wouldn't have to be standing in IKEA while Aubrey screams on the floor and Clara runs to the exit.

This is partially my fault too... on the day after we got back Andy went for an all day bike ride (well, to 3pm).  The twins only napped an hour in that time.  The kids were generally fractious.  I think I used all the energy needed for the second week of school holidays in that 7 hour chunk of time and now I have nothing left.

That afternoon I took the big kids to a local toy store to spend their £30 gift cards.  It was super cute and fun but we were late and a bit rushed.  While there I saw another family of four, who I would guess were ranged in age from 12 to 7, possibly with twins as well.  They were having a nice time and the mom looked super calm and while it gave me hope it also made me want to just crawl in a hole and wait 5 years until maybe I won't be the chaos family.

I usually love the age of 2 because toddlers become little people with goals and they can sometimes be reasoned with and they get more independent and it's great.  but two two year olds is, like all double things, just a lot.  I feel like we are now getting to a point where I can do less than I could before... and I could barely do anything before.  I used to load them up and go to sainsburys, but last time Clara took down a rack of boots while Aubrey rearranged the pyjama display and the big kids asked for grapes and mango and then no one would get in the cart and it was just... impossible.

Sometimes I'm having impossible times and people offer me help (like getting me a twin trolly at the shop) and now I mostly find myself having the kid of impossible times where everyone steps away (like when Aubrey laid on the floor of the IKEA line and wouldn't move towards check out and instead everyone went around me so I was further in the back of the checkout queue than I started)

Another thing - and maybe this is all because of the awful IKEA trip (which Andy was there for as well, FYI, and it wasn't as scarring for him) is that I don't really get the chance to think about anything if I am out with the kids.  We bought Skadis Pegboards (I have dreamed of owning one of these for years!) and because I can't think I just grabbed a million accessories and then we ended up spending £200 at IKEA because I had no ability to think about what we needed or the price or anything.  This is why I do all my shopping online, but online shopping requires time, and I got up at 6am to try and order a lampshade and instead I wrote a blog and now I can hear a toddler awake.

And I will caveat that all of this is fine because I am literally complaining about buying pegboards and lots of people have real problems and real troubles that are not an inability to pick out a light fixture.

So yes, I do get mad.  Sometimes at the kids (we have family visiting this week and the big kids spent 20 minutes shouting at each other in the car in front of the guests and so I took away the presents the guests had gotten them and I am still mad about it).  Sometimes at the twins (why are they awake at 6:30???!) and often at everything at once because this wasn't really what I signed up for (not that anyone signs up for what parenting is).  

And yes, I'm relying on this post not existing when my kids are old enough to read.