Gretchen Rubin has just published her next book - Life in 5 Senses - and is on a publicity tour. I've read a few GR books before, and she definitely has some interesting ideas and some thoughts which have helped me understand my own decision making better. For instance, her clarification of a Satisficier vs. an Maximizer really resonated with me, and I decided to go down the satisficier path and never look back. I've taken her personality test and I am fairly sure I'm a questioner... it's always interesting for me to remember that other people have different motivations for their own decision making processes.
However, one of the stories GR seems to be retelling on this tour is her decision to cut out all sugar and carbs from her life. Kae has a great post on this, and the comments are fascinating as well. When I first heard GR tell this story it seemed really restrictive to me - I love lots of different foods, I love sugar but try not to eat too much of it, I love bread and pasta. I also like going out to eat with people, I like eating lots of different kinds of food, and I like being generally unfussy when I'm invited over to someones house for dinner. I like eating dinner family style, and eating the same foods as my kids (although with added flavour, and I do allow my foods to touch on my plan).
Cutting out an entire food group seems nearly impossible to me, and very extreme.
But then, somehow, I cut out smartphone, which may seem equally extreme to others. I wonder if other people think "Well yes smart phones are not ideal but I like having internet when I'm out and about" the way I think about carbs? I mean eating sugar is not ideal but I also like eating cake at birthday parties.
I also think there's a difference between "quitting smartphone" and "quitting sugar" in that I still have a device that does podcasts and photos and dulingo. It just doesn't do it easily on the go. It doesn't do communication, it does the features of smartphone without the smart.
Maybe I'm equivalent to a person who quit sugar but still eats fake sugar? I don't think my transition away from social media and whatsapp is as extreme as a transition away from whole food groups... but I might only think that because I'm the person who did the transition.
Maybe GR would consider life without Instagram unnecessarily limiting, but life without carbs is fine?
I find my feelings about GR to be quite confusing, mostly because I don't think I'd want to hang out with her. That doesn't negate the information she has to share, of course, but it makes me unwilling to listen to her much. I'm not an abstainer because that seems so extreme to me. I guess I'm too much of a moderator to even want to hear her reasoning for not eating carrots. CARROTS.
ReplyDeleteI think 99% of my experience with GR has been via your, Kae's, and maybe Nicole's blogs. I like the comparison you are drawing here, and I can see how cutting out smartphone could seem extreme to people. I certainly don't think I could do it. I mean, I COULD. I guess I am saying, I don't think I would want to quit it cold turkey (although I respect and admire your choice!). I really wish I could find a way to be a moderate consumer of my smartphone.
ReplyDeleteI do think your smartphone choice is different from GR's carb stance because our bodies don't NEED smartphones or any sort of digital device. We do, however, need nourishment and vitamins and fiber and energy. I don't know enough details to make an intelligent argument against GR's choice, but it seems like cutting out an entire macronutrient could have negative longterm implications for a person's health. I could never do it. I like food too much! Temporary restrictions are somewhat beneficial for me personally once in a while, but thinking of a life without ANY carbs, EVER makes me deeply sad.
I found your blog through Kae and SHU. I also quit using social media and I've been thinking about this.. because I feel like a lot of my reasoning is kind of similar to GR's about carbs. It was SO hard for me to monitor myself "I can check 15 min in the morning" or "only when my kids aren't around" etc. It's easier to just not use it at all. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I do feel embarrassed to talk about not using social medial b/c I worry it comes off as preachy and I really don't intend it that way- it was just one more thing for me to manage. That being said, I do not understand cutting out an entire food group or why a doctor would support this?
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading and commenting! I tried so many different rules and then just found it easier to say not to all of it. But it was hard at first because when you leave social media it seems preachy... which is not as intended. But I think the general thoughts have shifted a lot in recent years. It was social suicide 10 years ago but now I know a fair amount of people who don't use facebook. My husband and I joke that we knew it was the right thing to leave facebook when we realized literally no one noticed we had gone. last week I had an email from a friend telling me she was leaving facebook... I had to tell her I left 7 years ago. It's weird that something can both feel important, and weird to leave, and no one can notice if you're not there.
DeleteMy doctor would probably support me cutting out chocolate lol, but I barely get enough veg in as-is. I don't know what food would be left on 0 carbs!
Well, yes! I think there are some similarities between GR's thinking and yours/ anyone cutting out anything strictly (including technology)... but I think the differences you point out are important, too. And I think there is a fundamental difference between food being a necessity/ health related versus something like tech. I do think that GR really does seem to not eat carbs not in a wild attempt to lose weight or look good or anything... I really got the impression that it truly was just hard for her to control, and this is more black and white and just easier (similar to what Katie just commented).
ReplyDeleteRE: your last sentence in your post- in one GR episode I listened to, she was interviewing the author Gary Taubes who wrote the books that inspired her whole no carb thing. And he made some comment (can't remember the exact wording) about coffee and how yes, he doesn't eat carbs, but he does drink lots and lots of coffee and some people might argue that THAT is unhealthy, but "come on, who could ever totally give up coffee?!?" And I remember thinking that was so interesting, because here he was kind of touting carbs as something worth giving up/ apparently easy enough for him, but giving up coffee was a total non-starter. (I don't drink coffee (I don't like it), so I laughed, because I have NO problem with not drinking coffee!!!) Anyway, made me think that it's all sort of relative and different people struggle with different things, and different things are harder for some people than others. Probably similar with tech use or other things, I would guess.
It's been so interesting following the comments on yours and Sarah's blogs because it's reminded me everyone struggles with something! I don't even think about TV as a screen habit because I pretty much don't watch it, I actually wish I watched more of it. But then other people watch lots and struggle with it.
DeleteOne time I thought about doing whole 30 and then I read something that said "before you start Whole 30, try cutting out coffee for 30 days" and I was like "NOPE" and did not try whole 30 or cut out coffee.
Kae, I find this kind of funny because I read in one of Gretchen Rubin's books that she loves diet sodas/carbonated drinks and a friend had suggested she cut them down and she was basically just not interested in trying. I don't use social media, but I LOVE trashy reality tv. we all have our things!
DeleteI am definately a moderator in most aspects of my life and cutting out all carbs does seem extreme and maybe not that healthy. Well it wouldn't be healthy for me because of the amount of running I do. I don't tend to have too much trouble moderating my behaviour usually so that is helpful and the thought of never doing something is not attractive to me. In terms of the smart phone stuff, I wouldn't consider your stance extreme in the same way and I probably wouldn't view it as extreme abstinence. I think the difference is that you have looked at the bare minimum tech/communication you need and got rid of the rest (which happens to line up with no smart phone). I can't see a massive downside to your abstinance and so it wouldn't make sense for you to spend so much energy moderating, whereas I feel there is a downside to excluding whole groups of food.
ReplyDeleteI think people are mostly moderators OR abstainers (I am a moderator through and through, my husband is an abstainer), because that's what works best for them in most situations. However, sometimes people make exceptions.
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