Crashing into the new year, toddler chaos, kid activities, weekends, and the ongoing search for the potentially imaginary "downtime"

I'm definitely not feeling any sort of "new year energy" - I think for me that maybe comes in August?  I wish I had it in January, but mostly I feel like new year more sleep (not a goal, a biological necessity).

Return to school and work has been... fine.  I think my brain is broken and I probably should have taken a sick day or something because I definitely did not perform at 100%, or even 30% this week.  I feel like I started to get into my work at about 11am this morning and now it's the weekend (in this context, 3 days of childcare) and I am already lacking in patience for kid shenanigans.

The 5 & 7 year old are also tired from their reentry into school.  This afternoon Lily did the classic crying walk home from afterschool club where she was freezing cold (because it was raining and freezing) but could only take one tiny step at a time (because she was tired) hence becoming more cold, and more wet, and more tired.  But - FYI - she was certainly not tired at 7:30 bedtime.  She told me.

The twins are completely thriving with our nanny.  She does all the amazing toddler focused play and chat that bores me to tears.  I am trying to figure out how to use more nanny help to destress my life, but even if we ask her to work on a weekend we still need to find something for the big kids.  Also, the dream for Rachel hobbies is quiet time in the house, which necessitates kids out of the house.  I think in the summer we will be at the age that we could perhaps ask her to take all the kids to the park... but for now there's just a lot of kids at home.  All the time.

Also, our house is a clutter chaotic mess.  We've used January sales to top up on things we need, but not yet put all these things away.  For instance, we bought new shelves for the kids rooms, but the one thing you certainly can't do with kids around is put up shelves.  

I was listening to a podcast where someone said "it gets harder as it gets easier" and I feel that is where we are at with the twins.  They are easier - they don't need constant 100% attention or they will die - but they are harder.  They need stimulation and they have opinions.  Clara does NOT want to get in her car seat sometimes and it's nearly impossible to get her in.  Aubrey will ONLY WEAR TIGHTS AND A JUMPER and I cannot seem to explain that tights are not leggings or trousers and need to be worn with a dress.  Andy is way better at doing 2 year old life, but I find it tricky.

Also, on the theme of ever diminishing "me" time, we signed up for weekend kid activities.  After being a weekend activity-free family for 7 years the kids started tennis lessons in November.  They love it.  I love them running around.  I love having a bit of structure to the weekend.  I like the other families in tennis lessons.  

BUT... our weekends now have a Saturday morning activity that is definitely not for all 4 kids.  So we split the kids, but then neither parent gets down time.

Because I am a glutton for bad scheduling, I signed the big kids up for a trial of small class swim lessons on Sundays... at 9am.  Again, single kid activity, which means neither parent gets downtime on Sunday morning either

Further decreasing the downtime is that we have double birthday parties this weekend - Ezra and Lily have one on Saturday afternoon (it's Ezra's classmate, but I asked if Lily could come for logistical reasons) and then Lily has one on Sunday afternoon (at the same place as the Saturday party.  It's a gymnastics party, which is actually a pretty decent kid party venue).

All weekend slots are now taken up with activities such that, even if it were possible for one parent to watch 4 kids, we don't have any time in which to do this.  I foresee a downtime-less weekend.

No wonder I am so tired every Monday.

Maybe also if I can't do the stuff I like, I may as well like the stuff I do.  I may as well enjoy watching my kids learn to swim and maybe have some nice parent chats at the party.  I've invited some new friends over for a play date on Saturday morning while the big kids are at tennis, they have one two year old so our two year olds can play together.  It's not as good as a long run or a bike ride or being in the house alone, but, as my dad would say, "it's better than a punch in the face, depending on who is doing the punching".

I don't really get that saying either.

Oh, and a photo to leave you with!  This is the classic online grocery order.  I ordered one leek and one zucchini.  And obviously I wanted a leek 3 times the size of the zucchini right???  What is this monster Leek?