May 25, 2023

School Schedules and Childcare and Time

We are in the process of sorting out childcare/school schedules for next year.  Isaac has gotten into the school across from our house (yay!).  Right now he attends nursery 4 days a week, where we can drop off anytime after 7:30am and pick up anytime before 6:00pm.  Sometimes we drop off at 7:45, sometimes at 9am.

What I realized about school is that it starts at a certain time.  Every day.  You can't drop of early and you certainly can't be late.

In 2020 I got on the wait list for after school club, and this week we were informed there were two spaces available: Tuesdays and Wednesdays.  We also found a child-minder for Monday afternoons and Thursday Afternoons.  I wasn't sure how much childcare to take - we certainly don't need 4 full days plus 1 school day.  

However, I soon realized that it's always possible to reduce the amount of childcare one has, and often difficult to increase it.

For now we have decided on 4 days of "full" childcare and 1 day of school hours for Isaac, and 4 days for Lilah.  Andy will be taking off Fridays to spend with Lilah (and Isaac after school) and I can go back to full-time work starting in September (right now I'm on 80%)

School is going to be such a different experience for everyone.  I don't know how working parents manage - I only found out today that I have 4 full days of cover in 3 months time.  I could have had 2.  Or none.  

I'm also aware that lots of working from home parents have made the decision to not do after school care and instead pick up kids from school and have them at home while they finish off work.  Andy and I both have decided that we don't try and work while watching kids, and we don't use TV to entertain them either.  This probably makes our life harder.  For us we would rather have more dedicated childcare time.  We don't want to try and manage with less, or have the kids home with us but without our attention.  

I've thought a lot about Emily Oster's Second Best choices article.   I feel there is a push that "at home is best" for kids.  That childcare is somehow always worse than being with parents.  I have to remind myself that's not really true - maybe being at home with me would be best.  But maybe me working school hours, and experiencing the associated career downsides, would drive me nuts.  And that would cause it's own problems.  

Maybe being at home watching TV is second best to being at home, or maybe childcare is second best to being at home because we are lucky enough to afford it.

All this to say, that we are making a parenting decision now which either has all sorts of ramifications or impacts almost nothing.  But at least I don't have to continue worrying about how much childcare we will get in the spring.  The answer is - enough! Yay!

If you are a parent, how did you decide how much childcare you needed for your kids in early school?  If you're not a parent, were you in wrap-around/after school care or did a parent pick you up every day?

8 comments:

  1. Oh lord, are we still doing the "childcare is bad for kids thing"? I thought that went out of style in the 90s.

    I love it when the kids are home during the day, but I'm in work mode and often I kinda have to be...you know, working.

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  2. When my kids were younger, I worked in the hospital as a nurse, 12 hour shifts. So, this meant I "only" had to work ~3 days per week. (Don't get me started on people that thought my life was "so easy" because I "only" had to work 3 days a week... never mind I was working a very exhausting FULL week of work in those 3 days... and then I had to live the entire rest of my life in the other 4 days (fun, housework, exercise, family time, etc...) because my 3 work days I was gone from 6 am until after 8 pm.) Anyway, at least it did make childcare expenses a bit easier since I worked every other weekend and therefore only 2 of my work days usually feel on the work week days and I was home the other 3. But it was still complicated because for a long time I had a rotating schedule- not always the same days off every week- and of course the daycares don't let you just show up whenever. So we usually had to pay for THREE days even though I really only needed 2, and then I had to beg my employer to not schedule me on the other 2 days that I told the daycare we wouldn't be there. I do not miss figuring all that out! Now my kids are old enough to be home alone or when I'm working with no issues.

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    1. A friend of mine is a nurse and has the same thing - her days are so long! She can't do drop off or pick up at nursery. People think it's great to get your hours done in 3 days but I think there's a huge toll! And you can't get flexible childcare (at least not good flexible childcare) so it makes it even harder.

      I know this bit is short though so I am trying to embrace the uncertainty - but it's hard!

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  3. I'm absolutely with you on childcare being a huge blessing for both kids and working parents! My kids are both in elementary school and go to after care 5 days/week. They love it! It's objectively so much more fun and better for their physical and mental health than being at home while we work so they can fight with each other or beg to watch TV (which is a big no for us). It is a huge privilege to be able to pay for that extra care though and that is not fair.

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    1. That's so good to hear... when I was in primary school I remember being mad because my parents picked me up at 3 every day and so many of my friends got to go to afterschool care. I can't wait for Isaac and Lilah to experience playing with lots of different kids of lots of different ages. I'm glad it's been good for you and your family too.

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  4. I refuse to feel any kind of negative emotion (guilt, resentment, etc) when it comes to childcare. We both work full time and both kids are in before/after care. For example, we can drop off at 7 and pick up at 5. We usually drop off at around 7:30 and pick up around 4. But if NEED be (a dentist appointment, heck, going to the store, etc) we can pick up at 5. At school they are more focused, they have activities, friends, and skilled educators. I can so relate to what Kat said. And it's always good to have more childcare that you simply do not use then to scramble to find more. Anywho, a great topic close to my heart.

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    1. That's so good to hear! I feel torn, as if I'm wasting money on wraparound if I pick up at 4pm, but at the same time maybe that 45 minutes of childcare is worth £11 to me! Also I think it will be so good for them to have a split in the day between "school" and "aftercare". I'm really looking forward to it and glad to have so many positive comments here too :-)

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  5. Cheers to a nearby school and enough childcare!!! I dislike trying to work a d watch kids simultaneously (even if I use the tv, there are interruptions for snacks etc) and basically it just makes me crazy and grumpy to have my attention dicided by that. When i was a kid, i was either at home with my mom afterschool or in an on-site afterschool program while she was finishing her own school.

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