Friday Manifesto - Schedule Rest.

Currently blogging on a Friday with two sleeping twins. 

Laura Vanderkam's Daily "Vanderhack" email was titled "Plan for Depletion - how do get yourself back on track".

This seems fairly apt for my current state.

It's possibly come across in the blog, but I have been somewhat "meh" as of late.  It's hard to be properly self analytical, but I know I was feeling very very tired since December.  I started sleeping better in April, and the tiredness was replaced by some pretty major grumpy-ness.  I'm not sure if better sleep gave me the energy to be really grumpy, or if something else is causing it, but a bit of googling made me think I've probably just got some mild burnout going on.

I mean, I've got 4 young kids and a almost full-time job and childcare and kid sports and kid friends... it's just... a lot.

I decided, like most rational people in my state, to just push through, do all the kid/family stuff, and keep going as hard and fast as possible in all the areas of life.

I have two classic Rachel sayings that really support this behaviour: "A candle burning on both ends is twice as bright" and "Overtraining is a type of training"

As you may have guessed, this behaviour didn't seem to fix my overwhelming grump.

I decided to start time logging again, to see if perhaps ChatGPT could give me some insight into my life.  I I said "analyze this time log for me" and got the following

"This looks less like a schedule with too much paid work and more like a schedule where childcare, household management and logistics consume nearly every non-work hour, leaving very little protected time for focused personal projects, couple time, or genuine rest.

The biggest pressure point isn't total hours worked—it's the constant switching between responsibilities and the absence of large uninterrupted blocks of discretionary time.

1. Childcare is the biggest category

2. You rarely get uninterrupted time

3. Reading is your main recovery activity

4. Exercise happens but is inconsistent

I guess thanks to ChatGPT for the validation?

Also, let me take a step back and note that I have still been doing fun things.  I had Elisabeth and family over for dinner! I took them to Big Pit! I am not in a constant "woe is me, I do nothing but family" state.  But, I was in a constant "I'm always "on" for family stuff, and I'll incorporate fun stuff into this as well."

A friend asked me on Monday when I get "rest"... when is my downtime.  I told her it was 9:30-11:00 on Fridays when the twins are in Nursery, if there isn't a school thing or a half term.  I was previously considering my work my down time, but my work is hard and that was making it hard to focus.

On Thursday, I did schedule some actual downtime off work, and I went swimming, did daytime reading, and took some easy time. I looked at my planner and goals, and I noted that one of my goals for last year was "schedule rest at regular intervals and not just when completely burnt out".

Oops, sorry previous Rachel!

So this is my Friday manifesto that I am going to schedule some more "me time" on more regular (ie not every 4 months) intervals.  I used to do this - I ran a half marathon last year and ran 3x a week! I used to travel for work! It should be possible for me to have weekly quiet time (outside of Friday 9:30-11:00) which I can use for stuff. Rachel stuff, reading stuff, sports stuff... it should be possible but no one is going to design it for me.  And then maybe once I make it happen I won't resent using other time for all the family stuff... and maybe I'll eventually even get caught up on my photo albums.

Maybe rather than being tired, or energetic and annoyed, I can be energetic and... not annoyed?

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I'm going to end with a whiplash comment that I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN WITH ELISABETH HERE.  We went for a walk on Monday night and I could not remember the last time I had grown up time on a weekday evening.  She babysat mostly sleeping kids so Andy and I could get a drink.  And her kids are amazing with my kids and her daughter can almost run a full bedtime by herself (sometimes tired two year olds just want their mom).  So while I've been generally grumpy, I am also astoundingly thankful for the good fun things that are happening.  As The Lazy Genius says... "Good is here right now"

Belle and Aubrey - both are so cute!