I was so torn about leaving my last job.
I had so many friends there, I was well liked, the job was flexible.
It was so flexible, in fact, that I flexibly was going nowhere in my career.
The pay was fine, and my colleagues and I all told each other that we should stick with what we have, that it was good enough.
I agonized over leaving. I felt like I was letting people I liked down. I would never find somewhere as good. I would miss my colleagues.
Now, in retrospect, my only regret is not leaving sooner.
It turns out, I did work with great people. They are still great people. I am still friends with some of them. But now I work with new great people! And I have made new friends! And, it's just a job.
Sometimes, when employers call themselves family, it's to make you believe you have to forgive them the way you forgive family.
It seems so obvious now. Clearly it was not a family. Clearly, it was a job. One of many millions that exist.
Why do we default to staying in jobs? As usual, I start to wonder, do women stick it out more than men?
There is research showing that women who change jobs quickly move forward in their careers more quickly than men but are viewed more negatively than their male counterparts doing the same.
In this way, the opportunity cost of leaving is higher for women - if it doesn't work out they're more disadvantaged than men.
I think we forget sometimes that if we have something now, we will have it in the future.
If we make money now we can make it again
If we have friends now we can have friends again
If the work we do is interesting now we can find interesting work elsewhere.
There is nothing unique about any one job - or there is everything unique about any one job - but I wish I had defaulted to leaving long before I did. It turns out, everything that stagnated me was in my own head, and everything that promoted me was in my next job.
Yet another great - and thought-provoking - post, Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI have had similar experiences before. It is so hard to make a big leap but I don't think I've EVER ended up regretting it?
That's what I realized too - I have NEVER regretted any decision I've made regarding work. I've only regretted not making the decisions sooner!
DeleteOooh I have very strong feelings about this, as in I strongly agree with you. When employees leave, there's a cost to the company, so that's why when it suits them you're family and when they're done with you all they've got is "don't let the door hit you". Don't get me wrong I've had some great jobs but I've benefited so much by moving on when it was time (and paid for it when I've misjudged and stayed too long).
ReplyDeleteI challenge anyone who's staying in a "good enough" job because they think they can't make the same money somewhere else to start interviewing and see if that's really true. It costs nothing to look around.
I think it might have been one of your posts that got me thinking about this origionally! You're so right - companies don't want people to leave untill they do. Employees spend a lot of time thinking about the company and doing well "for a company" and companies only ever think about employees as benefiting the company as well. I really hope I can encourage people to move jobs because it seems like we will all be so much more aware of the pros and cons if we move ourselves towards leaving more often... it definitely costs nothing to look around!
DeleteSuch great points! I think making any kind of change is hard - maybe women are conditioned to be stability points? Or to value the comfort of things staying the same?
ReplyDeleteThat point about missing their colleagues is such a good one too. I've had a lot of co-workers leave my workplace in the past few years. The women have all made a point that said they're sad to leave the people they work with, but I haven't heard any of them men say that.
That's very interesting and you're right! I've never heard any men talk about the relationships they've built. I've almos always heard women do it. Fascinating!
DeleteThat whole family thing is such BS. My company talks about that all of the time, yet they just let a couple of hundred good, experienced people go, hoping to improve our stock price. Such BS. I honestly thought my company was different, and I love working here, and most of the time I think it's a good place...but sometimes things like this happen that are so discouraging. I'm not changing jobs right now, but yeah...I know we're not family. It's business.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that happened. I think often businesses are families... until the day they're not.
DeleteI think one thing that always stymies me is that there is a sense of quitting and I am not a quitter. In most projects, I am proud to see them through and finish strong etc. so it feels weird to "give up" early. However, I don't think that I need to have the same job for life, so I am not sure why I can't wrap my brain around the fact that it is not really giving up, it is just moving to the next level. Also of course, change is hard! But I changed jobs about 6 months ago and sure it was hard sometimes, but like you said, the people in the new place are good and there is definitely a learning curve, but it is all doable.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good point too! I do feel like I'm giving up all the gains that I've worked for and if I leave, which is silly because clearly my goal wasn't to stay at one job my entire life. Really good point! I'm glad you are happy with your new job too :-)
DeleteI love this Rachel. I really wish I had known this (and believed it) when I was younger. It is so easy to get sucked into that mentality of "you owe everything to your employer," which is so far from the truth (and not reciprocal!). So glad your move has been so positive!
ReplyDeleteI think I need you as my personal career pep talker... I've been in the same job forever (permanent position, so hard to give up for sure), but I also think that I am "flexibly going nowhere"... everybody tells me that I am doing a great job, but nobody is helping me to move forward (if you know what I mean). Sigh. I love my job though (and most of the people I work with)... change is hard.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly what I struggled with - I've always been told I'm amazing, people love working with me... but never how to get anywhere or improve. I haven't been at this new role long enough to "get anywhere" either. I felt so locked into the last role because of how much they liked me, how flexible it was, and how I liked everyone I worked with and the work was interesting. So I stayed for longer than I should have. Maybe you should have a little look around if you can? it's not forbidden to check ads and even interview elsewhere (though harder if you're in a small specialized career)
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