I am currently on a work trip, writing from the lovely city of Manchester. My hotel room is on the 9th floor, with all the big city vibes one could hope for:
They were rather horrified by this, and instead cajolled me into one more drink. It was fine, but I didn't get back to the hotel until 9:30, and after calling home, reading, and getting ready for sleep I didn't get to bed until 11:15.
This trip has reminded me the joy of traveling to new places. I love being somewhere new. I thought I didn't like traveling anymore - but it turns out I don't like traveling with a 2 and a 4 year old. That's OK!
I have also disclosed to certain colleagues I meet that this trip is my holiday - that I have a 2 and 4 year old at home and this is my monthly me-time of rest and work. Everyone I have said this too agrees, and many people respond with "wow, yes you must be tired" or some other form of sympathetic understanding.
When I took this job I hid the fact that I had kids. Now, I am working on finding a group of other career driven women to connect to, because it *is* very hard. I don't want everyone to know I have kids. I want to connect to those who understand what it means to be in the world I am in right now - who remember this time themselves and can maybe send some encouragement or advice my way.
In my quest to find out who might relate, I started asking a friend-colleague about which women in leadership had kids. It appears above a certain professional level only about 50% to 40% of the women in leadership had children. As he continued narrating he mentioned many of the men in leadership have kids. "so lots of the leaders have kids" he concluded.
"Yes" I thought, but didn't say "the world is very inclusive of parents in leadership, as long as they are male"
"I thought I didn't like traveling anymore - but it turns out I don't like traveling with a 2 and a 4 year old." Haha! I can relate to this on so many levels. I love my kids very much, but some activities are just SO MUCH EASIER without kids in tow. It has gotten easier as they've gotten older...but some things are still hard. Like they go from fine to extremely hungry (or bored) in seconds it seems and then cannot focus on anything until they get food. My husband was on sabbatical last summer and we did a big family roadtrip; our biggest mistake was trying to travel like we do solo (lots of walking, go, go, go) without factoring in that the kids were in tow. I am SO curious how things will pan out when they get older but, in general, I prefer to travel with just my husband. We are perfectly aligned about what we do; the few times I've travelled with a bigger group or with people other than my husband I feel like it's impossible to keep everyone happy (and sometimes everyone winds up UNHAPPY).
ReplyDeleteI always try to be in bed early on mx business trips and enjoy it immensely to have dinner at 7pm and then be in my pjs by 8pm. And I do not have kids. Earlier this month I was at a trade fair and my boss (male) said he loves to be in bed early early and tries. catching 8 or 9 hours nights of sleep because back home he always works another shift when the kids are in bed.
ReplyDeleteIt must be even tougher for women.
I always try to be in bed early on my business trips and enjoy it immensely to have dinner at 7pm and then be in my pjs by 8pm. And I do not have kids. Earlier this month I was at a trade fair and my boss (male) said he loves to be in bed early early and tries. catching 8 or 9 hours nights of sleep because back home he always works another shift when the kids are in bed.
ReplyDeleteIt must be even tougher for women.
It's really unfortunate that there is still such an imbalance when it comes to women, or should I say, moms in leadership positions. Even if we like to believe that things have improved in that realm (and they probably have), they still are very imbalanced. The nonchalant statement of your male colleague is testament to that.
ReplyDelete