I've spent some time considering the differences between my WhatsApp departure and my husband's WhatsApp departure, and I am starting to wonder whether the disparate reactions are indicative of a larger disparate gendered impact of smartphone technology for women.
Recently I had the chance to join a protest for things I believe strongly in. Pregnant than Screwed organized the March of the Mummies in Cardiff - campaigning for things very close to my heart:
- Good quality affordable childcare for all children
- Flexible working as the default
- Ring fenced, properly paid paternity leave
I decided not to go. Embarrassing as it is, one of the reasons I didn't want to attend was fear of trolls, of ending up on the internet, of putting myself in a public space.
I'm a firm believer that the history of "public vs. private space" is a history of the power of men to control the public sphere. I wrote dissertations on this... two of them. Both dissertations promoted the notion that in the 1800s and early 1900s women had public influence through their private influence.
Pardon my French, but I now call BS on this concept.
I now believe that the idea of 19th century women wielding "power" in private, through their husbands, their home life, their local communities and associations, is actually a history of subjugation. It may be a narrative appropriate for individual women - some women held agency or public influence through community association, but that doesn't mean women generally had access to this power.
Creating a structure where a woman can influence is not the same as creating a structure where women have influence.
I thought about going out in public, in support of women and mothers wanting rights and equality, and I was afraid. When Caroline Criado-Perez dared suggest we have a women on our bills she was subjugated to horrific abuse on the internet. The public sphere was historically not for women, and the internet has become an extension of that.
I read the march comments on WalesOnline, which I should never do, and the vitriol against women is extreme.
The public sphere has never been a safe place for women. The internet is even less so. I know it seems insane to write on the internet about how unsafe I feel on the internet. For me, the implied difference is that this blog is like my internet home. I’m not on Twitter or Facebook, the blog visitors (who I adore - thank you!) are generally “invited” from other blogs. I feel marginally safe here, and like I have something I want to say which is larger than my fear of saying it.
I don’t feel safe on Twitter or Facebook or Google. With the internet 2.0 we have created a second world, even more hostile to women than the one we initially tried to escape from.
This is such an interesting post, and your academic background is fascinating. The public world does seem incredibly hostile these days. The amount of hate spread online shocks me.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I read some interesting articles and books about women and the public sphere today and now I struggle to unsee how unequal the hatred is - I really think the internet has gotten so much angrier than it was ten years ago. I also find that generally vitriol on the internet against men is aimed at their ideas, but hatred against women is directed straight to the woman. I wish I had any idea how to improve the situation, but I'm hoping that carving out a quiet corner of my own internet to think about these things might help?
DeleteI haven't had a social media account (aside from my blog - which I realize is quite public, but feels...very different at this point, but I would stop if it didn't!) for well over a decade now. I don't miss it at all. I honestly have no idea how I would manage life if I was on Facebook/Instagram. The hatred/comparison or sheer overwhelm of information would be too much for me I think.
ReplyDeleteI'm nostalgic for the old internet of Blogs without corresponding social media... I'm really glad to hear you don't have Facebook or Instagram either, your blog is amazing and wonderfully written, thank you for sharing it. I know lots of bloggers I like use social media and I think they must be amazing at compartmentalizing their blog vs. social media feed inputs. For me it got too tricky. Thank you for your blog.
DeleteI read Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez and was shocked at how much abuse she took for just bringing to attention things that a lot of women knew just by living their lives. A couple of times in the book she would sort of mention some harassments she received online, mostly via Twitter, and she'd do it humorously and I was intrigued. In some ways, it must have been really scary. But on the other hand, her offhand dismissal of the trolls also seems to take power away from them. It's a scary world out there.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment - I thought that book was amazing, and I was also so impressed by her ability to ignore trolls. It would have been so scary. I know we should offhandedly dismiss that kind of abuse but I'm also aware that negative comments can sit with me for a long time. For me, I don't want to open myself to potential trolling... but I also feel bad that's even a concern of mine when thinking about bigger world topics.
DeleteIt's so true that she does bring attention to things women already knew. Invisible Women is one of the best books I read last year. The Authority Gap by Mary Ann Sieghart is great as well and helped me notice my own bias's more.
I have social media accounts but only use them in very specific ways. I stay out off certain online discussions for a reason, not because I don't have strong opinions but because the internet trolls can be vile.
ReplyDeleteI'm so impressed with people who can use social media so well - I couldn't do it. Good point about staying off online discussions too, but I also wonder whether that's something women learn faster than men, and if so whether the internet is missing out on women's contributions in conversation because we are self censoring more?
DeleteI have Facebook and Instagram accounts but never use them, and I don't do twitter. To be honest I've never thought about not being safe- I just don't have the time. I'm also not interested in getting into political or social debates on the internet- but maybe that's a copout. Food for thought here!
ReplyDeleteI do have an Instagram and Facebook account but like San I only use them for specific things and try to stay out of certain online dicussions. I think certain conversations should not happen on the internet. I always get the feeling that online some people have no filter and say things they likely would not say to a persons face or in a group in real life. I never felt unsafe before myself and would leave if that was the case.
ReplyDeleteAgree totally with you re the internet, luckily I have very few visitors, and so can write in my own space freely. I still have social media accounts but I keep mine private and I would never venture any opinion on there apart from "congratualtions", "so cute" etc. I stay well away from joining any conversation that might be controversial, too many ways to be misunderstood.
ReplyDeleteInteresting thought. I agree often times it the female doing the social planning and keeping on top of it. However there are exceptions. But what makes me wonder more though is if it really needs to be the way that everyone has a right to have an opinion. I would say no. If I invite i set a. date. If people cant come so be it. I agree those are the little things... If organizing a family reunion or such it would be helpful to figure out a day that most people can join. In my family though we have a set weekend. This way everyone has it penciled into the calendar.
ReplyDeleteit looks like the article has changed and my comment doesnt make much sense anymore ... interesting I have to re-read now
ReplyDeleteHmm I think you meant to comment on a post I had accidentally published for a moment this morning - sorry about that! Your comment is a great one for that post, I'm not sure why it was showing up though. Sorry about that and thanks for your thoughts - I love the idea of a set weekend for specific plans.
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