Naming What Matters - Lazy Genius-ing my life right now

My life is fairly chaotic right now.  Halfterm just finished and Isaac (5) is back to school today.  Lilah (3) has three days of nursery a week (Tues-Thurs). The twins will be 4 months old at the end of this month, and while they're getting easier I still dislike certain things about twin babies... mostly burping, the amount of vomit I have on me, short wake windows such that I feel I'm *always* putting them down for naps, 7 feed a day (around 3 hours of feeding out of 24).  Actually, I like the feeding OK, but I'm not sure it's how I would chose to spend 3 hours of my own time.

Here are some of the things I have figured out since they were born by naming what matters (stolen from the Lazy Genius!) and letting go of the rest

Rachel Morning Time:

Right now it is my Rachel morning time, so I am doing Rachel morning stuff.  I can see the following things from where I am sat in the dining room:

• 2 dirty nappies
• the nappy bag on the floor
• a tumbled down lincoln log house
• a sticky floor
• a puzzle box lid (begs the question, where is the rest of the puzzle and box?)

Prior to these baby things I could have spent a quick 15 minutes sorting this all out.  However... I may only have 15 minutes of time for me right now, and I know that what matters to me is me time. So instead I am blogging, and assuming the mess will get cleaned up later.  The important thing about morning time is it's my time

Don't be precious about food:

There's a chicken carcass in a bag on the counter in the kitchen.  Why? I assume that was a forgotten Andy project to freeze for stock.  I think past Rachel would have been annoyed - are we a family that wastes a good stock-chicken?  But we can buy more chicken someday. Stock was an Andy project.  Seems a waste of a plastic bag, but we also have a lot of plastic bags.

I got a lot of chocolate and biscuits after the babies were born and my natural inclination is to save the best ones for "special" occasions.  I used to get annoyed if Andy at my Tony's chocolony bar because I love them! But they sell them at the small grocery store down the road.  I can afford a £3 bar of chocolate.  I am very lucky.  I used to have nice cheddar for eating and cheaper cheddar for cooking.  If someone uses the nice cheddar for cooking I can get more cheddar.  Just be happy someone else is cooking.  If someone eats the last bagel know I can buy more bagels.

Ask for help

I think this twin thing is somewhat impossible.  I have had to ask for help far more than every before.  One morning after getting almost no sleep I texted our neighbour (who I barely know) and asked if she could walk Isaac to school.  She did.  I texted people I don't know super well and asked if Isaac or Lilah could have play dates at their house.  When people were at my house I would ask them to get in the laundry or make me some food.  People like being helpful and they like being asked.  They can say no - but they mostly didn't. 

Be nice to Isaac and Lilah - the upset moment is not the teachable one

Twins is a lot. Isaac and Lilah have done really well, but when they are tired they *are* more on edge.  So am I.  I am always on edge.  I try to remind myself to approach them with kindness in the first instance.  This morning they were up at 6am (their OK to wake clock is 6:30) and instead of stomping up and saying "Get back in bed it's too early!" I started with a morning cuddle for both of them. Then we picked a book together and I told them I was so excited to see them downstairs at 6:30.  Did I have to go back upstairs 4 times in last 20 minutes to remind them to be quiet? Yes.  Would I prefer they just stay in their room till 6:30 LIKE WE HAVE TOLD THEM TO DO FOREVER AND EVER? Yes! But in the interim, avoiding crying and "I want to go downstairs now" battles is a victory for this morning.

Anyway, my real point is that if things look all la-de-dah on this blog it is definitely not all easy peasy here.  There are lots of compromises.  I will look forward to being in a season of life where my floor is swept nightly, where laundry is put away daily, where the table isn't sticky in the morning.  Right now I'm trying to remember what matters and ignore the rest - because as Kendra says, if Everything matters then Nothing matters.

PS - does matching pyjamas matter? Yes! Was this photo taken on valentines day? Not at all: